Health, Fitness & Personal Growth Tips for Women in Midlife: Asking for a Friend

Ep.193 You’re Not Done Yet: Finding Courage, Confidence & Reinvention in Midlife

• Michele Henning Folan

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Midlife can feel destabilizing.

The kids are leaving. Careers are shifting. Parents are aging. Hormones are changing. And somewhere inside, a quiet voice says, “I’m not done yet.”

In this conversation, Michele sits down with fellow podcaster Kim Benoy, host of Midlife Courage: Flourishing After 40, to explore what courage actually looks like in the second half of life.

After a 27-year nursing career, Kim made a bold pivot — not because she had everything figured out, but because she felt called to something more. Together, they unpack:

  • Why confidence doesn’t come before action — it comes from it
  • The hidden identity shifts women experience in midlife
  • Why losing weight won’t fix what’s happening internally
  • The power of small acts of courage (setting boundaries, speaking up, trying something new)
  • How community accelerates confidence
  • Why “someday” is not a strategy

This isn’t about Instagram quotes or overnight reinvention.

It’s about quiet bravery.
Tiny steps.
And remembering that you don’t need permission to evolve.

If you’ve been feeling restless, stuck, or quietly unhappy — this conversation will remind you that courage is already in you. It just needs to be activated.

Join Kim's next Midlife with Courage Community Circle - March 3, 2026

You can find Kim Benoy at https://www.midlifewithcourage.com/podcast

https://www.instagram.com/midlife_with_courage/

_________________________________________
If you’re doing “all the right things” and still feel stuck, adding a layer of support may be an option. I’ve partnered with a trusted telehealth platform offering modern solutions for women in midlife—including micro-dosed GLP-1 and other peptide therapies.

https://elliemd.com/michelefolan - Create a free account to view all products.

1:1 and Midlife Health and Longevity Coaching mailto:mfolanfasterway@gmail.com

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/askingforafriend_pod/

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Transcripts are created with AI and may not be perfectly accurate.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional healthcare services. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions regarding a medical condition.

Michele Folan:

The information shared on this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding your individual health needs. You already know I don't believe in shortcuts. If you're not lifting, walking, eating enough protein, managing stress, and prioritizing sleep, peptides are not the answer. Lifestyle is the foundation, always. But here's the truth: midlife biology can be stubborn. Hormones shift, recovery slows, body composition changes, and energy dips even when you're doing the work. That's where medically supported peptide therapy can be layered in, not as a replacement for discipline, but as strategic support. Physician prescribed, clinically guided, compounded through an FDA-regulated pharmacy. This is about optimization, not escape. If you've built the foundation and feel like you've hit a wall, this might be the next intelligence step. Lifestyle first, strength mandatory, support biology when it needs backup. If this resonates, send me a message and let's have a real discussion. Or check out the link in the show notes. Health, wellness, fitness, and everything in between. We're removing the taboo from what really matters in midlife. The career, the family rhythm, the boxes checked. And yet something inside you says, I'm not done yet. I felt that myself. And after nearly 200 conversations on this podcast, I've noticed a pattern. So many of my guests, especially midlife women, are doing things now that genuinely light them up, changing careers, claiming space, or using their voice in new ways. So I keep asking myself, is it bravery? Is it clarity that comes with age? Is it finally giving fewer darns for what other people think or what other people's expectations are? Or is it simply courage, the quiet decision to stop shrinking and start choosing yourself? That's why I was excited to bring on fellow podcaster Kim Benoy, host of Midlife Courage, Flourishing After 40. Kim made her own pivot after a successful career in nursing and now spends her time having honest conversations about confidence, courage, and what's actually possible in the second half of life. Together we talk about her journey, what she's learned from hosting a top-ranked podcast, and the common thread she sees among women who decide to step forward instead of settling back. And if you've ever wondered whether life after 50 can be deeply fulfilling, not perfect, not polished, but meaningful and energizing, the answer is yes. This conversation makes that crystal clear. Kim Benoit, welcome to Asking for a Friend.

Kim Benoy:

Thank you, Michele. I'm so happy to be here.

Michele Folan:

I got to be on Kim's podcast and I love the reciprocity deal with this podcasting thing because whenever I meet another podcaster, I'm like, I gotta have you on my show. And I just feel like these conversations are so robust. So speaking of which, Kim Benoy, you had this very successful career in nursing. What started whispering to you that something needed to change?

Kim Benoy:

Wow. Yes. Um yeah, I was a nurse for about 27 years, and I it was around the time I turned 40. Something, I don't know. I don't, I tell people it's a grant, it was a gradual process. It wasn't like, oh, I woke up one day and said, I don't want to do this anymore. There's a lot of different things that happened. Healthcare, I was realizing was not how I wanted it to be or what I thought it should be. Instead of, you know, instead of let's fix it, like take these symptoms and we're just gonna fix them and not worry about why, you know, root cause type things. I was kind of tired of that as the healthcare system. So that was kind of going around in my head, and then I was introduced to essential oils and how they work in the body and help us help the body get back to balance, as which is what our body wants to do naturally. And then the 40-year mark came, and I just I just had this feeling that there's more out there for me. I didn't know what it was, I didn't know what it looked like, but I just knew I had to do something else. I had to do something different.

Michele Folan:

How did confidence or lack of it show up during that transition? Because I know I I've been through this, I and I know it kind of white knuckle it.

Kim Benoy:

Yes, it's a lot different thinking about it and picturing. I'm a dreamer, so I have I spent a lot of time in my head feeling what things are gonna feel like when I get what I want, but then actually having to do the work is a little bit different because there's all these little barriers that come in, especially the ones in your mind. But I think I just knew that I was meant for more. I found, you know, I found a purpose eventually with working with midlife women, and that's what kept me going.

Michele Folan:

Were you, I don't want to say saddened, but were you surprised at the response from people when you said you were gonna give up your long career in nursing?

Kim Benoy:

I was a little surprised that my husband, well, I shouldn't say I was super surprised. My husband was had a plan in place. I didn't just go tell him, you know what, I want to be done nursing. I had a plan because I was working with the essential oils and I was deciding at that point to make my own products, and that was a way to bring income in. And so I said, okay, I'm this is what I'm gonna do, and I'm going to contribute to income through making these products. And he was all in. He's like, Great, it probably helped that the job that I was in was making me a little bit miserable, and he knew it. And he said, You have to do something else. So if that's what you want to do, you go.

Michele Folan:

You know, back to that, because I think that when we aren't happy, whether it's our job, whether it's our marriage, it really affects everything.

Kim Benoy:

Yes.

Michele Folan:

And I often tell people, he's like, you gotta want to have some change if you want to get out of that funk, because it it'll start to affect everybody and everything. Oh, yeah, in in your life.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, I'm sure I I mean I didn't even have to say a word at the end of the day. I'd come home and he knew, you know. I mean, we've been married for a long time, so there's that too. But yeah, and just sometimes you don't realize it until someone says it. And then you kind of think, oh yeah, I guess I have been kind of moping around or, you know, feeling angry or whatever. Like, okay, yeah, you're right.

Michele Folan:

Absolutely. So then my next question was how about your own identity as a nurse? You know, you you go from being a nurse and then you're doing the essential oils, which I think is really interesting. I'll like talk about that a little bit. But did you have trouble in the beginning kind of with your new identity?

Kim Benoy:

In a way, I did, because I'd been doing it for so long, and people knew me as a nurse. One part of me was thinking, wow, shouldn't I be more upset or more sad that I've done nursing? And I really wasn't. And I was talking to someone and she said, Well, you just check that box. You're done with that part. So that's true. And so I felt that, like, yeah, you're right, that is. But I feel like I'm nursing in a different way now, especially with the essential oils. I'm talking about health and wellness, and as I've evolved into helping women finding their own confidence again and growing their courage. That is a way of nursing. It's a way of caring for people and helping them heal, which I think is the core of nursing. So that's kind of where my mind has been with it. I don't feel like I lost anything. I feel like I'm just evolving it and changing it into something else.

Michele Folan:

And you just said something there, and I thought was kind of interesting. Do you feel like finding that courage oftentimes it's we've got to heal something? Like there's something, there's something there that's really holding people back from pursuing that thing.

Kim Benoy:

That's such a great question. Yes, actually, when I think about it, sure. You know, I mean personally growing up, I was the oldest kid and I had a lot of responsibility, you know, as the oldest kid, and um just carried that through to, you know, getting married, having my own kids, getting being becoming a nurse. And I never really paid attention to me and how important I was, and I want now it's my turn to be visible. And so having kind of healing that part of me that says, no, you're not supposed to do that, you can't do that. You're supposed to, you know, you're supposed to take care of everybody else, you have to do this and that. It's your turn now to let go of that and and you know, do what you need to do.

Michele Folan:

You know, you say, and I've I've heard you say this that midlife can be messy, but confidence doesn't have to be. What do you think makes midlife feel so destabilizing for women?

Kim Benoy:

Oh my goodness. There's so much coming at us. We've got, we're in this funny transition space. We've got, if you've had kids, they're probably either going out of the house soon or they're already out of the house. You've got changing careers. You know, personally, my husband retired a few years ago, and we're just now getting into a groove with that. And then parents, if your parents are still here, they're probably having some, you know, aging things going on, and I am helping with some of those things with my own parents. And then you throw in the perimenopause on top of all of it. It's a battlefield some days, I feel like.

Michele Folan:

What's one small mind shift that creates an outsized confidence boost for midlife women?

Kim Benoy:

I think, and I get this from my podcast guests, an overarching theme out of everyone who comes on to talk to me is you have to fill your own cup first before you can help anyone else. And I I really take that to heart, and I think other women should too. If that means you spend 10 minutes in the morning drinking your coffee without anybody else around, that's what you do. If it means going for a walk around the block by yourself, that's what you do. Whatever it is, make sure you're you're focusing on on you and doing that, that whatever that thing is. But you know that's hard.

Michele Folan:

It is, it's really hard for for women. We're, you know, we we've been so selfless all these years, and then we're thrown into a situation where we we may have some time now to focus on ourselves, and we almost feel guilty doing it. Oh, yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah. It's important though to realize, you know, I am valuable. I love to journal. I love to share that with other women. Start journaling. How are you feeling about something? If these feelings, if you're feeling something about a situation, feeling guilty, start writing out why am I feeling feeling guilty? And if you get to that reason, okay, why is that? Why do I feel guilty about that? And then why, why, why? Keep going until you get to that core, whatever it is. Um, maybe it's something that happened back in your childhood, you know, whatever it happens to be. Just taking that time to focus in on yourself should is gonna help build that confidence and say, okay, okay, now I know that. Now what's the next thing? What do I do with it?

Michele Folan:

Yeah. We're gonna take a quick break. And when we come back, I want to talk about your podcast and what your vision was for that. Before we jump back into today's conversation, I want to ask you something. If you've been listening for a while, you know this podcast isn't fluff. We talk about muscle, metabolism, hormones, brain health, longevity, the stuff that actually determines how we live in our 70s, 80s, and beyond. And the show keeps growing because you share it. So if an episode has helped you rethink your health, send it to a friend, text it to your sister, share it with your walking buddy. That's how this community expands. Smart, curious women bringing other smart, curious women with them. Also, I'd love to hear from you. What topics do you want me to explore? Who do you want me to challenge? What questions are you afraid to ask but secretly want answered? You can use the link in the show notes to join the community or send me an email with your ideas directly. This podcast exists because you're asking better questions. All right, let's get back to the episode. Okay, we are back. You started this podcast, which, by the way, is in the top 5% of podcasts globally. So congratulations. Thank you. What was your original goal when you launched the podcast? And then I'd love to know how it has evolved over time.

Kim Benoy:

Oh my goodness. My goal was it to f to start out. I just thought it was a great idea. I was, this is kind of going back to the essential oil days where I was building a business with a company, with the with an oils company, and I was still nursing, going back and forth. I decided, nope, it's business. I'm going to focus more on that. And I had gone to a business talk where the woman who was speaking said, find out, you know, what is your passion? What are you, what gets you out of bed in the morning? Whatever that is, put that into your business and it will thrive thrive and grow. And I had to think, I, you know, I took that to heart and I sat and thought about it. And I really like to get up in front of people and talk. I just do. I mean, as a nurse, we do that. We're teaching, we're educating. And I was involved in teaching classes and things. And at the time, there was not very many opportunities to get up in front of people because it was during COVID. And at the time, my daughter had a podcast. And I said, Well, if I can't get in front of people, I'm going to have a podcast. And it just kind of evolved into, okay, who am I going to talk to? And it is, it's going to be women in midlife like me. And I just built it around midlife with courage. And that just kind of evolved into the last actually 2025 was my my year of change. I realized I love the podcast. I love doing it. But I was calling it an expensive hobby.

Michele Folan:

Oh, let me tell you, sister. I know. It is. It is an expensive hobby.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah. And I love it. And it's been going strong for almost five years now. But last year I decided, okay, I need to do something more with it. I mean, I'm doing people love it. They love listening to the stories. But now what? What's the next thing? So I decided I want to take that into kind of a I hate to say coach because I don't have all this, you know, the full training of coach, but I think of myself as a cheerleader or a mentor for midlife women, helping them find their confidence and their courage again. It's it's in there. They just need to bring it out. And so I've created a courage and confidence circle. I'm doing some, I'm hoping to do some speaking this year. I'm really kind of looking for opportunities for that. Just building connection with other women. That's my ultimate goal with this. And now I feel like I'm using the podcast to really lead women to that and help them know that it's not listening to stories, which are great. It's what now, how can I help you with that, with what your journey is, if that makes sense.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, it does. You said something that that courage is in there. It's almost like we need to go back to when we were 12, 10, 12 years old, when we didn't really worry about what other people thought. Nope. Right. No. We were willing to try new things. Right. You know, we weren't afraid. And you know, someone said to me once, you know, go back to uh doing things that you like to do when you were a kid. So if that was acting, maybe it was art, maybe it was whatever, uh dancing. But why do we say, oh, I'm 60, I'm almost 62. Is it too late for me to take dancing lessons? No, absolutely not. I took tap dance lessons a few years ago. It was how many did you?

unknown:

Yes.

Michele Folan:

Oh my God, that's so funny. I was I was at the gym yesterday and they have a clogging class. Oh my gosh. For for beginners. And I thought, wow, clogging. Clogging. But that could be get great for fitness.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, you could really. I mean, if you really need to like get some energy out, like just when you're really upset with something, it's a clog, clog, clog, clog.

Michele Folan:

I'm I'm just afraid I get there and I'd I'd be the youngest person by 20 years in the class, you know. But anyway, but that but that's kind of what I'm saying. It it's we kind of almost need to, if I'm hearing you correctly, is that we almost need to go back to that youthful exuberance that we had. Yes. That what nothing's gonna stop me. I could do whatever I want, you know. Well, why? Yeah why why do we lose that, right? Okay, Kim. How do you decide which conversations are worth having on your show? What what's your what's your gauge on that?

Kim Benoy:

I always think of what my listeners want to hear and go with that. What I know because I've gotten feedback is they don't want someone who's selling something. So I kind of tend to veer away from those kinds of conversations. When people want to be on my podcast, I get a lot of pitches to be on it. And if their first thing is, well, I have this program and then I wrote a book and I have this, I want to hear your story. And I won't automatically say, nope, sorry. I will actually say to them or you know, respond back, okay, that's great. Tell me your story. How did you decide to get to this point to offer these things, which are great? I don't think that's bad. I mean, I'm doing the same thing, but the the listeners want to hear stories because that's where they get their inspiration. So if there's a story, there's some people you can just I just feel it like, oh, my listeners would love this, or I know I would love this, so I'm gonna share it. You know, it's just it's an intuitive thing, and it's also kind of a practical thing. My listeners don't want to be sold anything, you know, want to be sold to, if that makes sense.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, and I agree, I agree, and I I probably turn down a lot of guests who are peddling the new supplement or whatever. It's just but you're right, everybody does have a story to tell. And who who really lights you up? Like when you put a guest in front of the mic, who do you go? Oh, I just love these kind of conversations.

Kim Benoy:

I love people who or women who have a a challenge, a physical challenge, is for one, is something that really, you know. I I just interviewed someone, her episode will be out. I don't know when this will air, but it's in it will be coming out in February. As a teenager, she fell through a theater floor and was paralyzed. And so she's been in a wheelchair since then, and now she's in her 40s, and her attitude is just amazing. And I just I had to have her on the show. I said, I really need to have you come on. And she was, of course, more than happy. But those kinds of stories, I just anyone who's any woman who's overcome a challenge, and it doesn't have to be a huge challenge like that. It could be, you know what? I I walked in the house one day and my husband said he wanted to divorce me, and it was, you know, a 30-year marriage or whatever, and I didn't know what to do, but they found a way and they're thriving. I love that because that tells someone who's listening who might be in a similar situation that they can overcome whatever it is they have going on too.

Michele Folan:

You know, and that is a great point because you know, just to hear how somebody picked themselves up, I mean, that's that's a common that's a common thing. You know, something awful happens and you you gotta figure out your way forward. And that can be a great source of inspiration for someone. In your experience, though, what does courage actually look like in midlife? Not not the Instagram quote version. But what does that what does that look like to you?

Kim Benoy:

Courage to me is is small. It might be something that. Someone else doesn't even notice, but you did it. Maybe you spoke up in a meeting at work. Maybe you set a boundary with someone that has been not there before. Whatever it is, this even if it's so small that only you notice it, whatever it it was that made you kind of sit up and go, Oh, I did that. And that was amazing. That's courage to me.

Michele Folan:

Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

So it's a vague answer, but yeah.

Michele Folan:

I'm curious, have you ever had a guest that said something that personally changed you?

Kim Benoy:

I've had so many. It's hard to I I know. I have there is there was one lady, she's actually actually local to me. And her it's a horrible thing that happened. Her um, she had three daughters who were tragically um murdered by her ex. And just the attitude she has, that would have put me over the edge. I I don't know what I would do, but just her her attitude and her willingness to take that horrible thing that happened and just keep going out in the world and spreading kindness and letting people know that they're whatever it is they're going through, they're gonna be okay or they can be okay. That changed me a lot, I think, because just have that, just that attitude, like, and it's not well, she lost her kids and I can get through anything if she can do that. It's more of no, she came, she went within herself to find that strength and she found it, and here she is thriving. And I'm sure she I know she has bad days too, but she's still out there and she's still spreading kindness and joy, and I think that's amazing.

Michele Folan:

What do you think is something that women think they need to feel confident before they act, but actually don't?

Kim Benoy:

I I think they need I think they think that they need to look the certain way, they need to have this the the body, the Instagram body that everybody's, you know, just do this and you'll look lose all the the menopause weight and all that kind of stuff. I think they need to look, I really do think that they feel like they they need to look a certain way to do what they want to do, but they don't. We know, you know, I know. No.

Michele Folan:

No, I know, I know, because guess what? You can lose 25 pounds, but you still got all the other shit.

Kim Benoy:

That's right. It's still there, it's still waiting for you.

Michele Folan:

And so it's you gotta do the inner work first. And and sometimes if you if you I don't know if you agree with this, but once you do the inner work, then the the how you feel about the outside matters a whole lot less. Right. Because you you care less about what other people think. You you you have that confidence that comes from the inside out. Yes. Yes. Because losing 20 pounds isn't gonna solve all your problems.

Kim Benoy:

No, you can lose it on the outside, but if the inside doesn't change, forget it. You're just gonna be back where you were before.

Michele Folan:

You know, I had uh a doctor on the podcast this week, so this is the second week of January, and she she said, Well, we we talked a lot about weight loss because that's her specialty. And she she commented about the psychological weight of losing weight. Oh, okay, and how you may be identified, like it's you've always been maybe the the bigger person, or and and then all of a sudden you aren't, and how you stop identifying as that person that you you were on the outside, not the inside, but who you were on the outside. She says it's you know, uh she says, you know, we're treating the whole patient. Yes, it's not we're not just treating the weight, we're treating the the psychological impact of the weight loss.

Kim Benoy:

Is it I listened to that episode? That was very good.

Michele Folan:

Oh, you did. Okay. Yeah, that was with Dr. uh Sallas Whalen. And um so anyway, but but I I think that's that is such an interesting observation that you know we don't we don't have to we don't have to check off every single box before we say we're ready to do something. And that I think is the message that you and I both talk about. It's if you wait until you feel like you're totally ready, you won't do it. Yes, it just it ain't not gonna happen. Yeah, yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, Michelle, someday never comes. Someday is not an actual day. If you don't wait for someday for something to happen, or you know, for some like like you said, yeah, you have to you have to take action, and that's a huge lesson for a lot of women to learn.

Michele Folan:

Yeah. Can you share a client or listener story where someone truly stepped into a braver version of herself? Oh my goodness. So many. I know. You probably have so many. Episode like 250 something. So I didn't tell you I was gonna ask you that question.

Kim Benoy:

So that's okay. That's good. That's a challenge. That's good. Um, I like a challenge. I think one and this might be along the lines that you're asking. I just did my first session of my courage and confidence circle, and one of the women in the group wanted to speak up at work. She had this situation at work where she felt like she was not confident enough to speak up. And I had kind of, I don't know her. I mean, she lives the other side of the country, but she had mentioned that she works with horses. And I've had horses before, not anymore, but and I I just was talking to her and I said, you know, when you work with that thousand-pound animal, you have to have confidence. Otherwise, that animal's gonna run you right over or do whatever it wants to do. And I said, take that feeling that you have, that confidence that you have with that horse, I mean with an animal, and kind of bring it with you to work when you're thinking about, okay, I'm I need to have this conversation or I need to speak up, feel that confidence and then use that to interact with your boss or whoever it happened to be. And she's like, Oh, I never thought of that before. And then she came back later, she said, Yeah, that really did help me. I was able to, you know, use that confidence that I use in this other area of my life and use it at work. So I love that was amazing to me. Like, oh yeah, it works.

Michele Folan:

It you know, it's like having that confidence person on your shoulder, yeah, whispering in your ear.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, don't back down.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Or even stand your ground, girl. You you got this, you got this. Yeah. Just put your knee. Like, I'll be on your shoulder. Yeah. No, just but thinking about, I love to say it's almost like a a confidence resume or a life resume, I think I've called it, where you kind of look back at your life and what are the things that you've done. Okay, well, let's see. I went to nursing school. I had two year olds at the time. I've been married for 37 years. That's a big thing. But just maybe your thing is, you know what? I keep getting out of bed every morning, even though I'm really having some emotional issues or depression or whatever it happens to be. Think about those things and list them out and see. You've already done these amazing things. That gives you a base to go out and you can do even more if that's what you want to do. Yeah. I just get lit up about that. I just love that. Yeah.

Michele Folan:

And you know, this is something we've we've covered career topics on on the podcast quite a bit. And I don't as much now because we've really focused more on, you know, the health and wellness. But you know, I think oftentimes we minimize the experiences that we've we have. Yes. You know, raising kids, running a house, volunteering, running this committee, raising money for this. I mean, those are all skills and talents and experience that are valuable to our organization. And my hope for women is that whether you're 45, 55, 65, or beyond, is that you embrace that experience is value. I just, because that always makes me say I feel like, oh, I was just a stay-at-home mom. I'm like, don't say that you were just a stay-home mom, because you've done so much more than that.

Kim Benoy:

That that four-letter word, that just is a four-letter word. I I actually have a little talk about that, but we use that a lot and we don't realize it. And when I catch other women doing it, I'll go, hey, uh-uh, you didn't just do this, you did this. And like, oh yeah, you're right.

Michele Folan:

I used just in an email the other day and I caught myself and I I took it out. Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

The reason that came to me years ago when I was a younger nurse, I would walk into rooms and I, you know, you knock on the door and say, Hey, it's Kim coming in. I would say, Oh, it's just the nurse coming in, or it's just Kim coming in. And one day a patient said to me, You need to stop saying that. I'm like, What? Don't use the word just. You are the nurse. And at the time I was, oh, okay. And I didn't do it anymore, but I just recently was thinking about it. Wow, what a huge statement that was. And I just, it started me, and now I don't even, if I catch myself thinking it, I'll stop myself. So yeah, I'm like the just police going around to people. She's a business person. She said, Oh, I just had 11 people sign up for my whatever program. I said, You had 11 people sign up for your program. You know, just stop minimizing yourself.

Michele Folan:

Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, what do you think is possible for women when they stop trying to go back to who they were and start building who they want to be now?

Kim Benoy:

There's no limit to what women can do, I feel. The more that I work with women of this age, and the more I listen, the more important connection is. And we are so good at connecting with each other. And if we can do that as we build our confidence, there's no limit to what we can do. We can, I mean, it sounds grandiose or whatever, but we can change the world. We need we need more kindness and joy, especially right now with everything going on. It's gonna start between people and midlife women are the perfect people to do this. We we start growing together and with each other, and we just kind of bloom out and affect those around us.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, yeah, I agree. And then Kim, you have your coaching circle and you have another one coming up here in 2026. Tell us a little bit about that, how that works, and how people can get involved.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, if it's a three-month program at the moment. This is how I'm starting it. And we meet over Zoom once a month for about an hour to 90 minutes, and I go over a little bit of content, if you want to call it that. Uh, the first month we talk about mindset, the second month we talk about um the fear of change and how that affects our confidence. And the third month is about taking action and how competence relates to confidence. And so we meet once a month in the over Zoom, and then I'm doing a mid-kind of a mid-month check-in because I found that that month in between meetings was too long to be talking to each other. Um, but it's just a really great, I only talk for maybe 10, 15 minutes, but and then we kind of interact, and I'm finding the the value in it is from the women connecting with each other and sharing, you know, how they're feeling and how they look at their own confidence. And it's been amazing. And then as part of that, they are in a um an online community, a school online community called Midlife with Courage. And we do some interactions in there as well. And it's just a really, it's just a great one girl, one lady called it cozy. She said it just feels cozy and supportive, and I just love you know interacting with the other women. So I'm trying to, I'm doing that. I'm starting a new one March, March 3rd is the first date. Um, if you go to my website, midlife with courage.com, very first page, there'll be a spot where you can sign up for that.

Michele Folan:

Wonderful. And I love that. And and I'm big on the community piece. Yes, yes. I just think that you know there's there's power in those numbers when women can you know feed off each other, but also realize they're not alone.

Kim Benoy:

Yes, yeah, that just builds on everything. And that one of the things that got me into this whole everything, I had a situation at a a vendor event where I was selling my oils and it was all women. It was purposely made to be all women. And I realized at the end of the day, end of the day how supportive everyone was of each other. There was no competing, there was no catty, don't go to her table, come to my table, kind of thing, which I've seen before. And I thought, oh my gosh, how wonderful was that? And I thought, well, we can keep doing that. Let's keep doing that. How can I make that happen again? So kind of all of this has kind of stemmed right from that little situation. So are you still doing the oils? I do a little bit. I love to create blends for people. I have a lady who has a, she wanted a scar serum that I I was just dying to make for her and and it worked wonderfully. So I keep, you know, making that for her. But um, I don't take my stuff around to sales anymore. That just wasn't what I wanted to do anymore. But if anyone wants me to make a product, I will uh and make a heel balm. And there's some things on my website. I have a lot of roller bottles there too. So I will do it. It's just kind of a like a secondary part right now of what I'm doing. It's your side hustle.

Michele Folan:

Side hustle, yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

Michele Folan:

So Kim Benoy, if a woman is listening today and feels restless, stuck, quietly unhappy, which there's a lot out there, but scared to rock the boat, what would you want her to hear?

Kim Benoy:

I would want her to hear that she matters. And if if there's a thought in her head of something else she wants to do, there's a reason for that. And she should find that first step towards it. And it might be looking up in a book, whatever it happens to be, or it might just be telling someone that you want to do that. Whatever that little tiny step is, take it because you are worth it and you are beautiful and valued, and We need you to do what you want to do.

Michele Folan:

You know what I say? I say, if you tell someone you're gonna do it, then you gotta do it. Then you have to do it. I said it's like chucking the ball over the fence and you can't go get the ball. Can't go get it once you once you once you throw the ball over the fence, you can't go get it. That's right. That's why I post about myself exercising because I'm not very good at it. Well, it keeps you accountable.

Kim Benoy:

Exactly.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, Kim Benoy, this was a lot of fun. Thank you for being a guest today on Asking for a Friend. Thank you so much, Michele, for having me. I really enjoyed it. Before you go, thank you for being here. If you want to go a little deeper, make sure you check out the show notes for this episode. That's where I link anything we mentioned, resources, partners, or tools I actually use and trust. And if you're not already on the Asking for a Friend community newsletter, that's where I share practical midlife tips, favorite finds, recipes, and the things that don't always make it onto the podcast or Instagram. You'll find the link to join in the show notes. Take care, and I'll see you next week.