Health, Fitness & Personal Growth Tips for Women in Midlife: Asking for a Friend

Ep.190 The Hidden Cost of Clutter in Midlife (And How to Let It Go)

• Michele Henning Folan • Episode 190

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Clutter in midlife affects more than your home—it impacts stress, mental health, and how you show up for your next chapter.

In this episode of Asking for a Friend, Michele Folan is joined by Tracy Hoth, a professional organizer with 17 years of experience, a science-based life coach, and host of the Organized Coach Podcast.

Together, they explore why clutter feels heavier in midlife—and why it’s not just about “too much stuff.” As hormones shift and life transitions pile up, postponed decisions, emotional attachments, and changing identities can quietly increase stress, overwhelm, and decision fatigue.

This conversation dives into:

  • How clutter impacts cortisol, mental health, and energy levels
  • Why women feel clutter-related stress more deeply in midlife
  • Empty nesting, downsizing, and merging households
  • Letting go of kids’ belongings and family items without guilt
  • Why your children don’t want your stuff—and how to release it anyway
  • Navigating different clutter tolerances in relationships
  • Simple, realistic ways to start decluttering without perfection or overwhelm

This episode is not about Pinterest pantries or minimalism for the sake of aesthetics. It’s about clarity, freedom, and creating physical and emotional space for the life you want to live next.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed in your own home but couldn’t quite explain why—this conversation will resonate.

You can find Tracy Hoth at: https://simplysquaredaway.com/

Podcast: https://simplysquaredaway.com/podcast/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/tracyhoth

Get the 15-minuteDeclutterChallenge: 

http://simplysquaredaway.com/declutter

_________________________________________
If you’re doing “all the right things” and still feel stuck, adding a layer of support may be an option. I’ve partnered with a trusted telehealth platform offering modern solutions for women in midlife—including micro-dosed GLP-1 and other peptide therapies.

https://elliemd.com/michelefolan - Create a free account to view all products.

1:1 and group Midlife Health and Longevity Coaching mailto:mfolanfasterway@gmail.com

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Transcripts are created with AI and may not be perfectly accurate.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional healthcare services. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions regarding a medical condition.

Michele Folan:

I want to take a minute to talk to the woman who's doing everything right. You're eating well, you're lifting weights, you're walking, managing stress, and trying to sleep, and yet your body isn't responding the way it used to. I see this every single day as a coach, and I've lived it myself. And here's what I want you to hear clearly. There is no failure here. Midlife physiology is different. Hormones shift, metabolism adapts, inflammation and muscle loss become real obstacles, even when your habits are solid. That's why I went looking for answers, not shortcuts. After a lot of research, conversations with physicians, and personal experience, I chose to partner with a medical team that offers physician-prescribed peptides as an adjunct to a healthy lifestyle, not a replacement for it. Peptides aren't magic, they don't override poor habits. But when used appropriately and medically supervised, they can help support things like metabolic health, recovery, body composition, and overall vitality, especially when lifestyle alone isn't moving the needle anymore. If you're curious, if you want real information, not hype, and you want to explore whether this extra layer of support makes sense for your body, I've made that resource available. You'll find the link in the show notes. No pressure, no shame, just options for the long game. Health, wellness, fitness, and everything in between, we're removing the taboo from what really matters in midlife. I'm your host, Michele Folan, and this is Asking for a Friend. If you're a woman in midlife and feel overwhelmed in your own home, but you can't quite explain why, this conversation is for you. Because clutter isn't just about too much stuff, it's about postponed decisions, unfinished chapters, and the emotional weight of holding on to life that no longer fits. Today's guest understands this deeply. Tracy Hoth is a professional organizer with 17 years of experience helping women bring order to their homes, but more importantly, clarity to their lives. She's also a science-based life coach and the host of the Organized Coach podcast, where she helps women in the second half of life downsize with purpose, release the overwhelm, and step into a calmer, more confident identity. In this episode, we're talking about the real cost of clutter, how it impacts mental health, relationships, decision making, and even how fully we show up for this next chapter. We'll dig into empty nesting, downsizing, merging households, why our kids don't want our stuff, and how to keep memories without drowning in them. This is not about perfection or Pinterest pantries. It's about freedom and finally creating space physically and emotionally for what's next. Tracy Hoth, welcome to Asking for a Friend.

Tracy Hoth:

Wow, Michele, that was the best introduction ever.

Michele Folan:

Oh, well, thank you. You know, I I mean, I do use chat sometimes, but I've tried not to lean on it too much, Tracy. And I don't know, you know, because you you're in the same business I am. I noticed that if I use chat too much, my brain starts to not work.

Tracy Hoth:

I'm like, what would I do without it? I don't know. But I mean, we can think that about anything, right? What would we do without our phones? Yeah. Getting information, finding the answers to questions that we have within seconds.

Michele Folan:

I know. And so I just don't want my brain to come, you know, become mush. Yeah. So that's why I don't lean on chat too, too much. And I like writing. I've told other guests this. I like to write. It's just that it's the time thing, right?

Speaker 2:

Yes. Yeah.

Michele Folan:

All right. All right, let's dig in here. Tracy Hoth, you have an origin story. I know everybody's got a good story. So kind of take us back. How did you first get into professional organizing?

Tracy Hoth:

Well, I stayed home with my four kids, and I loved going and doing things with them, going to parks and going to play dates, and I would ask friends. And I had lots of friends that stayed home. We were kind of all in the same situation, but we loved to do stuff. But I would hear friends say, no, no, I have things to do. I have to organize my house or clean up or whatever. And then another friend, my youngest child's best friend, her mom wouldn't let anybody in their house. And I hadn't been around someone that didn't let people in their home. And I remember when my youngest was starting school, I had even known before that that I want to help people organize. And I just started. I made a website, I got business cards, and then I started helping that friend. And I just said, hey, let me come in. I will help you go through each area and learned a lot with that. And then started getting clients. I started speaking on the topic of organizing and productivity. And it just went from there. And I would go in lots of homes and offices and get really wore out. And I said, I am not going to continue doing this forever. So I started looking for what I kind of wanted to do going forward. And I love coaching people. I found coaching in 2017 and got certified in 2018 and realized this is the missing part. I was not into self-help. I was not into the mindset at all when I was doing it in person. And when I combine the mindset, our thoughts, the science part of it with the tools that I had learned and developed, it is magical. Like that is what will make change. That's what gets people to their goals. So now I help people online.

Michele Folan:

So I gotta say this because first of all, the and I you're not gonna throw anyone under the bus, but that for the friend who wasn't really excited about letting people in her house, how bad was it? Like I'm sure you've seen worse.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah, I've seen worse. She is very neat, very tidy as far as like, and this is what I find that you just get behind. And then you have piles of stuff and you don't know where to put them because there's piles of stuff places. So it wasn't like hoarder, it wasn't dirty in the sense there was food anywhere. She was just very particular and, you know, folded clothes a certain way and kept plant, you know, like little leaves and just was just such a sweet, caring person that she had just gotten behind, I think. And if she was donating something, and maybe some of your listeners can relate, you want to donate the whole set, or you want to donate everything washed and cleaned. And so you put that more work on yourself to find the perfect set, and you have half sets all over of toys and stuff, and it just became too much.

Michele Folan:

And then it sits in the back of your car for six months. As you drive past the donation center three times a week, it's just a matter of pulling in. I have stuff in the back of my car right now, by the way. So I'm I'm I'm speaking from experience on that one. And the reason I ask you that about how bad was it? Because I think this is not uncommon that women get behind and they feel like my house isn't worthy to have people over or to entertain. And that has to be to me a very frustrating feeling, but almost feeling like you're in a I don't want to say a prison, but you're kind of captive in your home.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah, and in your life, then because you're not doing the things you want to do and having the people in, and you can't seem to get to the point. But I think a lot of this comes back to the pictures that are posted on the internet, on Instagram, on Pinterest are so over the top, beautiful with the lighting and the rainbow colors and everything is perfection. And so I always like to remind people that being organized is just knowing what you have and being able to find it when you need it. So it's not, it doesn't mean that it looks like that. It doesn't need to look like that. You just need to know what you have and be able to find it. And so I am way more down to earth. Like I just want us to have a life where we can find what we need and we can enjoy our homes. What surprised you most about working with women in their homes? Well, I think that people were surprised that they thought their house was the worst. Like they think that they're alone in their struggles. And having been in so many people's homes and seen all of it, I think a lot of a lot more people are messier, I guess, is what the word would be than what you see in the inner on the internet. Or when you go to that one person who opened their home who's just completely got it all together, or even they smashed everything behind the door. So you don't see that. They are also struggling with clutter, but it's all behind closed doors. So you assume that their house is perfect and they're so organized, and they're like, no. I mean, I've had people call me and I walk in and I'm like, you don't need me. And they're like, oh, wait, let me open this closet door, and things come tumbling out of it. Oh, yeah. So they're just good stuffers.

Michele Folan:

When my mom passed away, and I may have told this story on another podcast. So if people have heard it before, I apologize, but my mom's place was neat as a pin, nothing was out of place until you looked under sofas and chairs. She had so many books you would not believe. And she never got rid of any of them. And they were just tucked under sofas and things. So it's funny because you really don't know what you don't see.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah. Right. Right. And then you feel worse about your own space because what you see in someone else's is so beautiful and you think you're the worst. So I think that's what surprises me the most is people don't realize how normal they are. Yeah. Yeah. And it's okay. And they can make change.

Michele Folan:

Yeah. And I you're making a great point there is that if we have that realization, that self-awareness, then we can change. We can, we can move forward with different habits. My question then would be from your experience, how does chronic clutter affect mental health and stress levels then?

Tracy Hoth:

Oh, yeah. There's studies done. And what's so interesting, my sister just sent me this study last night, but that when women just think about clutter, their cortisol levels rise. And so imagine a steady ris too high, what's the right word, level of cortisol in your body and what that does to your health. And they said they've studied the brain and they see that women think about it and their cortisol levels rise and men don't. And so this article that my sister sent me was just talking about why is that? Is it just because women feel that the home is their responsibility still only, or that that's put upon them and that's why they think that? And so when they see that, a lot of it also has to do with our tolerance of clutter, what our level of tolerance is. So I think that if you had, there's men that have a lower tolerance for clutter because couples have called like we need help, and it's the man that can't stand the mess and the clutter. And so he's calling. I bet his level rises as well as a woman. So it's whoever is kind of responsible or wants it to be better.

Michele Folan:

And it seems like this becomes more charged in midlife. Is it because we have more stuff at that point in life?

Tracy Hoth:

I think transitions always affect clutter. And so I look at transitions in people's lives, and having a baby affects people because now all of a sudden they have so much more stuff. So they get behind, they have more laundry, they have more responsibilities, or moving affects people, or their parents' death and they're inheriting things. So all, or like a depression or divorce affects it. So all those things, and midlife is one of those where your role is changing and your kids that you focused on are leaving. And now what? Or you're moving, you're wanting to move now, you're cleaning up spaces that you haven't had time to think about previously. So it's that transition.

Michele Folan:

The cortisol thing is really interesting because we do talk about cortisol a lot, just being a health coach and and the fact that in midlife anyway, we tend to have more cortisol because as estrogen levels decline, our cortisol naturally increases. So, you know, and we need cortisol. It's our flight or fight hormone, but too much of it is you know a bad thing. So I'm I'm wondering then how living in constant chaos, or let's say visual chaos, how that impacts our nervous system and our energy and decision making. And how about procrastination? What have you seen?

Tracy Hoth:

Well, yeah, you pile all that stuff on top of each other. And that's why these women are like, I can't do it. I don't know what to do. It's too much, it's overwhelming. And then they freeze because they don't know what to do. And they also think of themselves now because they're looking at all this clutter. Maybe they've thought of themselves since childhood, some of them have, but they think of themselves as disorganized people now, and they have the visual proof to support that thought, and that just becomes ingrained in them. And then we don't outperform our own identity, like our own thoughts about ourselves. So you're kind of stuck in this spot and you don't know what to do.

Michele Folan:

You probably don't know where to start. You know, things get to a certain level and you're probably you just throw your hands up.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah. And then you think about and dramatize how long it's gonna take because it seems like it's gonna take a long time. And I've had these, I'm doing these 15-minute declutter sessions. And when people see, oh my, she did that in 15 minutes, a whole entire junk drawer, less than 15 minutes, and talking the whole time, then all of a sudden they're like, maybe it is possible. And they pick a space and they try it and they realize I've made this out to be such a big deal, or I just didn't know what to do. And I've let it sit there for two years. I've had people say, Tracy, I put this off for two years. And it literally, I could have started in 15 minutes. Well, and just so we make it seem like it's gonna take so much longer. When if we would just start with 15 minutes, we could make progress.

Michele Folan:

I was thinking, put on a good podcast like your podcast or my podcast. And then like, like just say, okay, I'm not, I can't stop cleaning out drawers until the podcast is over.

Tracy Hoth:

Yes, yes, designate a time. I think a lot of times too, just the practical step of putting it on the calendar. And I was even talking to a colleague who wasn't making the calls to connect with possible leads. And the thing that was stopping her was that she got to that appointment on her calendar because she did have an appointment, but she got to that point and then she was like, now who should I call? And she would start looking for who she would was to call. So I said, no, you need an appointment on Monday where you have the names that you're gonna do on Tuesday written in the calendar. So when you get that appointment on Tuesday, you know exactly what you're gonna do. And so that's what I think with organizing too. You're gonna decide your space and you're gonna put an appointment on the calendar with the space written in it. And when that time comes, now you have it on the calendar and you know exactly what to do and you follow my five steps, and then you know that you make progress.

Michele Folan:

I love that. Tracy, we're gonna take a quick break, and when we come back, I want to talk a little bit about identity, beliefs, and changes in midlife. Quick pause because if you're here, you already know this isn't just a health podcast. Yes, we talk about nutrition, strength, and taking care of your body in midlife, but we also talk about life, relationships, energy, boundaries, and what really matters in this season. This isn't about perfection or shrinking yourself. It's about staying strong, curious, connected, and actually enjoying the years ahead. If this resonates, share the episode with a friend who'd appreciate the conversation and follow us on Instagram at asking for a friend underscore pod. Okay, we are back. You talk about stepping into an organized identity. What does that mean?

Tracy Hoth:

So, like I said, we don't outperform our identity. So, whatever we think about ourselves. So, if we want to produce the result of having an organized home, we need to think of ourselves as organized people or as an organized person. So, an example of one of my clients, she could find evidence that she was organized. So, we talked about like where else are you organized? And she found it in the way she planned vacations. She found it in her job that she had had. She was very organized in all those places, just not in her house. And that stemmed from, and I don't know, it's it could be helpful for you to remember where that's from, but you now have proof and that you are an organized person. So the goal then is to remember what you think in that situation. What do you think about yourself? I love planning vacations. I'm very detail-oriented, I can make good decisions. It's super fun to get the result. And then you take those thoughts into your thoughts about being an organized person in your home and you start adding evidence to that. Every 15 minutes, you can add more evidence. Look, I know how to sort. Sorting is easy. It's putting like things with like things. You're gonna get better and better at sorting. I'm really good at sorting. And so you just keep adding the evidence to it. And now all of a sudden, you have an identity of an organized person. And because of that, you will create. It's inevitable that you will create an organized home.

Michele Folan:

Well, so what you're saying is you're not allowing people to say, Well, I'm just not organized. I just I've never been organized. So you're creating examples where they have been organized. Okay, I get it.

Tracy Hoth:

Yes, yes, because if they say that, that's what they'll create. And we don't want that. That's what has not worked for them all these years. Yeah, that's a self fulfilling. In prophecy.

Michele Folan:

Yeah. Many of my friends, and I'm sure many of our listeners here are starting to do the empty nesting, the downsizing. And there is this emotional attachment to things as kids leave the nest, right? Why is it so difficult to let go of kids' belongings, even when we logically know it's time?

Tracy Hoth:

One of the things when you were saying that was what does emotionally attached mean? Now, I know what we mean when we say it, but I like to define words and thoughts that we have. So if I say I'm emotionally attached to that, what exactly does it mean? And this is just out of curiosity, when we say it, what does it mean? Because we can look at emotionally attached, we can look at the word attached, like you're really not attached to it. We can start to separate the actual physical object. But I think it's even easier to say, okay, going forward, where am I going? What do I want my house to look like? What do I want to do for my kids? Like, do I want to give them 14 tubs of things that I claimed I was emotionally attached to? And then have to have them make decisions. Because I've been with people whose parents have dropped off some stuff for them and they are so mad at them because they're the ones that kept all that stuff for them. So there's so many angles to look at it, but I think knowing where you're going is helpful. And then really breaking it down like what is emotionally attachment mean in your mind, because it might not mean exactly as dramatic as we think it is. And then the other thing is choosing your favorites. When you don't have a favorite or a couple favorites, then nothing is special. Nothing is your favorite because you have all those things. So it can't really be your favorite. So choosing a couple things that are your favorites first is really helpful. And then looking at the rest of the stuff. Okay, well, what do I do I want to replace one of my favorites with this other object? No, that's not really as special. And then we can, it helps make the decisions a little bit easier when you're looking at things like that. And how am I going to honor that? Where am I going to put it versus it's just shoved in a box somewhere?

Michele Folan:

You're way nicer than I am. I would probably say you get to pick three things. Three things. And then that's it. And then you know, because well, we don't need to talk about my issues, but I am I hate clutter.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah. So you're the opposite, you're the one that throws it away and everyone's hiding it from you so that they don't get their stuff taken.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, pretty much. So I but but I have these bins, and I know I'm not the only one, so I'm gonna say this. I have these bins in the basement with my daughter's artwork and baby blankets and mementos from their first communion and you know, all of that stuff. And I have on multiple occasions said, Here, take your bins, take your bins. And my daughter's like, Oh, and they they gaslight me and they say, Oh, but don't you want that stuff? Like, no, you both own houses, you can take your stuff, right? So I think there's also that tug of war with your kids where you want them to take their mementos and their artwork because I think that's stuff that I feel like they would want to share with their future children. Right. You know, who am I gonna share that stuff with?

Tracy Hoth:

Right. And they're gonna get it eventually anyway. But that's like a fun activity to pull it out one time and just laugh through it together and make decisions together, possibly. But yes, again, of that tub, what would be the things that you would want to keep for yourself? And there's so many fun things to do, like with the artwork, you could send it in to the art company that makes a book. They like scan all that in and make a book. But do you want to spend money on that when the kid doesn't even care anyway and doesn't want the things?

Michele Folan:

I think they want them eventually. They just want me to like keep it for store them. Yeah. I'm bringing this up only because I know I am not the only one out there that is as dealing with this. Oh, 100%. And then you like, what's your advice when kids feel hurt that they no longer have their room in the downsized home?

Tracy Hoth:

Oh. There's where I'm more like you. I'm like, well, what do you expect? You're not living here anymore. You have your own room at your place. It's funny because I, when a kid moves out, even if they're just going away to college, I'll like clean out the whole room. Or when they I guess it's not, it's when they got their first apartment. I clean out the whole room like the next day. But I tell them, put everything that you want to keep in a bin, or I'll ask them, send photos if they haven't done it and put stuff in they they each have probably one or two memory bins that I will give to them. None of mine have a house yet, so I'm a little behind you. And then I will drive it over there and drop it off. But and then they can go through it. Then they can go through and get rid of whatever they want. All right, here's the other one.

Michele Folan:

Uh a friend of mine is downsizing, they're going from two homes to one, and they've got a ton of stuff. And many times we find that our kids don't want our stuff. Tastes have changed. You know, we we have all the china and the crystal and all that stuff we registered for when we got married in 1990. And our kids don't want it. And I think sometimes there's some hurt feelings there where you're like, well, what do you mean you don't want grandma's China?

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah. That could be the baseline is that they don't want it. Don't expect that your kids want anything. They have so much stuff, they have access to so much more than we had. And just expect that they're not gonna want anything. And if they do, that's just a nice bonus. But I like just communicating, text them and ask them, what of these things do you want? Is there anything in this room? I'm cleaning it out. Is there anything you'd want? And just see.

Michele Folan:

Yeah. I think it it can be super challenging. We're seeing more and more people go from two homes to one. I know, you know, people are, yeah, they they had the vacation home in Florida or whatever, and now they're like, uh, this is getting a lot. Let's just, you know, downsize. What challenges do you see come up the most with people that are trying to make it to one home?

Tracy Hoth:

Well, the big part of that that came up when you were saying that was somebody wants it. So if it's not your kids, just realize someone wants it and they need it. And maybe that feels better than feeling hurt that our kids don't want it, is that someone really wants it and needs it. And so it's just your job to find who needs it and wants it, which I don't think is that hard when you call a church or call a community or call a charity that you love and you want to support. They have a resale shop and you can support them, and it's such a beautiful thing. I even think dropping it off at the regular charity, there's people that go there to make a living by buying stuff and reselling it. And just to realize you are supporting people by donating your things all over in any of the places you could choose. Yeah.

Michele Folan:

Oh, I I I agree. I wanna, and I think that's a great point, by the way, because I know it's sometimes the hardest thing is when you're giving away your great aunt's China to a total stranger. And I know that can that can feel really odd sometimes. So yeah. I want to go back to the couples thing where you have couples trying to navigate, let's say, different clutter tolerances. How do we navigate that without damaging the relationship? Because I know this can be problematic for couples where one is super neat and the other one is not.

Tracy Hoth:

I think one of the helpful things you can do is define on a zone where clutter isn't allowed or where you you've agreed on it. So maybe the main level of your house, and then the clutter person gets to have the areas that they want to have the clutter. And another thing I just worked on with someone today was they spend a lot of energy getting upset because people leave stuff out, even though she's labeled bins and knows where things go. But the fact that people aren't putting it away in the correct spot is giving her a lot of spinning in emotion. And like it's taking a lot of energy. And so one of the things we talked about was you're really great at it. You could put stuff away in five minutes. Why don't you own that instead of spending the energy and the time thinking someone else should do it like you or as good as you or just do it, period. And then you own it. You sweep through the house and put everything away in 10 minutes. Like you could be so fast at that and spend 10 minutes versus three hours or two weeks being mad about it.

Michele Folan:

Oh, yeah. I mean, we can be mad, we can carry that stuff with us for days, days and days. I like your first suggestion because does anyone else have this happen where you're getting ready to make dinner, your husband comes home from work and throws all his shit all over the counter? Glasses, sunglasses, keys, wallet, whatever else is in his pockets, right it right where I'm cooking. And I'm going, you know what? And he he's like, Why are you moving my stuff? Because you put it right in the middle of the kitchen, but I'm the one that hates clutter. So I tuck it back into his his little corner in the kitchen where I can't really see it too much.

Tracy Hoth:

So he does have a designated place for it. Kinda, yeah. He just walks in and puts it down. Yeah. I think another big thing is to get buy-in from the other people. Like, do they want their stuff in that back spot? Is it better to have a bowl on the way to the kitchen where you could drop it? Like an easier place to drop it is to get the buy-in from them. Ooh. And just say, where would you want it to be?

unknown:

Yeah.

Michele Folan:

Tracy, you're giving me all these ideas. I mean, I find a cute bowl to put on the counter right inside the door where he can just put his stuff.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah, because I think if it's easy, we'll do it. It makes it so much better. But also, not that if you think it's easy, but he does and he's willing to try. I think we can always ask and request, but then not to spend more energy than if we were to just do it ourselves.

Michele Folan:

Yeah. All right. I have a friend who picks up her mail and it goes on the dining room table. So the dining room table essentially for the whole time she's lived in this house, has been basically the mail catcher. And I'm like, why do you do that? Why don't you just take your mail over to the kitchen garbage can? Because you know two-thirds of it is garbage anyway, and just throw it out that way, and then put your bills in a basket. And she just looking at me. I said, Well, I'm just trying to help you out here because every time I come over, you've got this huge pile of mail. Like, when do you go through that? I said, That would be more stressful to me. So, what other tips and tricks do you have for people that are struggling?

Tracy Hoth:

Well, and then what happens is those people that have those piles put it all in a bag when company's gonna come and shove it in the closet. And then, you know, they have 14 bags of stuff they have to go through, is what happens a lot. But with paper, I first of all, you always want to reduce what you're bringing in. So there is some resources to reduce that, going paperless, getting on a no send, you know, credit offers to me list. So there's that. And then there's also, I like to think of paper as a flow, like river, like a river. So it's coming into your house from different sources, and then it's flowing. Where is it gonna flow through the house? So hers obviously flows to the dining room table. Where how can she change that? Like you said, where is the recycle bin? Where is something easy so that it's on the way, that the river travels? And then noticing where the where the dam happens, where the things get backed up and then there's damage or it's overwhelming because you haven't done it in so long. And then where does it go temporarily? Where does it go permanently? And then how does it flow out of your house? So just to at least have that thought through and have a process in place. And then you just start practicing a little part of it at a time. Like get really good at throwing away junk mail before you set it down. And then the next month, get really good at deciding, making decisions earlier, or scheduling a time when you're gonna process those bills or things that take action. Oh, here's another one I just thought of. Ooh, you're you're having all the examples.

Michele Folan:

I know. And none of these are on my list of questions I was gonna ask you, but so hopefully I don't surprise you too much. I think there is electronic clutter that really impedes people. And I'm talking email and that sort of thing. What's a good strategy to get through an email inbox that is out of control?

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah. Well, again, I like to start by reducing what's coming in. So unsubscribing, just intensely unsubscribing from things so that you're not getting that many emails. Again, here's the thing: if you know where it is and you can find it when you need it, having 20,000 emails isn't necessarily a problem. If you can search your email and you can find it, then it's not a problem. Now, if you notice that's a problem and you don't want to experience that, then you could just take all of them and put them in an archive folder and then start fresh and start really being disciplined on unsubscribing and deleting emails. And then again, to have a system. So when there's an email that requires action from you, what happens? Is there a time set aside when you do it? Is there a folder you could put in it? And that's the action folder that you would go to when you have your appointment to process emails. So again, it's it's like with organizing, if it's not a problem, don't focus on it. If you can find what you need and you know what you have, if it is a problem, then it needs to be treated like a project where you schedule it. I'm gonna have a start date and an end date. And this is my plan to get through the project. And I'm gonna schedule that so I get it done. And then it's like freedom because you've intensely focused on something and now it's done versus it's just endless. Email's gonna go on forever, you know. Yeah, I've made 15 email, I've deleted 15 and I have 20,000. You know, it just seems endless. So going all in on a project and and looking at it that way, I think is really helpful.

Michele Folan:

Back when I was working in corporate world, I would at times go to my email, and if it's something that is three months or older, I would just go in and delete it. Yeah. Talk about freeing your soul.

Tracy Hoth:

Yes. You know, and you know, kind of nowadays, if someone needs something, they're gonna email you again. Exactly. Or they're gonna reach out to you. So it's not like most things are super important or detrimental if you deleted it.

Michele Folan:

Do you ever recommend that people get a storage unit?

Tracy Hoth:

Well, I think about what's the purpose because that storage unit, once you get it, it it doesn't go away easily. Pretty much is really hard to ever get rid of it if it's just for a regular purpose. Okay. So, no, I don't recommend unless it's for a purpose like we're moving and we're in an apartment for one year and you know, or we're having a house built or, you know, something like that where you need it. All right. I had to ask that.

Michele Folan:

I didn't know if that was kind of like a stopgap for someone that just had to get their house cleared out and it gave them an opportunity to have all the stuff in one place where they could then start to go through it.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah, the problem with that, I mean, that sounds exciting because they could get everything out of their house, but I think it doesn't take away the fact that you're still gonna have to make decisions and now everything's piled on top of everything else. And how are you gonna sort any of that? So it just makes it more challenging.

Michele Folan:

All right. And then what does it truly mean to leave a mess-free legacy for our children?

Tracy Hoth:

I think having decided where you're going and making sure everything that you keep is stuff that supports that life that you want. It's stuff you love, it's stuff you use, and that's it. And then if something were to happen, the legacy for your kids is that they're not spending so much time going through all this stuff that you didn't make decisions on. It's stuff that you never used, you thought might have been nice, or you spent money on it, but you never used it. They've never didn't even know you had it, and now they're having to make decisions. It just puts a big burden on them. And one of my clients recently said, you know, her father had passed, she cared, she was a caregiver for him, and he passed. And she, I was asking her if I can do anything. And she's like, Tracy, just please keep telling people, make sure you go through your stuff. It's already hard enough to take care of someone and to see them die, and then to have to go through all the stuff and make decisions and have so much more burden or pressure or things on you. So take the time. Now is the perfect time for you to start downsizing and making decisions and letting go of things.

Michele Folan:

I think that is really, really great advice. And I have a basement that needs to be gone through this winter. So that's my project because my daughters have already said, mom, don't leave us a ton of stuff. But because they saw us go through it, uh, my siblings and me when my mom passed away. And so I I hear that. And so I I think that is great reinforcement coming from you, Tracy Hoth.

Tracy Hoth:

Yes. Well, and I think too, if think of it as a gift to yourself. Like this is a gift, it's a weight off your own shoulders as you're going through that stuff. And if it's Easier to think of it like if we had to move, I want my house to have everything. All I would do is pack it because I know everything in it is stuff that I love and use. Now I'm not there. That's what I'll be doing in Organized Life Academy this year. I am going to be going through each room as I assign, you know, the space for the month. I'm going to be going through that the same way, but I'm looking at it this year as I might move. I might want to move. And if I do, I want my house to be ready to stage it. I want it to be staged and ready to sell. And all I have to do is pack the things that I love that I know I'm taking with me.

Michele Folan:

See, I have a husband that is a pack rat would be, I think, applicable. He is a sentimental guy and he has a lot of memory stuff. He collections. He was Iron Man. So he's he got like all of his ribbons and trophy stuff and you know pictures back when he was playing ice hockey when he was 14. And that stuff's like super important to him. But he's there's tons of it down there in the basement.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah. And if it's packed up in a tub and that's his, and that's fine. Like I notice a lot of times, like I have another couple I'm working with, and she focuses a lot on what he's not doing, and he focuses a lot on what she's not doing. And I'm like, why don't y'all just focus on yourselves? Get your own stuff done, you know. But so I think that's kind of fun. Like once you've gone through everything you have control over that you would make decisions on, I think they're they'll be a little inspired.

Michele Folan:

All right. There is a bin, and it's a very large bin, Tracy, of old electronics and cords, like old HDMI cords and coaxial cable kind of stuff. Yeah. No one's ever gonna use that stuff again. And men traditionally will say, Oh, we never know for if if you know we'll need that for something. I just think it's one of those they just feel overwhelmed and they don't want to go through it just to dig out the one or two things in there that maybe still be usable because that stuff changes and yeah, with new technology and everything. Right. So now you got a fire lit under me, and I'm I'm we're we're pulling that stuff out this winter and we're gonna get through it because I really do want to get through some things.

Tracy Hoth:

Well, in that kind of stuff, I think it's gotten a lot easier. I've noticed families are able to let go of things like that more than they ever have in the past because it's so easily accessible. You can go on Amazon, find any cord you want, and have it delivered overnight. So if you were to give away something that you needed, you wouldn't regret it, I'm pretty sure. And when is the last time you went into that bin to get a cord? Oh, never. So I think there's you can take that cord to I I don't know for sure. You'd have to call and see, but at one point you could take cords to recycle, like at Best Buy or Electronics to recycle and just get rid of the whole thing. Don't even have to go through it.

Michele Folan:

But I mean you might want to, but yeah, we need we do definitely need to find how to recycle that stuff because I don't want that stuff in a landfill. But all right, you are also the host of the Organized Coach Podcast. What inspired you to start a show and who is the show for specifically?

Tracy Hoth:

Well, the organized coach podcast started back when I was shifting a little bit and helping more business owners get organized. And so a lot of it is business focused and it can be any business. It's just anyone with digital organization that needs help. So I teach how to organize your digital files, how to organize your time and your systems and all of that. But I also, for the last six years, have had a side of my business where I help women in the later half of life organize their home. So I do talk a lot about home organization, just personal life organization on the podcast. So I have listeners that are both business owners and regular people, I call homeowners.

Michele Folan:

But you don't go into people's homes anymore, but you did start that way, correct?

Tracy Hoth:

Yes, I did that for many years until finally in 2023, I was still doing it while I had my online business. And I decided, okay, I'm done.

Michele Folan:

Yeah. And so when you're coaching people virtually, can you can you get a pretty good sense of what you're dealing with?

Tracy Hoth:

Yes, they can send pictures. I had someone this morning just send me pictures, and it's so good to see actual pictures and take videos and show me videos. So I do a lot of that type of thing. And we do a lot on what's your plan? How's it working on your calendar? What are you doing or not doing and why? So we look a lot at the mindset and what they're believing and make shifts that they need to let go of things. There's just so many aspects of creating a clutter-free home that you can definitely do online. But we make a plan, and that's their plan, is and we see why they're following their plan or not following their plan. All right.

Michele Folan:

For someone listening who feels really overwhelmed right now, what's the simplest place to start?

Tracy Hoth:

Well, I would say for sure, go get the 15-minute declutter challenge. It's at simplysquared away.com forward slash declutter. And in that, I show you the five steps to organizing. They spell the word space, and you pick one small area, you set your timer, and you sort. Whenever I'm overwhelmed, the first step to organizing is always just to sort. So as far as where to start and picking the area, that's not as important. Pick the one that creates the most friction. Pick the one that would make you the happiest if you had it organized. Pick the smallest one so you get a good win. Whatever the reason is, that's not as important as sorting. The first thing you do in that area is to sort. Because then you have like with like, and you're not making big decisions right in the beginning. You don't make those until you have a category. And then you can look at it and say, again, what's my favorite? What do I use all the time here? And then you can go to the next, you know, other questions after that.

Michele Folan:

All right. Tracy Hoth, where can the listeners find you and your coaching?

Tracy Hoth:

Yes, my website is simply squaredaway.com and everything is on there. And again, the 15-minute challenge and my podcast are probably the best places to get to know me.

Michele Folan:

Perfect. Tracy Hoth, thank you so much. I'm I'm looking forward to digging into my basement this winter and um I'll reach out and I'll let you know how it goes.

Tracy Hoth:

Yes, Michelle, isn't it fun when you talk about it? You all of a sudden get so motivated whenever I'm working with someone. I'm like, I gotta get out of here. I gotta go do that in my own house. Yeah. And so it gets you, it keeps you motivated. That's why I think get the support you need to stay motivated.

Michele Folan:

And I think it's also making promises to yourself and keeping those promises.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah.

Michele Folan:

Because the payoff is huge with that peace of mind.

Tracy Hoth:

Yeah, for sure.

Michele Folan:

Thanks for being here today. Thanks for having me, Michele. Before you go, thank you for being here. If you want to go a little deeper, make sure you check out the show notes for this episode. That's where I link anything we mentioned, resources, partners, or tools I actually use and trust. And if you're not already on the Asking for a Friend community newsletter, that's where I share practical midlife tips, favorite finds, recipes, and the things that don't always make it onto the podcast or Instagram. You'll find the link to join in the show notes. Take care, and I'll see you next week.