Asking for a Friend - Health, Fitness & Personal Growth Tips for Women in Midlife

Ep.133 Midlife Self-Care: Melissa Crook on Empowerment, Community, and Weight Loss After 50

• Michele Henning Folan • Episode 133

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This enriching episode is dedicated to all women over 50, especially during the busy holiday season, offering self-care strategies that go beyond luxury to focus on nurturing your emotional and mental well-being. Join me as I chat with my dear friend and client, Melissa Crook, the inspiring founder of Embracing Layers Network and host of the Feel podcast. Together, we emphasize that self-care is not about pampering—it’s about practicing self-acceptance and setting boundaries, especially as we age and balance the demands of life.

Melissa’s journey is a powerful reminder of the importance of putting yourself first. She has dedicated her life to empowering women to reclaim their joy through self-care, and challenges societal norms that too often place others' needs above our own.

In this episode, we explore how Melissa turned her passion for storytelling into a thriving community that uplifts women of all ages. From her Feel podcast and internet radio show to engaging YouTube panels and a groundbreaking book, she has created platforms that amplify diverse voices and celebrate the strength of women. Through these spaces, Melissa has fostered a sense of belonging, helping women create meaningful connections that support their personal transformation. These conversations are more than inspiring—they are an essential part of self-care that enriches your life and strengthens your relationships.

We also dive into the health and fitness challenges that come with midlife, offering practical tips and science-backed advice. Melissa opens up about her personal health journey, sharing how she’s navigated prediabetes and weight gain, and how she has embraced tools like the Faster Way program to make sustainable changes. We share insights on adapting your nutrition and fitness goals to support your evolving body and lifestyle, including the power of macro-based eating, weightlifting, and finding a balance that works for you.

Tune in for valuable, actionable advice to help you thrive in the vibrant years beyond 50, and empower yourself with the self-care strategies that allow you to live your healthiest, happiest life.

You can find Melissa Crook, her podcast, and book at:
https://www.embracinglayers.com/

Send us a text

_________________________________________
Are you ready to reclaim your midlife body and health? I went through my own personal journey through menopause, the struggle with midsection weight gain, and feeling rundown. Faster Way, a transformative six-week group program, set me on the path to sustainable change. I'd love to work with you! Let me help you reach your health and fitness goals.
https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=MicheleFolan

Have questions about Faster Way? Feel free to reach out.
mfolanfasterway@gmail.com

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Michele Folan:

Health, wellness, fitness and everything in between. We're removing the taboo from what really matters in midlife. I'm your host, iMhelle Folan, and this is Asking for a Friend. On the podcast. We often talk about the importance of self-care, and I think we can all agree that it's essential. But let's be honest as we navigate the busy lives we lead, it's easy to forget to make ourselves a priority. Self-care doesn't always have to mean a trip to the salon, a visit to the gym or even a spa day, though those things are wonderful when we can make time for them. Sometimes the most powerful form of self-care is learning how to manage daily stress and choosing to focus on what truly nourishes us emotionally and mentally. It can be as simple as spending more quality time with friends and family, laughing, chatting or just being present with those who lift us up. Or it could be about showing ourselves some much-needed love and care through self-acceptance, embracing who we are at this stage of life, with all the wisdom, strength and beauty that comes with it. Self-care for women over 50 is about honoring our well-being in ways that feel right to us, not as a task to check off, but as an act of love and respect for ourselves.

Michele Folan:

I'm thrilled to welcome today's guest back to the podcast. Especially as we head into the holiday season, it's so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of festivities, shopping and family gatherings, often neglecting our own well-being in the process. Melissa Crook is founder of the Embracing Layers Network and also host of the Feel podcast. She is a passionate advocate for self-care and for embracing the many complex layers that come with being a midlife woman. She's not just a guest, but she's also a dear friend and a client of mine, and I'm so excited to have her here today to share her insights. I know this is going to be a great conversation. You're going to love this. Melissa Crook, welcome back to Asking for a Friend.

Melissa Crook:

Hi, Michele. It's so good to be back here with you. I love doing these with you. I always feel like we can talk forever.

Michele Folan:

I know, and often Melissa and I do end up talking forever, particularly when we get on what's supposed to be a 15 to 20-minute call sometimes and we end up talking for an hour. So we do have the gift for gab, which I guess is why we're both podcasters. But I would love for you to really dive into who you are and what you're doing with your Embracing Layers Network, because I really want to start there. But let's start with family details first and where you live.

Melissa Crook:

Yeah, I am a partner to my wonderful husband of over 31 years, brady, and we live in Fresno, California, currently. We've lived all over the country, currently in Fresno. His job has taken us on a lot of different adventures. We have three grown daughters. One is married, one has a partner and the other one is a recent graduate from college. So officially they're all out in the world and doing their thing throughout different spaces throughout the country as well. Excited to have them all together at Christmas this year. We weren't together last year, so super excited for that. I'm a big sports fan.

Melissa Crook:

Nice, yeah, I can't wait, I love this time of year, love the holidays, and I actually talked about that last week. I released a video last week on a radio show on our network that talked about setting healthy boundaries so that you can enjoy the holidays, because nothing breaks my heart more than to hear a woman say, oh, I hate this time of year. It's so stressful and all that. I'm like, oh, they've lost the joy of it and that's something I love.

Melissa Crook:

I'm a big sports fan, love college football, nfl football, college basketball, baseball track. I love the Olympics. I'm a sports junkie. You're a dude's dream, I am, oh no. That was part of when Brady and I got married. His brother was the best man and you and I were aging ourselves, but David Letterman used to have a top five on his late night show, and so that was very big when we were, you know, early 90s, when we got married and Casey had a top five for his speech and one of them was that Melissa knows as much or more about sports than Brady and he can call her and ask her what was on ESPN today.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, that's awesome. I mean men like that. If you want to hang out on the couch, on it every Sunday, right yeah, which we do and apologetically so love, that love to travel.

Melissa Crook:

We just got back from a trip in Ireland just a little over a month ago, really digging into my husband's background and family history. His mom was 100% Irish, but looking forward to more travel now that the kids are grown and gone. But my passion that has been with me gosh for as long as I can remember is my passion for women and my passion for women to be well, to be heard, to have a voice, and so things that I've done in my life have always been in some way informed by that. Whatever path I was on I mean this current path I've been on for a little over three years now is really birthed out of that, my own experience as a woman and what I realized myself and other women, much like you have found out, were going through that we weren't talking about that was impacting our health and wellness. You know how we weren't prioritizing ourselves, because we have been basically given a script since we were very, very young little girls about how we show up for everyone else and then ourselves, because doing anything any differently was selfish, and what I found is women. Time and time again we were running into a wall with various health challenges, whether it's mental health, emotional health, physical health, all the above that weren't being dealt with, that weren't being prioritized, and so no one was no one's winning. In that, you know, when you put that metric together, no one wins. In that, you know we don't win when we don't value ourselves and fill our cup. The people that were around were in a relationship don't win because they're getting a half version, a crabby version, an irritable version, you know, of us. I mean, there's just so many pieces.

Melissa Crook:

And so I started looking at what my daughters were doing to create a different life for themselves, based on what they'd seen in myself and the generations before them. I started looking at my own journey of like. On paper I should be really happy and content, but I'm not. Why? What's why? And then you know that actually led up to in when we moved a previous move that we had made to Lubbock, Texas. When my husband worked for Texas Tech, I ended up in the ER twice in a two week period, with high blood pressure, racing heart rate, bladder control issues, and none of it was related. After a bunch of tests and all kinds of things looked at in my body. They're like other than the fact that you're perimenopausal new word no one had told me about before and got some hormone stuff going on. Yeah, there's nothing really physically seriously wrong with you, but there was years of it, but you were really experiencing a health crisis.

Michele Folan:

I was.

Melissa Crook:

This was serious stuff. I thought I was having a heart attack. I mean, like my blood pressure was through the roof, my heart rate was through the roof. My heart rate was through the roof and it was like headed bladder just dropping, like having some really extreme responses in my body, and so it was like what in the world is going on here? And so my husband was like I think you need to maybe take a look at getting back into some therapy. You've got a good friend and partner not good, good, not good partner anxiety that has accompanied you on our journey For most of our time together now that you might want to dig into a little more. And I was like what do you mean? I'm not anxious, there's a lot to be worried about in the world and I've got to take care of things.

Michele Folan:

And he's just like, like I said, I think that maybe trust me on this one, honey. Yeah, trust me babe.

Melissa Crook:

I love you, but I think we got to address this for real this time and you know, I think, what you know. So I got into therapy and I started seeing a holistic doctor to get some just some ideas and insights on what was the why. I wanted to know what was happening in my body and started that journey and then, over time, realized I'm not the only one going through this. There's so many other women that are hitting these walls, that are having these diagnoses or symptoms or things they can't put a finger on, and we've got to start talking about it, whether it's menopause, perimenopause periods, postpartum depression or sexual health. I mean, we talk about all these topics.

Melissa Crook:

My goal is we're going to create a safe space for women to have the conversations that we've been told historically not to have because they aren't appropriate, they make people uncomfortable, they're not nice, and so that you know, that birthed really the idea in 2021 of, like I can talk you and I talked about this earlier. I'm going to. Just, I know a lot of women across the country and we're going to start having these conversations. We have to for our own health and well-being, because what I discovered in the therapy and the time I started finally spending on myself? Was my nervous system finally got the cue that it was safe to unload some of these things? The kids were mostly gone either off the college or out of the house. It was just Brady and I in a move for the first time in 25 years and there was space and my system was finally ringing the alarm bells that it was time to pay attention and service it in the way she needed to be serviced.

Michele Folan:

So let me ask you a question when you started doing the podcast was this therapeutic for you to have these conversations with women?

Melissa Crook:

Absolutely. Like we came up with talking points that really helped me in my journey. You know we came up and kind of nailed down some things in combination. We've had talks in our family my daughters, my husband, my son-in-law like what are the things that we've really honed in on during the pandemic, ironically, when we started paying attention to our health and had more downtime to really focus in on some things and we nailed down prioritizing self-care, healthy boundaries, connecting emotional, physical, mental health, figuring out what our why was and are we living by our own why, our own values, our own expectations or somebody else's script, and using all that as a means to get us to the point where we could really embrace all of our layers and so use that as a script, partly to keep me within less than three-hour episodes, but also because these were the very real things that became evident to me and I cannot tell you the conversations that I have had and the women I have learned from and their experiences that they finally got to feel seen and heard and safe to talk about this stuff, like we're not alone in this. And it became about creating community in these conversations which led us a year and a half ago to not only have the field podcast but to create this network where we have an internet radio show. I'm going to be hosting panel conversations on YouTube talking about these topics.

Melissa Crook:

We have a book. You know, not everybody wants to listen to a podcast. Not everybody wants to listen to a podcast. So we took our first four seasons based on a recommendation that we received from people respected people in the podcast world. Like you've got all of the info here, take it to another medium. Get it to those women who maybe don't know about a podcast, but they'll read a book or it gives people a way to engage with the information more personally. So we did that.

Melissa Crook:

We launched our book in September. We're in a book club right now with a group of women who bought it via pre-sales and getting to walk through that with them. I'm starting to do public speaking on the topics, realizing through these conversations how edifying and like it's such a relief for women to hear that they're not alone in this and it's such a relief for women to hear that there's a place and space that they can come have these conversations. It's also a place and space for women to learn about other women's journeys and the varying layers that exist within them, because we have a collective of women and then we have all of the layers of being a woman within that, based on socioeconomic status, where you live in the world, your faith background, your ethnic background, all these factors that feed into those narratives of what impacts our journey. And so, yeah, that was a really long answer, surprise, surprise for me.

Michele Folan:

I think it's important to point out too that, even though I think we are talking about these topics more often, I've got this going on, or you know I'm really stressed about this, or I've got anxiety and you don't want to be that person and this platform. I think you know when we can host these topics, it gives people some time to listen and say, okay, I can identify with that.

Melissa Crook:

Yeah for sure. I mean, I think that's really what we're trying to create. Yeah for sure, yeah.

Michele Folan:

So how has doing the podcast opened up doors in your life? Oh my gosh.

Melissa Crook:

The women, including you, that I have met through this platform of connecting and having honest guests and being a guest and hosting panel conversations with you know, we did an internet radio show this last year and it'll wrap up at the end of December and made a one-year commitment to it and I learned so much from it and it just increased the volume of women that I could bring together to have these conversations. I have a whole group, a whole community of women now that I can tap into for support, for insight. I can bring their voices on my platforms to share with other women that I can't imagine my life without, that I would have never had had I not gone down this road, and it has been life-changing for me, and I mean when I think about the impact on myself. I just even can't even imagine my life in this moment in time without the relationships that have been created through doing this work.

Michele Folan:

Well, and I think this is also a form of self-care, and what I try to tell people is that those connections, that community that you have built around your network, your family indirectly benefits from that too. Absolutely, because mom feels more whole, right, mom feels whole, mom feels good, mom has this outlet and we all get to benefit because mom is happy and, you know, is loving life. So I think there's just something to pursuing those things, and it doesn't have to be starting a podcast or writing a book, but doing things that light us up, that can really have an impact on our everyday. So, melissa, we're going to take a quick break here and I want to talk about your form of self-care. When we get back.

Michele Folan:

As 2025 approaches, human nature and tradition prompts us to start looking ahead at goals for the new year. We tend to gravitate toward health goals, many of which may have been on the list for 2024. But that's okay. This year can be different, maybe if we have an option that caters to the changing needs of midlife women that is not only effective with macro-based nutrition and daily 30-minute workouts for any fitness level, but science-backed methods that are sustainable. It's called Faster Way.

Michele Folan:

Let's take away the fear of failing one more diet, buying the supplements that didn't work, or having the same New Year's resolutions year after year. Are you ready to commit to you? Make this the sweetest gift that you give yourself this year? My next round starts January 6th, so you can get ahead of the game with free access through the new year by signing up now. If you have questions, please reach out. See the show notes for details. All right, melissa, we're back Speaking of self-care. You decided to get some health coaching and I'm proud of you for that, and I'm curious what the driver was in seeking a program to work on your health and fitness.

Melissa Crook:

Well, I was finding that I'd made a lot of changes and I'd done a lot of things, but I was finding that my body was not responding the same way. I mean, I was eating relatively healthy, I was moving my body every day avid Walker, you know, had in recent years been a cardio junkie. My hips got to a point where, like probably not pounding the pavement with running anymore, so really became a super avid Walker. And yoga, stretching, pilates, different kinds of things especially the yoga and the walking were my big ones that I'd moved to. Just that felt like it was more edifying to my body but also had a mental and spiritual component to it. And within that, doing these practices and feeling like I was doing the right things, I was continuing to gain weight and I'd never, like I wasn't a person that I've not had a weight problem like ever. Like for years. I started slowly seeing the shifts in my body, probably eight years ago, 10 years ago, but nothing, you know, too major, just a few things here and there. I'm like, oh, my body's composition's changing, I'm getting older, whatever, but it was really the last, probably two to three years. I'm like what is happening? I look at something and I'm gaining weight.

Melissa Crook:

I also realized I wasn't, you know, I was trying to find ways to pay attention to portions, thought I'd found a solution. It worked for a while but then it didn't. I mean, I just couldn't find that thing. And I was, you know, borderline diabetic on my you know my readings when I got my blood work done, which even my doctor was like this just doesn't add up for, I mean, whether you're a lifestyle, but try this, try that. But no answers that were getting me. And I knew that you had started doing this program because you and I have talked a lot over the last over a year, probably close to a couple of years now, about changes in our body and what was happening. And I knew you had started this program and I knew you were seeing great results and I kept hearing you talk about it and I thought about this for like more than three months, maybe closer to six months, before I approached you and said I want to try this with you.

Melissa Crook:

I mean, I you'd started being a coach for it. I'm like this seems to be working for her and I need to figure out. And it seemed it felt doable, right, I didn't have to go get a gym membership. I didn't have to buy their food, I could just grocery shop and I felt like I needed like a guide. I needed something to tell me what to eat, because what I was telling myself wasn't working. So I'm like, just tell me what to eat and tell me how to move. I just that's all I want to know, because something's not working in my strategy here and it's driving me crazy. And so that was really the and I'm like and I've got to get. I need to. I don't like where some of these markers are. I mean, I don't like. And diabetes runs in my family. My dad's a diabetic I had. I was always borderline when I was pregnant. I was always that person that wasn't quite congenital or whatever that's called when you have diabetes when you're pregnant.

Michele Folan:

Gestational diabetes. Gestational, thank you, that word.

Melissa Crook:

And I was always right there. I always had to drink the nasty thick orange stuff to get tested, so there was some things. Yeah, it was gross If you've had to do this. You thick orange stuff to get tested, so there was some things. Yeah, it was gross If you had to do this. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, so, knowing that those tendencies were already within my family's history and makeup, just like I got to get on this.

Michele Folan:

And so yeah, and I will say this, Melissa, that the propensity for women to be walking around with prediabetes is very, very common. It's asymptomatic, you won't know you've got prediabetes, but they'll be able to tell with a fasting blood sugar. So I would just make sure everybody is asking for those types of tests when you are even at your GYN appointments, because many of us use our GYN as our primary care physician. So just want to make sure people are asking for the you know, a fasting blood sugar, because those are important markers to pick up early.

Melissa Crook:

Yeah, and I would never know about that. There's nothing in my body telling me that's happening. So I'm glad you said that, because it's one of those secrets. It's a secret till it's not a secret, you know. And then so so many times women find out about this too late because they don't even know to ask for it, right?

Michele Folan:

And so you ultimately chose Faster Way, and I am curious, though, what obstacles you had at the beginning, because certainly it is change right. We're changing up, kind of how you're eating, maybe the types of body movement that you're doing. What were your first impressions going in those first six weeks?

Melissa Crook:

Hard and especially I don't love to cook. I don't want to be in the kitchen. I want to be in the kitchen as little as possible. But I also knew that I needed to really follow this to the T to get the results I wanted to get. So I found basically a six-week window in my schedule that I felt like I could really nail down, the first six weeks before my life would pick up into a more not as much stability in terms of time at home and to prep meals and do those kinds of things, and so I timed it intentionally in that space where I knew I had a chance to succeed.

Melissa Crook:

I was seeing I was losing inches quickly. Now I will say my weight and this is what you have. I think we have to really remember, as women, weight loss doesn't tell the whole story. And so I wasn't seeing a lot of weight loss, but I was seeing inches, like I was seeing changes in my body composition, in just. I was just. I was like almost immediately enough to kind of I like okay, this is working, this is taking effect. I just need to stay with it. Over time you figure out what works.

Melissa Crook:

I had never worked with the macros before, like tracking my macros. It took me two or three, maybe four weeks to really figure out how that correlated and what worked in my body within that. So, having those meals early on, I don't follow it to a T, I use it as a guide to give me a. You know, I'm four months into this now. I use the meals as a guide Some I use, some I don't but it gives me an idea of like, okay, these are the kinds of things I need to factor into my diet today, but those first. I followed it to a T because I knew I needed that discipline. I needed that refiguring, that restructuring to make sure I was getting the right amount of proteins, the right amount fats, the right macros.

Michele Folan:

I needed to get my macros in alignment, yeah, but that first four weeks was hard and I will say this is that for people listening I will do my best to always meet you where you are. So if you don't like to cook at all, then we'll make some adjustments or, you know, I'll have you make extra at dinner so that you have it for lunch the next day. Some people won't want to do the whole meal prepping thing on Sundays. I get that I don't meal prep, but there are some strategies that if you're not comfortable in the kitchen, we can make this pretty easy. And the meals are, I think, pretty simple. They're family friendly.

Melissa Crook:

Yeah, yeah, you can adjust like you can make enough for your partner, your kids, if you have. They give you options on that. I just am like I would say what is the easiest thing to do Grab out and do it. My husband does a lot of the cooking, but with his work schedule I was doing more of it and do it. My husband does a lot of the cooking, but with his work schedule I was doing more of it. So let's preface this with I am your least likely person to find in the kitchen.

Michele Folan:

At least she's honest about it, guys. Yeah, yeah, but that's okay. And the other thing that I want to point out too, which I think is important, is you were gone a lot this summer, so you had these trips. You were all over the place in the US and then you go to Ireland. Tell me a little bit about how you were able to maintain some semblance of the program while you were traveling.

Melissa Crook:

It was really good timing. Like I said earlier, I timed this accordingly so I could get into. I could get an idea and get comfortable with what my, what my macros should look like. That was the I will go back to that. Like no one had ever talked to me about it, I didn't understand how to read them the first couple of weeks. Four weeks in, I have my first trip. I understand my macros. So all of a sudden I'm like, oh, and I understand what fills those macros properly. So it helped me to have an idea of. I had snacks with me that I knew were going to be good quick hitters protein bars, nuts, things I could grab as I was in the airport, yogurt like Greek yogurt with berries. You know things that I'm like it might not be perfectly what's in the menu today if I had looked at my app, but it fills those needs, it fills those gaps. So I had a menu of things I knew in my head I could work with.

Melissa Crook:

I also was very consistent with my movement the whole time. Like I got on the first trip, I got my workouts in almost every day. I just did them in the hotel room or the weight room where I was at, I was very like. My diet might not be spot on, but I'm going to get these workouts in. On my trip to Ireland, I've got a lot of steps in. I probably only did the workouts one or two days, but we walked 10,000 to 15,000 steps every day. So at that point, when I went on the trip, I had probably lost five or six pounds in an inch and a half or so. And I did not gain anything on either of those trips. Nothing lost in it, even though I wasn't hitting all the things all the time I was at home because I continued to move and because I understood at that point the kinds of foods that were going to affect my macros in what way I was. The balance of those things allowed me to maintain and allowed me to.

Melissa Crook:

I pretty much going across Ireland really didn't restrict, and this is that's the other thing. This is not what I. This is not a restrictive way of life and it's not a diet. It's a way of life. It's a way of moving your body. It's a way of eating and paying attention to your macros to make sure you're getting enough of the right things in your body. It's not a calorie counter, it's a calorie getting the right things in your body. It's not a calorie counter, it's a calorie getting the right kind of calories and right, you know that kind of a thing.

Melissa Crook:

But the travel piece, yeah it was. So if you're going to start it like, really pay attention those first. Even you know you've got some trips coming that that doesn't have to derail you if you have enough basic ideas on. And then I then I came back from Ireland. I got on the scales. I was like oh my God, I stayed exactly the same and I ate and drank whatever I wanted for 12 days. But I moved my body like so much every day that it helped to kind of counteract and I think my body had reset enough at that point too. It was starting to respond, even just from a metabolic standpoint.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, and you and I talked about, when you started the program, the workouts. You were having some issues because of dehydration and your electrolytes and that sort of thing, and we got that dialed in. Yeah, the one thing too, with the workouts add salt to your water, which we, you know, we tell everybody to do that, particularly in the morning, first thing in the morning. But with the workouts, with the three people up there doing the workouts at different levels, do you find that makes it easier to be comfortable doing things that you haven't done before?

Melissa Crook:

percent. I think that's one of the best things. I've never participated in a program that had options to meet you where you are and you still get a good workout in. I mean I'm getting closer now that I've been doing this I mean it's mid-November and I've been doing this since late July I'm getting closer now to being able to do the regular, like what the person in the middle is doing. But I still have to do some of the things that the other options are and sometimes the better options are just based on the materials I have with me.

Melissa Crook:

You know, when I traveled another thing I just took my band with me. I had a band that I could use in lieu of weights, so if I didn't have weights access, I could still use that. Sometimes the bands are just better. I have a shoulder issue. Sometimes the bands or different things or doing things a different way are just better. You still get a really good workout and you don't feel like, oh, there's not that discouragement of, oh, I can't do this. You can always complete a workout when you're able to combine those other things and they do a good job of like this is not a fail. This is not. You didn't make the B team. You know, if you're doing this, this is meeting your body where you are, and you're still going to get a great benefit out of it. Yeah, and the fun thing about it is, as you go along I told Michelle this last week I can do things now that I couldn't do three months ago. That's a big like fun thing to kind of watch your progress too, as you're like, oh, I've always had to do this exercise for this, but oh my gosh, now I can do even if it's just one round, like if you're doing the circuits and you can do one of three. So it's a great way too to kind of see where your strength is changing and your balance is. You know that's a big part of it too, but yeah, that's really helpful.

Melissa Crook:

How are your clothes fitting now? I definitely notice a difference in my clothes, especially my shirts, some of my pants. I've noticed it first in my gut, and that was so you and I talked about this. I noticed this yesterday, so it's great timing. You and I talked about like what is this back roll thing? I have? My back roll is gone. I don't have a back roll anymore, and that is like fantastic, I know the back roll is gone and if you, if you're a midlife lady, you're gonna know what we're talking about here.

Melissa Crook:

The middle is where everything goes, it seems like, when our bodies start changing. So, yeah, tops are fitting better, bras and sports bras aren't as tight. My workout like pants and shorts aren't as tight. I'm just feeling stronger also and, mind you, I'm between that nine and 11 pound range right now, but I've lost three inches around my middle. So I've lost three inches around my middle. I noticed it in my face and I'm just I'm not. I don't fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon. You know everybody talks about that two, 30 to four where everybody gets kind of dozy. I'm not having. That's not happening anymore. So I'm noticing in multiple places I haven't had like drastic size changes, but the things I'm wearing just fit better, fit better and I feel better in them.

Michele Folan:

And that's why we tell people you know you can weigh yourself, but it's really going to show up more in the inches and by looking at before and after pictures. It's because we all know that muscle weighs more than fat. So part of this program is we want you to lose body fat, but we want you to gain lean muscle, and the point of gaining the lean muscle is muscle is what drives your metabolism, and when we go into menopause and our estrogen declines, so does our muscle mass, and we lose muscle mass slowly but surely over, you know, year over year, and so we're having to eat more protein, we're having to lift weights, all in an effort to build up some of that lean muscle that we've lost. So and I think that's what Melissa is saying here is that even though she's lost maybe nine to 11 pounds, it's showing up in different ways. So I appreciate you explaining, like how that's been different for you from what you've done in the past.

Michele Folan:

So, yeah, that's, that's awesome, makes me very happy. Yeah, so you said you're feeling better. Are you sleeping better?

Melissa Crook:

Um, the sleep is something I'm still figuring out. The sleep issue hit me a couple of years ago. I'm still figuring it out and I think there's you know, yeah, so that it's not worse, it's just kind of the same, except for the fact that I'm not falling asleep in the afternoon anymore. That's a big change, like, and I was, I would literally that's a big change, and so I, from that standpoint, absolutely, and I'm falling asleep at more regular times of the night. There's very rarely a time now where I'm getting to like 11, 30, 12 o'clock and I just can't fall asleep. Yet I'm falling asleep at more, and I think it's just the way I'm moving my body and the way I'm feeling. And also the key part of this too is I'm done eating at minimum tune, usually three to four hours before I go to bed, so my body's not still metabolizing, you know, and processing and moving things through. So I think you know.

Melissa Crook:

Something else that's really important here is the span of time I think really helps in how you eat, not just from a macro standpoint but from a timing standpoint of I will go 16 hours without eating, starting at, call it on average, 6.30 in the morning usually, and I usually eat my first meal around or 6.30 in the evening, sorry. And then I usually eat my first meal around or 6.30 in the evening, sorry. And then I usually eat my first meal around 10.30. Right, and then I'll eat my meals between 10.30 and that 6.30. And that works for me. I work from home, so I'm fortunate that way I haven't had to, you know I'm able to. That really helps me, like stay on track.

Melissa Crook:

But I also have a work, and my husband's work, where we're out in the public a lot. We're out at a lot of dinners, we're out at a lot of lunches, we entertain at football suites for the university he works at. And so I've talked a lot about Michelle, about that, about that power of knowing my macros and also tracking what I'm eating up to that point. So by the time I get to that dinner or that lunch, I'll either eat something before I go or have a like a snack or protein bar or something on the road with me, and then I kind of have an idea when I get there of what. Okay, this is where I've got room. I've still got room for X amount of carbs, x amount of fat, x amount of fiber, x amount of protein. So that enables me to kind of look at what's in front of me. It's not perfect, but it is an informer of that. But that time span, I think, is very key.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, and so this is what I try to tell everybody. This is what makes this a lifestyle and not a diet, because you can go out to dinner, you can go to the tailgate, you can do all of that. It's just being mindful of okay, well, that's got protein, I'm going to eat that. Oh, that's got a little bit of carbohydrate, I'll have that. It just makes you more aware about what you're putting in your body. There's always going to be the birthday, the celebration, the trip, absolutely, and so you just don't have to overthink it.

Michele Folan:

And the other thing is when my clients are telling me well, I don't really have to track anymore. I can really eyeball my food now and I can really get a good idea of because you did take the time to measure your food early on in the program. So having to measure food is not a lifelong thing. Or to track your macros I do, though on occasion I will track a meal or track a day, just to make sure I'm kind of still on point, yeah, but yeah, I just do it intuitively now, which is wonderful because nobody's got time for that.

Melissa Crook:

No, you do. You just get you know. I will tell you for me. What this has created for me is a sense of accountability. I know, and so for me, I still I don't. Well, whereas I might not eat the exact meals they're recommending that day, I still track my don't. Well, whereas I might not eat the exact meals they're recommending that day, I still track my macros every day. It just helps me make sure I'm fueling my body the right way. It gives me something to look at to keep me accountable, and everybody has to figure out what that thing is for them.

Melissa Crook:

For me, I love to eat and I'll eat even when I'm not hungry, if I really like that thing, and so this helps me to be more mindful about that. So, instead of eating half the bag, maybe I just grab a half a cup or a quarter of a cup and satisfy that. You know that taste. But we also you know I think I can't remember who said this One of the trainers said this one time, it might've been Amanda. The owner and founder said you know memories over macros. Every time, if you've got the holidays, if you've got that birthday, we have treat days every Saturday where we treat ourselves and we don't worry about it and but yeah, I just, I feel better, I have more energy, I'm not falling asleep at three o'clock and trying to figure out. Well, I can't drink coffee right now because that'll keep me awake all night. If I drink any caffeine after two o'clock, I'm toast. Oh, me too. Yeah. So I think for you know, it's just that accountability piece and also the movement piece I don't think we talk enough about and I saw my mother-in-law do this and she was ahead of her time. My mother-in-law was lifting weights and moving weights in her 50s, 60s and 70s because of the whole predisposition that she had in her family to osteoporosis and those kinds of things, to osteoporosis and those kinds of things, and you know.

Melissa Crook:

So just getting the weights back in to your workouts and you know, and factoring those pieces into, is we you know we can't just cardio ourselves to death and you can get, you can have weights in your home, you can get them very inexpensively, you don't have to join a gym. But that piece of it because you know people always want to talk about I want to get rid of the fat, I want to tone. You're not going to tone by walk, I mean by walking 10,000 steps every day. If that were the case, I would look like you know, mrs Universe, right now. Yeah, we all would. So the fact of the matter is that you do have to factor that in. But there's ways to do it, like I have a weighted vest and that I will use with my weights the bands, the strength resistance.

Melissa Crook:

So I think sometimes I'm like I don't want to lift weights. That was probably when I'd be like, oh God, lifting thing again. I thought I left that behind in college. You know, whatever it's actually, I really enjoy the lifting days. Now I can do the movements and and again seeing the results. And again I go back to that first four weeks of being really hard but being really important, because that established my baselines, it established my foundation. And now, you know, I'll look at my day. I'm like, okay, what are my what's? Is this a? You know what kind of a macro day is this? Because it varies. That was the mistake I think I want to talk about real quick. I was doing the same macros every day is what it basically came down to me. I wasn't tracking macros before, I didn't even know that was a thing, but I was feeding myself and moving my body the same way every day, and that is not as a midlife woman. You can't do that.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, and so I'll explain that. Because we call it carb cycling. Yeah, we pair the macros that day with the type of workout we're doing. So we'll do low carb on a high intensity interval training day in order to deplete ourselves of the glycogens that we can start to burn fat. It's a lot of science, but it makes total sense when you get into the program and, plus, our bodies are very intuitive and they can.

Michele Folan:

If we feed ourselves the same thing day in and day out and do the same kind of workout day in and day out, our bodies adapt to that. And don't forget, our bodies are very adaptable and have been since the beginning of time, because when we don't feed ourselves, when we go into a true calorie deficit, your body will shut off your metabolism because it still thinks you're a cave person and there's famine, yeah. And so I was sitting down with some new clients this week and walking them through their macros, and some of them are probably eating, you know, maybe 500 more calories a day than they were eating before. And that can be super uncomfortable at first because you're like, oh my God, how am I going to eat all this food? Oh, I'm going to get fat. But you got to trust the science because, our metabolisms aren't broken.

Michele Folan:

We just got to get them back and revved up again, and it is possible to do that with this program.

Melissa Crook:

Yeah, I will say that's a really good point. I mean, I will tell you, early on in the process, I was like I am not hungry, but they're telling me I got to eat this now, so I'm going to eat it. I never gained weight in this process. I never did I go up instead of down ever. And, michelle, you did a smart thing, though, too, and I did abide by this. You told us stay off the scale for the first six weeks. Do not get on the scale, because as your body composition changes, you may see some ebbs and flows in your weight as it's changing, and that can be really psychologically discouraging. So I did abide by that. So, truthfully, I can't.

Melissa Crook:

Maybe I did gain weight I don't know by a scales, but yeah, I mean, I think that was such a that's this whole eat less, move more thing is just not. It's not well, it's not how midlife bodies respond, and it's really not sustainable, because the problem I think too that happens is when you are starving, you're not craving that healthy protein. You're craving that giant bowl of pasta, that thing that's going to hit, that immediate fill, but then you're hungry two hours later because it doesn't have the sustainable filling of a protein. So you're not only, you're just filling your body with too many of one kind of thing and not enough of the other, and I think for me that was the biggest thing and I knew there was something that wasn't working. The biggest, you know, besides the macros and the reality of those, is you can't.

Melissa Crook:

You got to move differently, a little differently each day, and you got to feel according to that, a little differently each day. You just can't do the same thing every day and expect to get results, especially the way our metabolisms have changed and I no longer feel like I'm eating, like there's no longer a meal that comes along. I'm like, oh, I'm full, I'm not going to eat that Because I've adjusted to the workouts and my body has adjusted. I'm always ready to eat. Whenever there's something else on there, I might not be starving, which is a good thing. Me too, see, I'm not starving, but I'm always ready to eat.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, and back to your thing about not getting sleepy in the afternoons. That's a phenomenon I hear from a lot of other clients, and it's because at lunch you are getting protein, carbohydrate and fat, so we're keeping your blood sugar very stable. So if you're eating nothing but carbohydrate for lunch, you're going to go up and then you're going to crash and the crash brings on the nap. So that that's one tip. So, anyone listening, if you do get that afternoon slump, make sure that you are getting enough protein, fat and carbohydrate at lunch, and so and when I say enough protein, that's 30 to 35 grams of protein at lunch. So yeah, it works, it really does work, it does, and I don't crave a coffee in the afternoon anymore. So I love that. Yeah, me too. So, melissa, what's next for you in the podcast? Do you have any other projects in the works?

Melissa Crook:

Yeah, we're looking at 2025 right now. I did my first public speaking last week officially, so I'm really looking out to get out more in front of women having these conversations. So I'm available now to speak in person and virtually about these talking points that we use. I can hit on them all. I can hit on one of them. I can customize it to whatever it is. Can hit on one of them, I can customize it to whatever it is your group of women is looking for. Last week, it was built around confidence. I was working with a group of college women and help you know what's going to help them go out into the world confidently, show up confidently in their jobs, in whatever spaces they're in, and so I was able to. So I built it around that and that's something I'm really excited about.

Melissa Crook:

I'm really kind of looking, as we move into 2025, to get out to do more public speaking, with the idea that the platform really becomes the Embracing Layers Network, featuring Melissa Crook as a public speaker, co-author of a book. She has also has this podcast and these panel shows on our YouTube channel that are really supportive, with amazing women that offer a ton of resources that help us live our most authentic, healthiest lives. But I knew, going back to your earlier question of why I chose to do this, I'm like, if I'm going to talk about being healthy, I have to be healthy in all the areas that I talk about, and this was the next step for me in doing that, and so always paying attention to what it is that makes you feel healthy holistically. So that's yeah. So in 2025, super excited about that. We'll wrap up the radio show. Those episodes will be available forever on our website and there's wonderful content in there.

Melissa Crook:

But, moving to hosting panels of women every other Monday on our YouTube channel, as we really launch our YouTube channel, continuing amazing conversations on our podcast, offering up our book, doing book clubs with anyone who wants to do a book club with us or just go check out our book and have it in hand. It's a great journal companion to do these things we talk about interactively. It's a great journal companion. It's a great book club. Do this with your girlfriends. That community piece. So really that's my hope in 2025 is to really get out in front of people more. There's just such an authentic connection with women when you start talking about these things and you see the light bulb go on, and the realization of those little things that you can do in your life that contribute to your wellness, and when you can do it in community where you feel safe and heard and known. Yeah, so that's what 2025 holds. Excited to launch into that and hopeful of what that will bring my way.

Michele Folan:

Oh, you've got a lot of great stuff ahead. So congratulations, because I know you continue to grow this and it morphs and changes, but you still have that. The base, the nuts and bolts of it, is still all there. So I love that. I have one question. I think I can answer this, but I'm going to ask it anyway. What is one of your priorities when it comes to self-care? What's the one thing that you do for yourself each day?

Melissa Crook:

One of the things I do almost every day is I write down the emotions, the things that I'm feeling in my body, and then that, especially when I'm going through a bumpy time or a stressful time, it helps me identify what I need that day. It helps me take a look at and see what do I need, to acknowledge, what needs to be processed, what is true and what is not true, because sometimes those old narratives and old, you know, tropes, those thoughts thoughts are not all thoughts are truth. So dismantling that and packing that and then that really informs what I need that day. Do I need a little more yoga? Do I need a little more breathing exercise? Do I need to get outside? Do I need to look at my schedule and maybe move some meetings around, or do I have a lot of energy and today's a great day to tackle that project that's been on the back burner for a while that I'm feeling energized to do so that really helps give me a scope and I really can't emphasize this enough.

Melissa Crook:

Listen to your body. Your body will tell you if there's something going on that needs to be addressed. It will give you hints and clues. I mean, so many times we talk about our bodies being against us and our bodies are for us. They're informing us what's happening, what needs to be addressed. But that's a key thing that I do. I don't always do it daily, but I really do try to or because I have gotten into enough of a rhythm with things that do work, that if I'm feeling something, I'm like, ah, I need to do this, I need once I do that good cardio, or or once I do that I need to stretch, that yoga, whatever it is. But sometimes you just need to sit. It's really good to sit down and unpack and pay attention to where you are. So that's for me, that's a key thing each day.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, I love it. Tune in tune into your body, tune into your mind, yeah, and one more thing on that.

Melissa Crook:

This is really important for me Take the negative and positive out of the emotional equation. Emotions are clues, so whatever it is you're feeling, it might be more or less uncomfortable, but being when you can be more neutral can be more neutral towards your emotions.

Michele Folan:

You're more likely to be honest about them instead of trying to push them away and not acknowledge them. Yeah, well spoken. I like that Very good, thank you, okay. My last question then, Melissa where can the listeners find the Embracing Layers Network and the Feel podcast?

Melissa Crook:

If you go to embracinglayerscom, everything is there. There's a page with our podcast episodes, a page with our radio show, a page with blogs about all of our episodes that give you ways to engage with them. That's a really key thing to kind of personalize it for you. The resources that all of our guests share. You listen to that guest, you really connect with. They've got resources that you can either get from them or just do the things they do. Some people don't offer something, they just have great practices that you can be like. Oh, I think that would work for me too. There's a contact form there if you'd like me to come speak to you. There's a book page where you can see how to buy our book. And then for the podcast, we're on all the platforms Apple, spotify, amazon Music. You know all the places. You can also listen to them on our website. They're available in links right there.

Melissa Crook:

We've got a sub stack that we post. If you want to be part of our sub stack community, you get first access to our blogs and our episodes, things that we've got coming up. You can be in community and comment with each other on how you're feeling about things that we put out there each week. But yeah, embracinglayerscom has all of that stuff. All of our social media is linked on there. We're just about everywhere. You can follow us at Embracing Layers and a lot of places out there. That's all linked on there too. So just go to embracing layerscom and unpack that, and that will be the best way to go. Perfect, absolutely.

Michele Folan:

All right, I got it and there's all those locations will be in the show notes. Melissa Crook, thank you so much for being here today. This was a lot of fun.

Melissa Crook:

It was. Thanks, Michele. It's always good being with you.

Michele Folan:

Hey, thanks for tuning in. Please rate and review the show where you listen to the podcast. And did you know that Asking for a Friend is available now to listen on YouTube? You can subscribe to the podcast there as well. Your support is appreciated and it helps others find the show. Thank you.