Asking for a Friend - Health, Fitness & Personal Growth Tips for Women in Midlife

Ep.92 When The Fentanyl Crisis Hits Close to Home: What Every Parent Must Know

• Michele Henning Folan • Episode 92

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The specter of fentanyl has cast a long shadow over America, leaving countless families to navigate the overwhelming grief of losing loved ones to this potent and often stealthy killer. Today, we sit down with Tom and Stephanie Quehl, two such warriors in the battle against this epidemic, who share the heartrending narrative of their son Jack's vibrant life and its untimely end due to a fentanyl-laced recreational drug. As we journey through Jack's memories, from his triumphs in the classroom, his travels abroad, to the unimaginable night that altered their lives forever, the Quehls' courage and resolve shine through, offering a powerful testament to the human spirit.

Throughout our discussion, the Quehls reveal the unvarnished truth behind the headlines, the personal toll of the crisis, and the crucial conversations we must start having about drug safety. They introduce us to the Jack Quehl Foundation, their proactive leap into transforming their own agony into a force for education and prevention. By establishing initiatives such as scholarships and education kits that promote Jack's passions for travel and learning, they honor his legacy while working tirelessly to safeguard others. This episode is a clarion call to all who hear it – to join forces, to speak out, and to take action.

We close with a look at the pressing need for community involvement and the galvanizing effect of sharing stories, just as the Quehls have shared Jack's. Their message resonates with an urgency that cannot be ignored: fentanyl is a crisis that touches us all, from the bright-eyed college student to the well-established professional. By wearing a "Do it for Jack" shirt, by listening, by learning, we each can contribute to the fight against this epidemic, ensuring that Jack's legacy is not one of tragedy, but one of hope and change for the future.

You can find the Jack Quehl Foundation at:
https://www.doitforjack.org/

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Michele Folan:

Health, wellness, fitness, relationships and everything in between. We're removing the taboo from what really matters in midlife. I'm your host, michelle Fohlen, and this is as the Fentanyl Crisis continues to grow in the United States. Its effects are far-reaching. No longer is it a scourge of the drug addicted Fentanyl. Deaths are happening in middle-class America, in our children and adults alike. Fentanyl does not discriminate, and I just want to be clear. I am not making any kind of a political statement.

Michele Folan:

Jack Quill was a brilliant, fun-loving caring son, brother, cousin and friend. He received a scholarship to the University of South Carolina and, through a special program, was able to study abroad for three semesters. He made lifelong friends wherever he went and after four very successful years of college, he began working remotely after graduation, during COVID. Jack was finally able to pack up his car in a U-Haul and move to Baltimore in August of 2021 to continue his career. But before he left, he wrote his parents a beautiful note thanking them for all that they had done for him, and he was off. On Saturday, September 19th 2021, jack's parents, tom and Stephanie Quill, received the phone call that every parent had been in the family's dreads. They rushed to Baltimore only to learn that Jack had a 1% chance of survival after using a recreational drug that had been cut with Fentanyl. Jack Quill passed away on Monday, September 21, 2021. And since then the Jack Quill Foundation was formed to educate and advocate so that no other family loses their Jack. I'd like to welcome to asking for a friend, tom Quill.

Stephanie Quehl:

Hello, thank you so much for having us.

Tom Quehl:

Yes, thank you.

Michele Folan:

You know I had mentioned to you that I think this topic is long overdue and there's a lot of reasons I wanted to do this. My audience is largely midlife women, and not only do we have children, but we're also getting into grandchildren as well, and I think this needs to be discussed and needs to be brought out into the open. But before we get started, I really want to do Jack's story justice and would love for you to tell us more about Jack. You have other kids and besides this wonderful foundation, you guys also have like real jobs, so I'd love for you to share.

Tom Quehl:

Well, luckily you are striping. Yeah, so we're actually retired, we both retired for this foundation, so it's pretty much our full time job. Yeah, and I'll just kind of go back a little bit. But I met Stephanie in the early 90s. I have a son, eric, from a previous marriage and we were married in 1996, Stephanie and I, and we had Jack Tyler and then our caboose, Adam.

Tom Quehl:

Jack was an all American boy. He lived for academics, he loved to read and he loved sports and when he was a kid, we lived in a house that had a huge neighborhood and he would ride around on his bike to find, you know, pick up football games and at one time, I think we owned or he owned, we bought him every NFL jersey out there. So he had the zest for football, zest for lights, zest for reading. It's a zest for academics. He went to Moeller High School, graduated 2016, 2016,. Excuse me, he was top 10 academically. He gave the graduation speech, the closing graduation speech, at the graduation ceremony and, god, as you mentioned earlier, Michele, he had a scholarship to the University of South Carolina. When we talked to schools and communities, we talked about everything Jack touched in high school. He was, like, as I mentioned earlier.

Tom Quehl:

Academically inclined, he also was big into sports. He played volleyball but his real love was for all, but his real love was football. He was lucky enough to move up his sophomore year to the varsity team and that's the last state championship that Moeller won and we were very happy to be there. He actually had a championship ring that he got for that, which was really cool. And then he started most his junior year and then all of the senior year.

Tom Quehl:

He also was involved in a theater. He was in a program called improv at Moeller, which is basically kind of a comedy sketch thing, and we were lucky to see that too, because Tyler had done it. Tyler's a year younger than Jack and Tyler did it from freshman year on. Jack did it just a senior year and to see both of them Tyler being a junior and Jack being a senior, it was just a great experience. We loved every part of it. As you mentioned earlier, he went to South Carolina on a scholarship. He enrolled in Darla Moore School of Business, international Business, and he studied abroad for three semesters Singapore, Germany and Brazil. Brazil was his favorite because he spoke fluent Portuguese, which we didn't know he did, and actually wrote a diary in Portuguese which we can't translate.

Stephanie Quehl:

Oh, that's a point, I got it. I got it. I got it translated. I was going to mention. Oh well, and.

Michele Folan:

Stephanie and Tom. I have to say for someone in college to get to study abroad for three semesters is amazing. I mean, you don't know, it's awesome. Yeah, what a great program.

Tom Quehl:

And during our talks we mentioned that we never worried about him and the study abroad program brought him in touch with friends from France, Germany, Brazil, Singapore and they all went to different locations and all those people studied semester at South Carolina with Jack, so they were lifelong friends. Part of them are still with us and involved in a foundation to help us spread the awareness of the dangers of fentanyl. So Jack graduated in 2020. It was a height of COVID. So his graduation was remote. He enrolled in a program called Venture for America which puts you in startup companies and you learn every piece of the company logistics, sales, accounting and his job was based out of Baltimore, it was called the Hex Corporation and he had to live with us for a year. He worked remotely and it was great year.

Tom Quehl:

I mean, a lot of people hated COVID. We loved it because we had Jack with us the whole time and Jack was really big into music and at that time vinyl records were really picking up. So we bought a turntable and we'd order records and have them shipped to our house and we listened to his music and our music and it was just a celebration of life. We really enjoyed every piece of that.

Michele Folan:

You got bonus time with him, you know, because a lot of right.

Stephanie Quehl:

I mean Stephanie, you probably. Yeah, we didn't realize it at the time, but yeah, you, you know, I thank God every day for that time now.

Tom Quehl:

Yes.

Stephanie Quehl:

Obviously Tom's. You know it was fun having him, but when it was time to go, it was time to go. So we're like go on.

Tom Quehl:

It's time for you to go, yeah.

Stephanie Quehl:

Yeah, All of us had. You know, we had that year, but I think everybody was ready at that point yeah. That's great, yeah, and then His well go ahead babe.

Tom Quehl:

So in August of 2021, he packed up a U-Haul and drove up to Baltimore Labor Day weekend. Tyler, who also went to University of South Carolina, studied abroad same program, Darla Moore. He also got an invention for America and his job was in Philadelphia. So Labor Day weekend we moved Tyler up to Philadelphia and Jack came up from Baltimore to help us move in. Because they're so close to each other, we were happy. We were thinking we could visit these guys anytime we wanted at the same time and that Labor Day weekend we met Jack and went to Baltimore to see his new apartment. He had two friends from South Carolina that lived in Baltimore not with him but close to him and we met both of them, Aaron and Chris and that was the last time we saw Jack.

Tom Quehl:

Two weeks later, Stephanie got the call from Aaron that he had found Chris and Jack on Jack's rooftop. He had like a rooftop patio. Chris had already died and Jack was alive. He had a pulse and this is usually where Stephanie takes over the story since she got the call. So I'll turn it over to you.

Stephanie Quehl:

Oh, thanks hon. Yeah, it was obviously horrible, but I think part of the foundation also is we had no idea what fentanyl does to you, like I'd heard of it, you know, obviously. But thank God, because you know I left the festival and came home and grabbed Tom and you know we couldn't find flights and, just like you, just get in your car, you're like we just got to go and so driving in that blind faith or you know, I say blind because I know that now but you know we had hope and to drive, I don't know what was it, tom, it's supposed to be 10 hours and we did an eight and a half. I have no idea.

Stephanie Quehl:

We totally thought Jack was that type of kid that just landed on his feet. You know he always figured something out. So I was just like if anyone could beat this it would be Jack. And you know of course I was. I still appreciate Aaron, who Tom told you he found two of his friends. I can't even imagine what that scene looked like and I always tell the students we talked to.

Stephanie Quehl:

You know, if something goes wrong or you're ever in a situation, you make the call. You know you don't leave a friend. It doesn't have to be fentanyl related, it could be anything. You know you don't leave them. And he had the guts to call me himself after seeing what he saw and Tom and I are very thankful for that. We had Tyler drive from Philly because he could get there sooner and to be with Jack.

Stephanie Quehl:

And looking back, you know we didn't hear much from us. I was like, oh, have the paramedics call me or have the doctor call me. And I should have known they were in crisis mode trying to save a child's life and we didn't know that, you know. And then when we first got to the hospital, I think when they told us he had a 1% chance, they thought we'd be like, okay, well, thank you and be done. And of course Tom and I are like, all right, let's go, he has 1% chance.

Stephanie Quehl:

And so he was with us through the night but we saw way too much and you don't need to hear all the details on that. By morning we're like, okay, this is enough. You just, you just know, as a parent, and I was like, okay, are you going to? You know, take his organs? And they're like we can't even use any of his organs. And you're like, Jesus, you know what does this drug do to your body?

Stephanie Quehl:

So we don't know a lot about the night because Chris, like Tom said, died with him. They were fraternity brothers and Aaron I don't push him to tell me more, but I know that they were all out together and that's another thing we stress to people we're talking to. And for adults, everybody makes bad decisions. You know when alcohol is involved and I'm just going to assume they, you know, were drinking alcohol. Like I said, I don't know details, but Jack didn't go out that night to die and I think that's the other thing is, you know, even though his friend, you know they offered something and he took it. He didn't want to die. I told you yesterday, you know we call it fentanyl poisoning because these, all these Americans that are dying many, many, many hundreds of thousands. You know they are not trying to die and illicit fentanyl is killing our Americans and record numbers, and you've learned a great deal about the fentanyl crisis, the drug itself and how far reaching it really is.

Michele Folan:

First of all, I want to say thank you for sharing that story, and I know you've recounted it many, many times, but I don't know how you went through this. I don't even know how you drove back from Baltimore. All this time had to be a blur for you.

Tom Quehl:

It was. It was and a blur is a great word because at 6.30am they told us they couldn't do anything else for Jack and we knew that. But they got us a room, the hospital did, and we were up all night. Obviously we checked into the hotel room and we just stared at each other and we said we can't sleep, let's just go to Jack's apartment, get everything that was valuable to him, valuable to us, and we loaded up Tyler's car and our car and Tyler went back to Philadelphia and we drove straight through to Cincinnati. My company was kind enough to fly Tyler back that night to Cincinnati because he, you know Tyler got there before us so he saw even more than us and I'm sure there's a lot of scar tissue on his side. But you're right, it was a blur the whole thing.

Tom Quehl:

And as you go through those next 10 days of Stephanie's sisters and mom playing the funeral for us, thank God they did, it was great because we couldn't do it and you have all these people that reach out to you, that are loving and really care about you. So those 10 days you're obviously in shock but you have comfort. Well, when those 10 days go by and people have to go back to school or their jobs. That's when you're left alone and that's when it really sinks in. And I've told this story many times that I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to work, I didn't want to do anything. And then Stephanie finally woke up one day and said we need to do something about this. We need to make sure that no one else loses their jack. And that's where the Jack Quehl Foundation started.

Michele Folan:

And you had Adam at home.

Tom Quehl:

Yes.

Stephanie Quehl:

Yeah, I taught at Adam's school. I was a teacher for 18 years at St Colomban School in Loveland, Ohio. It was September, right. I just got this new class of sweet little fifth graders and I think we were three weeks into school and then this tragedy hits and Adam looked at me I think two weeks later and said, if I have to go to school, why don't you have to go to school? And I was like, okay, you know what? And I really truly was like I couldn't leave those kids who have no idea what fentanyl is or they're so young. I was like I can't not finish the year. I don't know. I look back now. I don't know how I did it, but yeah, so I just got up every day and Adam and I went to school. I have to say, like I'm funny I told you yesterday I have to keep my humor but the first day he went back to school I got a call from the nurse that he broke his hand.

Stephanie Quehl:

I was like, oh my God, we've never had one broken bone in any kids, and then he's back one day and I was like, oh God, there's another thing. So it was good for me to be there to keep eyes on him, obviously, and the teaching staff to keep eyes on Adam. The community, you know. My mom and dad told me once that you you know, a lot of people don't continue with their church and their faith and we don't have to get into religion. But she did just say that part of being part of any church is the community.

Stephanie Quehl:

When there's something that happens in your life and I didn't get it, and boy did our community, not only St Columban but Loveland, where we live it was incredible. The support and the meals and candles and services and prayers, and it was truly and they still are amazing, amazing people had came through this, you know, and that helps us a lot too. Somebody their day lost a son and her friend reached out to me like she doesn't know what to do, what she can do, and I was like, you know, you have to surround yourself with good people and I feel like in life, that's what your good friends are there for, in people that you know. And, obviously, teaching for 18 years I've met many of families, you know, and so they were there for us, for sure.

Michele Folan:

I think this is also a great message that if you know people that are going through a hard time, it doesn't even have to be the loss of a child. But step up, because what you're telling me is those little kind gestures and the thoughts really were important to you during this healing process, so I think that's super important.

Stephanie Quehl:

And I have to say I was one of those people. If you're afraid of death which I was not afraid I'm not afraid of lying, I'm afraid of death, but I never knew what to say at a funeral, like I was one of those people that I was like, oh my gosh, you know you go through a line like what do I say or what do I write in the card? After I just never really had good words and I have somebody who sends me a note every week for the last two and a half years and it means so much to me to get a card in the mail or for Tom and I to get a treat or just someone to acknowledge that they remember. I think, too, we want people to speak Jack's name and I think people are afraid or tentative. We love his friends.

Stephanie Quehl:

It's been amazing. They send us old videos or they'll send us pictures or memories and it makes you sad, obviously you see your kid. But also the joy I get to relive some of these moments has been great. And he was a boy, so the boys don't share a lot with their moms. He wasn't like texting me every day with pictures, you know. So the girls in the international program probably gave us the most priceless thing. They gave us a 10 minute video and it has voiceovers where they interviewed all the kids in the program and then they added all the sills and then video of their trips that I had never seen, because Jack might have sent some of it home, but girls are so much better, so they collected it all and it's just absolutely amazing to see. So, yes, reach out to people and let them know you care, and speak of their loved one's name is very important.

Michele Folan:

Oh, that is so thoughtful too, what those girls did it this lifelong treasure for you.

Stephanie Quehl:

The girls came out of the woodwork. We met a lot of girls that we didn't know about oh, boys are so funny that way we probably know more about Jack now that we have that's for sure yeah, and Tom mentioned you know they all wanted a piece of Jack.

Stephanie Quehl:

So, like the kids came and they all took his jerseys. You know these kids, all you know he had all these jersey collections and so at his viewing we asked for no suits. We're like we want you to wear your favorite jerseys, because that was Jack. He never wore anything nice, he didn't care what clothes he had on, he wasn't, he was very unassuming and just that wasn't his gig. And so my niece was moving and she's like hey, I need to take something of Jack.

Stephanie Quehl:

So he went down the basement and we were kind of looking through his stuff and I thought it was a school notebook and, like Tom said, it was a diary in Portuguese that I am again thankful to have and it's. It was more introspective. It wasn't like, oh, I did this today. It was more like I'm he read books all the time. I'm reading this book and this is what I'm going to take from it or this is a lesson I learned, or I hope I do this. And he was worried about his friends and what all was going on and himself and trying to be a better person and exercising and cutting back on a lot, and so I did have it. Our neighbor did it for us, got it translated for us. So it's very interesting to me that we, tom and I, once again had no idea that he was fluent enough to write pages in a journal that absolutely floors me.

Michele Folan:

But all right, we didn't even tell us, I know, multi-talented kid, and he knows Portuguese.

Stephanie Quehl:

Go figure yeah, and I think we say that like we talk, like Tom and I, we don't. We're not trying to brag on Jack. I think the whole intelligence piece is that you can be as smart as you want and you're still going to make bad decisions in life. Or you can be brought up in a certain environment and go to these nice schools and do this and that, and you're still going to make bad decisions. So aren't we really stressed? The kids you have to think nowadays, now it's life or death. It's not. Oh, you're going to be okay. You, with the statistics which I know you're going to bring up later, they can't dabble like people did in the 70s, in the 80s, 90s, they just can't yeah, when we talk, we uh mentioned the word invincible because, when I was young I felt invincible.

Tom Quehl:

I'm sure everybody in their life has felt invincible at one time. And there's that level of invincibility through high school, college and you first graduate all three or 20s, and unfortunately fentanyl doesn't care about invincibility. It doesn't care if you can run a hundred yard dash in 10 seconds or bench press 300 pounds or you're extremely intelligent.

Michele Folan:

It doesn't care, it will kill you, no matter what you've learned great deal about the fentanyl crisis, the drug itself and how far reaching it is, and the message that I'm hearing from you loud and clear is that this can really happen to anyone. Can you share some of the insights that you've learned? I know Stephanie you shared a few stories with me yesterday when we spoke how these are normal, good people that are being affected by it yeah, actually.

Stephanie Quehl:

Um, so you know, obviously I'm in, we're in forums on Facebook and social media grieving parents and I can't even look at it. I mean I do, but it's just story after story. And one of the things that kind of stunned me still was I didn't realize there's, you know, people like me who might have been in a car accident or had a knee surgery and then they're in pain and their prescribed pain pills, you know, are gone and they're so desperate because of the pain that they're ordering up percocets um pain, other pain medications off of social media. And I've seen fathers dying and mothers dying. You know people that are in the work world. Um, Tom, I told her about the wall street journal article. Tell her about the Uber oh, yes, a couple things.

Tom Quehl:

We knew nothing about fentanyl and we know everything now, but we also didn't know how bad cocaine is out there today and cocaine is like a party drug. That's almost at every party, especially among young professionals. And there was an article in the wall street journal about six months ago that talked about this coke. It was called coke uber, so you could basically call this guy or girl I'm not sure who the dealer was or order it and they would deliver it to you, and it was mainly in New York. And unfortunately, the coke uber dealer had a bad batch that was laced with fentanyl and it killed a wall street executive, a nurse, a lawyer and a couple other people in New York over the weekend. So that just shows you how prevalent illicit drugs are at our nation today story after story, but I looked up at the DEA since we talked.

Stephanie Quehl:

So I told um Michele yesterday that when we started talking last spring it was six out of ten street drug pills were laced with fentanyl. Now it's up to seven out of ten within six months in our presentations. And if you're listening, you literally cannot tell the difference to the naked eye between the fake pills and the real prescribed pills. So even doctors can't. It's literally has to be under a microscope to tell the difference so you can get a pill press off of amazon. They're creating these pills in large like home depot buckets.

Stephanie Quehl:

The people that are mixing are not scientists or chemists. I couldn't understand, like, how it's cut or how that works. And one of the number one questions that people ask us is why are they trying to kill us? And maybe there is some in their back of their mind like we're killing Americans, but they're trying to get Americans addicted to the drugs. So fentanyl has been used in surgeries forever. It's safe if you're at the hospital, I said. I think people started to freak out. It's totally different from the illicit fentanyl. But they're putting little is it micrograms, honey micrograms into the batch of pills powder and two specks little pieces of salt can kill you.

Stephanie Quehl:

So I couldn't understand how they even it's hard to visualize. Well, how do you even get less than that in? So it's just making Americans addicted, and I'll let tom he's better at this. But once they get past the fentanyl, if they get immune to taking that all the time, then they would. That's the next one. They brought in honey that had a mean ketamine yeah to tell them about that. And then the other thing yeah.

Tom Quehl:

So the misconception that Stephanie mentions is that the cartels or the dealers are trying to kill people, and that's not even though it does happen. Their number one goal is to get you hooked on. What you think you're taking is really fentanyl. So you could take a percocet or you could try cocaine or any another pills. You know, if you take something to stay up at night to study for an exam and it might be laced with fentanyl, that won't kill you, but you'll have this incredible addictive feeling that you want more. And that's how they start. Fentanyl is very cheap. It's very easy to make. It's highly addictive. It's more addictive than heroin, morphine, cocaine and that's how they get you hooked. And once you start experiencing the sensation of fentanyl, you need more and more and you develop a. What's the word I'm looking for?

Stephanie Quehl:

resistance, resistance.

Tom Quehl:

Thank you that allows you to take more fentanyl. And then you start becoming what you want to call a drug addict or whatever it is, and once you reach the point where fentanyl doesn't do any more, you reach they have a new drug or they put it in ketamine horse tranquilizers, and that's when you're really bad some of that that they're making today. Test strips can't pick up. Narcan can't save you.

Michele Folan:

It's just a extremely, extremely powerful, illicit and bad drug the availability out there in the market is frightening to me. Yes, that you can buy it on social media. I hope parents are listening to this, that they are having these discussions with their even their older adult children, because they're not immune to it adults.

Stephanie Quehl:

I mean we've had friends I mean literally friends of friends who are like, could be smoking marijuana or taking things. I like, oh, I, it's okay, I got it from my friend. Sounds just like the kids. And you say, well, where did your friend get it? So, like, unless you're growing it in your own backyard. And, by the way, I mean and if you're listening to this, it's not I've seen babies die, toddlers, eight, nine, 10 year olds, innocent bystanders that happen to touch it when it's in the presence of their parents.

Stephanie Quehl:

So the conversation, yes, needs to happen. I don't care how old, obviously you're going to cater to who you're talking to. But you know there's many facets of that and as far as, like, drug and addiction recovery, we are all for that. There was just other foundations focusing on that and so with our foundation with Jack, it's more of the recreational use of hey, like you said, you need to talk to these kids that are trying things, or even adults. I can't stress it enough. I say in our talks, have want 60 one minute conversations versus hours on end. If you can just keep plugging that. I also say right now, in the United States, every day it's an equivalent of a 747 dropping out of the sky and killing our Americans. Every single day, that's what's happening. I think it's every five minutes, but if a plane dropped out, we would hear about it right. So I think we're up to what was it last year, honey? Over 120,000 deaths.

Tom Quehl:

Yeah, I think it's 110, 110 or 116. The numbers just keep going up.

Stephanie Quehl:

They haven't even verified it, yet they can't even keep up with it and, honestly, I just looked up on the DEA site, which is a great resource, just in 2024. They have confiscated 483,000, plus illicit pills Just in January. Think about it we're not even through a month and they've compensated 244 pounds of fentanyl powder which would kill which would kill.

Michele Folan:

How many people I mean?

Stephanie Quehl:

they could kill the United States three times over. And I think you know we're not trying to scare anyone, we try not to be like that. But it's odorless, it's tasteless, you will have no idea, and so it's very important to be vigilant. We don't teach to. It's okay for trying things. Just make sure you test and use an art can, because we want them just to not do it. But I didn't understand this. But everyone should carry it, because it could be somebody at Kroger or Uranus and bystander and somebody drops next to you with a statistics going on the United States. So that's just to be on hand.

Tom Quehl:

Or maybe you're talking about an arcane. Yes, yeah.

Stephanie Quehl:

So I think we're going to see where more education is coming in the school systems, and obviously we have to. It's the leading killer in the United States right now 18 to 45.

Michele Folan:

That's all people should need to hear. Those are amazing statistics.

Stephanie Quehl:

An interesting story is we have a guy named Mark Murphy who works with us and Tom and John Homer and he are going to go to the border here in March.

Stephanie Quehl:

But he went to the border last year and he said it's just frightening. They have huge Army commando guys that come across the border with backpacks. They advertise they went to the Arizona border but they advertise like make a quick thousand bucks or whatever you see on telephone poles and obviously it has to raise a few flags of these kids and then they drive down and they get these college students or people that need money and they have no idea what they've gotten into. Sometimes they have people with guns to their head telling them to drive. He was on a police chase where they caught the car and the girl's mom was calling her cell phone and they had to answer it and say like your daughter's okay, but she is mixed up in this really bad situation here at the border and then that girl's life has forever changed. So he just said it was just constant. So as a foundation we thought it was important to go down and see this firsthand for ourselves what is going on.

Tom Quehl:

I'll just say real quickly I'm looking. I'm not looking forward to going to the border, but I am looking forward to going to the border just to see what's how bad it is and then give firsthand knowledge when we talk to parents and the kids.

Michele Folan:

Well, to definitely increase that credibility in your message. And I do want to talk more about your foundation, because I think it was Jack's friends who wanted to do something. It was Do It for Jack and that really blossomed into the Jack Quehl Foundation, which is what you two are doing now. You've touched many people with Jack's story, with your outreach, and sadly, there are a lot of families out there that have similar stories. Your mission is education. So what are you currently doing? Like when you say you're going to schools, but I think you're also going to corporations as well. Can you talk a little bit more about that?

Tom Quehl:

Yeah, so at the funeral I wanted to get the elephant out of the room and then address the elephant in the room and it wasn't planned he just stood up.

Stephanie Quehl:

I'm like where are you going?

Tom Quehl:

Yeah. So I said first of all, you don't know what to say to us. I understand that. Just give us a hug and tell you that you love us. And then I said we all know how. We know how Jack died and we know you know how Jack died. If you find yourself in a position where you need to make a choice, make the right choice, make the life saving choice. And if you can't make that choice on your own, make that choice for Jack, Do it for Jack. So that's where it came from and it was not scripted, it was just something I said and the whole foundation is based on that fact that make right choices for your life and do it for Jack. And I don't know if you want to talk.

Tom Quehl:

So Stephanie's the one kind of the planning person of who we talk to and I can. We both talk and it's great when we talk to high schools, we talk to communities. We've done a couple podcasts, a couple radio station segments, but when we talk, especially the high schools, we love to have someone that was Jack's age, one of his friends, to come with us. And we're lucky enough to have the last couple. We've had a couple of Jack's girlfriends, friends that are girls and one of his best friends, Jake, present with us, because the kids get it from us Like they love to hear us talk and they get some value out of that. But when they have someone close to their age talk about it, the attention span goes up 1000% and it's just, it's great to watch that interaction. We're older now, but to have someone that's close to their age talk, it's just awesome to see how much they soak it in.

Stephanie Quehl:

Yeah. So it started off like, oh, we have to start this education program or get in the schools, which we did last spring. A lot of we started and Tom and I felt like we needed to be in small groups so it was easier to get into the private schools. And since then, because they can, you know I didn't have to go through a lot of loopholes, but we were doing it in classes of, you know, 20 to 30 kids and, you know, between our talk we show a documentary that's very impactful. We give them the facts and at the end we would give them a Google form like an exit interview for us.

Stephanie Quehl:

And so in this forum you know it's anonymous and wow, the insight from these kids and how they've been affected and who they've known and what they've seen, it's, it's more than all of us in this age group listening. They just know so much more than us. So we realized to, through the few parent talks that we started to doing, that the parents had no idea. And so then we kind of like, as a foundation like you know what we got to start educating adults so then they can speak to their children they can still hear us, but they also need to be keyed in onto what's going on and even now, every time I meet some of them like I had no idea I had no idea.

Stephanie Quehl:

So in this last few weeks we've just had some amazing opportunities come through, like you said, with some bigger companies asking us to speak to their young professionals that they've just hired, their new hires that are in the age group, some sales meetings, another person who same thing. They just want to make sure their employees know what is going on as well, and I think that's amazing. It just kind of puts us in another whole audience that we haven't touched yet and obviously Tom and I are willing to speak to whoever will listen. We're going to partner with some other foundations in the United States as far as the education and the curriculum, because there's been things already designed that we can probably use, versus reinventing the wheel. All the foundations I've reached out to want to collaborate. Nobody's like oh no, you know, it's like this is a problem in the United States. Let's go. You know as many people we can get in as many states. Yeah, that's been great.

Tom Quehl:

And to echo Stephanie's comments about parents we talked to the high schoolers. They soak it all in. But the parents, when they listen to us, talk their jaw drops because they were like us, they didn't know anything about fentanyl. And when they see the statistics it's shocking. We've had parents tear up during our presentations and just want to know more about what they can do. And you know we all want to protect our kids, but when you hear the statistics of what's going on out there, that's when it really soaks in. And I really like to get more parents involved in our discussions. And I get it. It's tough. You work all day and then you know we'll do a seven o'clock call or a seminar and it's tough to get there. But it's very important to hear this message so that they can save their Jack.

Michele Folan:

How can we help? I would love to give the listeners an opportunity to help you all get your word out there.

Stephanie Quehl:

Another thing I've realized through our talks is this this fentanyl and taking the pills which really worries me in the high school age and I think Tom and I didn't hit it it is in vaping cartridges that they're buying off the street and when we say that, not the ones at the gas station but they're cheaper, so they'll go to some social media. I don't know how they find it, but they find it. It's in, and we've had firsthand stories. This isn't Tom and I just saying it, especially from those interviews I was telling you about. It's in marijuana. It is in marijuana. We've heard now numerous stories of death through marijuana. At first I thought I didn't have a concrete story and I do, and it is in the.

Stephanie Quehl:

What Tom mentioned, the Adderall, is. There's a shortage of Adderall right now. So if you have a child that or a grandchild that is using Adderall for their ADD or ADHD, you know it's a hot commodity in colleges and kids will buy it. They'll buy it in high school. They want to stay up and study. Well, there's a shortage and then that's where, okay, I need an Adderall to study, I'm going to get one off social media and they're dying from that.

Stephanie Quehl:

So I just think it's really important for parents to know that and grandparents that it is readily available. And I think this also ties into is mental health. So that's another thing. If you have a child that's struggling and you're a little worried, but you know they're taking things to feel better, right, we know that and we've met many parents who were blindsided. They didn't realize their child was struggling and they go into their bedroom. In the next morning they're finding their child in bed and it's too late. So I just I know a lot of your podcasts are on health and I just think that's very important to tie it in with teenagers, anyone adults who are struggling that way as well.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, and we do lump the two together, so it's health and wellness and very much we do focus on the mental aspects of health here, for sure. Tom, did you have something else you wanted to add?

Tom Quehl:

No, I just said, that was well put, stephanie, yeah.

Michele Folan:

And how can we help, because I know that people are listening and that would love to not only have some more resources, but how can they help?

Tom Quehl:

We have at the foundation. Obviously we Stephanie and I retired and work for free and everything's not free. So a little shameless plug is we do take donations. We were lucky enough to win Cincinnati Gives twice, mainly from Stephanie's work about promoting it. So that has funded us and we're going to work on a one and three and a five year plan. And if you want to go, stephanie, what through those plans are? You talk about education kits in high schools and documentaries. Since that's near and dear to your heart, I'll let you take over.

Stephanie Quehl:

Yeah. So first of all, I always say you know, the biggest thing is awareness and basically, like Tom said, we Love donations, obviously, but to me, if you take our message and share it and Tell somebody else our story or send them to us, that is number one is, like I said, raising awareness. We love when people have our shirts on. We've been in time to tell the statistics of 27 states.

Tom Quehl:

A do it for Jack shirt has shown up in 37 countries, counting the US. There's been a do it for Jack shirt, and what the do it for Jack shirt represents is we want people to ask them what does do it for Jack mean? And that's how the story is shared and that's how it's passed on the message, and that that's a powerful message, because the people that wear the do it for Jack shirts know Jack's story, they know our story and they're they're somewhat versed on in the dangers of fentanyl. And that's how we're carrying on the message Not just Stephanie and I do on it that the folks are family, friends that all talk about Jack.

Stephanie Quehl:

Yeah, so that's just like my. I hate to say fun, but you know, when you're grieving, you need a little light your life, and so when people send us their pictures and say, hey, I'm here, it just makes us so happy. So that's raising awareness with the stories through the education. Like I said, the more at first I was like, yeah, we need to do come up with our own Curriculum and this and that, and that takes, you know, a lot of manpower and to do that. So I'm trying to partner now with things that already made, but we do need to come up with our own. We say, kid, this could be like an online, you know dry folder where anyone can speak on our behalf.

Stephanie Quehl:

I'm really happy that I found somebody to help me with the young professionals board, which Thomas telling me calm aboard, but these are all Jack's age group who've reached out or other family members. They want to be a part of it. So I was like, okay, what can we do? And they're all in different states. So I think you will see the Jack Kwell Foundation do it for Jack beyond Cincinnati this year. So we've asked for a two-year commitment and they're gonna go speak or do some kind of awareness on our behalf, which is great, and then that hopefully will trickle, because in five years, like Tom said, we can't possibly speak to Every school or every parent group or every whatever, and so we need these ambassadors, and I need to be able to give them what they need to speak and know what they're doing and Be successful as us, you know being us nationally, so that would be the goal we need to get, you know, obviously, raised funds for an operating budget.

Stephanie Quehl:

Like Tom said, we've had everybody do everything for nothing, and I'm finding that I can't be the social media person. You'll see, I'm. I try, but I'm not great at it. And so, you know, hiring people to help us, because we're swimming, you know, and that's a great thing. We've been just all of a sudden, you know, people care, like Tom said, to win, cincinnati gives twice, said to me, cincinnati cares. If Cincinnati cares, ohio cares. You know, I told you yesterday Ohio is Number three in fentanyl overdose deaths in the United States and I was just like at first, like what? And it's because of 71 and 75 and getting to the East Coast and from Arizona, texas, and then shooting right up, they can be, you know, in another state in 24 hours. So it is important to Ohio, but it's important to every state.

Stephanie Quehl:

So what can you do to help? You can connect us, that's. I mean, you have a grant right? Hey, if you're a grant right, I'll take you to. But connecting us is your, does your company? Is this something we can work together with? Is your, you know? Do you have somebody in your community that would love to help us or want us to speak to them? Do you have a story? Do you have a story you'd like to share with us? And then maybe we can help Somehow through our foundation. You know, partnering with us. So anything, I don't know how to say that right, connectors. Right, we need connectors. Yeah, that's a good word.

Tom Quehl:

Yes, yeah and I think it's important. One of the other things we want to do is create a documentary, not just about our life, but about the other people who are in the situation we are in, people that have lost their son or daughter or their mother or father or a brother or sister or a best friend, because Talking about this is hard but it's also cathartic and it really helps us feel better when we feel like we're saving someone. And I think Documenting someone talking about their child or their friend would help them too, and combining that all together and getting that on social media, I think, will be extremely powerful.

Stephanie Quehl:

Absolutely. Yeah, and I forgot about that, tom. So, yeah, my dream was this documentary. That wasn't necessarily the Jack Quell all about Jack. It was more of an educational piece that we could use, because the one we use now, if you're listening, it's called dead on arrival. It's on YouTube. It's amazing, but it's from 2020 and the statistics are Ten times worse. And so when we speak, we're like, okay, look at this, but now it's this and just kind of refreshing it and coming up with our own unique, like I said, so that anyone could speak on our behalf. You know, you have this movie and I met with a film company yesterday. It is very expensive. I was just asking for little five minute deals and, and I think, if you take it to the next level with focus groups and stories, you know we do it right. We would definitely need funding to get that off the ground as well.

Michele Folan:

I hope everyone listening knows that Stephanie and Tom are super lovely people. They Would love any support reach out to them. I do have a question for both of you.

Tom Quehl:

Sure, with everything everybody's called me lovely in a long time, but I really appreciate.

Michele Folan:

There is a personal connection. I do know Stephanie sister very well. I Want to know, with everything that you have going on, what do you both do to take care of yourselves, because I'm big on self-care and I would love to know how you manage everything.

Tom Quehl:

So we work out together Every day. Steph is a yoga instructor, which I'm sure she can talk out. That makes her feel better.

Stephanie Quehl:

We take naps which we really need.

Tom Quehl:

Yes, because it is exhausting and your memory wanders. We are lucky enough to have both our families Live in Cincinnati extended families so they are very supportive of us and very loving, and we have a great friend network that always helps us pick up the pieces when we feel down or, you know, we need someone to talk to or have a beer with, or an ear and a beer. I always call it. They're always there for us, no questions asked, and I think if we Were hermits it'd be a lot tougher. But I'm a social creature. Stephanie is a super social creature and we keep plotting along. So thank you for asking that question, because I think a friend and family network is extremely important To help us get through this.

Stephanie Quehl:

Well, and I think if you're listening and you're grieving, it may not be through fentanyl and you're just grieving, or you've lost a child. You know you can't ever fill that void and I feel like for me to turn into a negative person, you know, would do no good for anyone at all. And so we try to use humor. We, you know, we, I think we laugh usually makes me laugh at least once a day. The nap thing is funny. We were always nappers, but now it's a necessity. Your brain Literally, if you're, if you're listening to turn it off. You know you can set your timer for 20 minutes and have a reset. But If you don't do it for yourself, do it anyway. Getting out and walking, like he said, you know Everybody, obviously we all know that, but just it helps your body so much to move and To breathe. The yoga is great and that's just another community. I mean too, they make me happy.

Stephanie Quehl:

But I think Tom and I are in tune to that kind of supper. We'll look at each other and I'll just say I'm done, like you know. He's like, that's okay, you can be done, and I think that's another thing. You have to admit yourself I'm done, I can't do anything else today or I've done enough. Obviously, having Adam, tom and I have to put two feet in front of each other every day, and that's been a blessing to say. You know, we can't just crawl up in a ball and not do anything, but it is very hard. I don't want people to think I was like, oh, you're so strong and I really don't feel strong. I don't tell him if that bugs you I. I was like I'm not, but I might look like I am.

Stephanie Quehl:

I think people who are grieving are crumbling on the inside and Tom and I just are more vocal because we don't want somebody else To have to go through this. I mean, we did. It wasn't an option for me to not say anything to anybody or to pretend this isn't what it was, because with what we know, with the statistics, we have to speak up and that our last fundraiser was called courage to speak up. We had to have the courage to talk about it, and every day is hard for sure. I don't want Jack forgotten. That's one of my biggest things. I don't want him forgotten. I want people to speak and talk about it and save their families. I.

Michele Folan:

I appreciate you all speaking up. This is, I know, part of your mission, but Bringing up memories again, I know, is never easy. I would like for you to tell the listeners where they can find the Jack Quill Foundation.

Stephanie Quehl:

Thank you so much so the website is very easy. It's www do it for jack org. So I think if you even Google do it for Jack, we'll show up. We changed it to the Jack Quill Foundation and then do it for Jack is like you know another name but also our hashtag of just like that's what we want you to do. But we did create the foundation, I think I told you yesterday too.

Stephanie Quehl:

We also have scholarships available and so that's another funding thing. We have one that's already endowed at Muller High School in Cincinnati, ohio, just because that's where Jack went and we give a scholarship, a couple scholarships away at his grade school and we ask that they use it for travel. We ask that they take the money to use an experience, not only to Jack love to travel, but as a teacher and an educator you learn through experience and I think that's so important and With how expensive education is and the cost of living, I know it's a hardship for kids to be able to do that. Our next step would be to create another endowment scholarship where maybe it's whoever we spoke into can apply. We have to figure that out because you know, you know that would be really hard to do, but a Scholarship that anyone we have to figure out, you know the rules but can apply for to use for some type of service or Travel to better themselves. You know and do something in life to make somebody else's life better.

Michele Folan:

I love that and I wish you both tremendous good health and Success with the foundation. Thank you both for being here, tom and Stephanie quell.

Tom Quehl:

Thank you, michelle.

Stephanie Quehl:

Yeah, thank you.

Michele Folan:

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