Asking for a Friend - Health, Fitness & Personal Growth Tips for Women in Midlife
Ep.107 Reclaiming Intimacy and Knowing Yourself During Menopause with Gabriella Espinosa
Jun 03, 2024Episode 107
Michele Henning Folan
What if navigating menopause could be a transformative phase rather than a challenging ordeal? Join us as we welcome Gabriella Espinosa, a menopause and sexual wellness coach, who shares her deeply personal journey from a passionate courtship and early motherhood to the unexpected trials of perimenopause. Gabriella’s story highlights the often-overlooked aspects of this life stage, underscoring the importance of self-awareness and the need for open conversations surrounding menopause.
Gabriella recounts meeting her soulmate at 36, the joys of early motherhood, and the sudden onset of perimenopause that brought anxiety, insomnia, and low mood. Feeling isolated, she embarked on a transformative journey, learning from experts and mind-body tools that helped her reclaim her well-being. By 2011, she began sharing her insights through yoga classes and her online platform, My Menopause Story, inspiring countless women to embrace midlife intimacy and self-exploration. This episode emphasizes the significance of inner work, setting boundaries, and prioritizing personal pleasure during menopause.
Moreover, we tackle the critical role of communication with partners in navigating the physical and emotional changes of menopause. Dive into strategies for creating judgment-free spaces for honest conversations and fostering mutual understanding in relationships. Plus, explore the fundamentals of nutrition that support overall well-being. Learn how adding beneficial elements to your diet can naturally reduce cravings for unhealthy foods, making room for occasional indulgences without guilt. Tune in to unlock valuable insights on optimizing health and pleasure during this transformative life stage.
_________________________________________ Are you ready to reclaim your midlife body and health? I went through my own personal journey through menopause, the struggle with midsection weight gain, and feeling rundown. Faster Way, a transformative six-week group program, set me on the path to sustainable change. I'd love to work with you! Let me help you reach your health and fitness goals. https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=MicheleFolan
Have questions about Faster Way? Feel free to reach out. mfolanfasterway@gmail.com
Follow Asking for a Friend on Social media outlets: https://www.instagram.com/askingforafriend_pod/ https://www.facebook.com/askforafriendpod/
Please provide a review and share. This helps us grow! https://lovethepodcast.com/AFAF
*Transcripts are done with AI and may not be perfectly accurate.
**This podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional healthcare services, including the giving of medical advice. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
What if navigating menopause could be a transformative phase rather than a challenging ordeal? Join us as we welcome Gabriella Espinosa, a menopause and sexual wellness coach, who shares her deeply personal journey from a passionate courtship and early motherhood to the unexpected trials of perimenopause. Gabriella’s story highlights the often-overlooked aspects of this life stage, underscoring the importance of self-awareness and the need for open conversations surrounding menopause.
Gabriella recounts meeting her soulmate at 36, the joys of early motherhood, and the sudden onset of perimenopause that brought anxiety, insomnia, and low mood. Feeling isolated, she embarked on a transformative journey, learning from experts and mind-body tools that helped her reclaim her well-being. By 2011, she began sharing her insights through yoga classes and her online platform, My Menopause Story, inspiring countless women to embrace midlife intimacy and self-exploration. This episode emphasizes the significance of inner work, setting boundaries, and prioritizing personal pleasure during menopause.
Moreover, we tackle the critical role of communication with partners in navigating the physical and emotional changes of menopause. Dive into strategies for creating judgment-free spaces for honest conversations and fostering mutual understanding in relationships. Plus, explore the fundamentals of nutrition that support overall well-being. Learn how adding beneficial elements to your diet can naturally reduce cravings for unhealthy foods, making room for occasional indulgences without guilt. Tune in to unlock valuable insights on optimizing health and pleasure during this transformative life stage.
_________________________________________ Are you ready to reclaim your midlife body and health? I went through my own personal journey through menopause, the struggle with midsection weight gain, and feeling rundown. Faster Way, a transformative six-week group program, set me on the path to sustainable change. I'd love to work with you! Let me help you reach your health and fitness goals. https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=MicheleFolan
Have questions about Faster Way? Feel free to reach out. mfolanfasterway@gmail.com
Follow Asking for a Friend on Social media outlets: https://www.instagram.com/askingforafriend_pod/ https://www.facebook.com/askforafriendpod/
Please provide a review and share. This helps us grow! https://lovethepodcast.com/AFAF
*Transcripts are done with AI and may not be perfectly accurate.
**This podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional healthcare services, including the giving of medical advice. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
Michele Folan:
At the age of 59, I wasn't looking or feeling my best. I had low energy, I was tired all the time and I was losing muscle, gaining fat, and what I had done in the past for my diet and exercise were no longer serving me. I wanted to do better for myself and started doing some research and landed on the Faster Way. This science-based nutrition and fitness program is like no other. It includes both food guidance and daily workouts that are tailored to fit your goals, and it's perfect for midlife women. I'm excited to start working with clients and introduce you to a sustainable, healthy lifestyle that can lay the foundation for this next phase of life. Are you ready to prioritize you? Check the show notes of this episode and let's connect.
Michele Folan:
Now on to the show Health, wellness, fitness and everything in between. We're removing the taboo from what really matters in midlife. I'm your host, michelle Follin, and this is Asking for a Friend. With the many changes we experience in perimenopause and menopause, maybe some of the most profound shifts come with our relationships with our bodies and our sexuality. Yes, our bodies have changed and the desires we once had may feel greatly diminished, but how do we get back some of that connectedness with that woman who has served us so well through many life transitions. Gabriela Espinoza is a menopause and sexual wellness coach and host of the podcast Pleasure in the Paws, which is dedicated to empowering midlife women to own their pleasure, power and purpose through menopause and beyond. Gabriela's guidance takes women on a journey of self-exploration, trust and knowing to get to the other side wiser, stronger, sexier and more empowered. Welcome to Asking for a Friend, Gabriella Espinosa.
Gabriella Espinosa:
Thank you so much, Michelle. That was a wonderful introduction.
Michele Folan:
I had you on my list for quite some time as a guest and then when I saw you started the podcast, it was like the stars aligned and I said, oh no, I got to get her on because I want to hear more about that. But first I would love to hear more about where you're from, where you went to school and any kind of family details you'd like to share.
Gabriella Espinosa:
Sure, and I love that you found me via the podcast. I've met so many wonderful people since I started my podcast, so it is an exciting pivot for me just to get to have conversations like this with people like you. So thank you so much. So I was born and raised in Houston, texas. My parents are from Ecuador, south America, and they immigrated to the US in the 60s.
Gabriella Espinosa:
My parents worked hard and stressed, you know, getting an education. Never stressed getting married or having kids which you would think they would have done, given that we come from a culture that prioritizes that and makes that something to strive for for most women. But no, it was just really focusing on education and traveling and exploring the world. And so when I finished my undergraduate and graduate degree here at the University of Texas in Austin, I left Texas thinking that I would never, ever come back. I was like Texas feels too small for me.
Gabriella Espinosa:
So that's what I did I traveled the world for about 30 years and made a full circle. I've come back to Texas, back to my home, my home state, and it really feels like a wonderful homecoming because you know a lot of. I feel like I've done, I did what I set out to do I? I set out to travel and explore and meet new people and expand my mind and in the meantime some parts of Texas have done that, but for the most part I'm living in an area in Austin where I do feel I fit in and that sense of community building exists here and meeting a lot of wonderful midlife women who are on the same path as I am.
Michele Folan:
Yeah, and you are really involved in the menopause community. I see you're attending all these great meetings and I found that, oh gosh, you would be such a great guest for the show because you are hearing so many different thought leaders out there that are really passionate about menopause and just women in midlife in general. And I, you know, because it was funny. I was looking back at your career history and I was super curious how your path morphed into menopause and sexual wellness, like what propelled you to believe that there was a need to have this conversation.
Gabriella Espinosa:
Yeah, well, my journey into this career path is a very personal one and one that was really prompted by my disbelief and anger, really, quite frankly, that no one was having these conversations about a pivotal life stage for all of us and the changes that accompany it. A pivotal life stage for all of us and the changes that accompany it. So my journey started about 15 years ago when perimenopause came along totally unannounced and it was like a light switched off and I was left totally in the dark, especially when it came to my libido. So my husband and I had a very short courtship that went from this fiery, passionate desire that you often experience when you fall in love and get married, and so we got married. We met, got married and went straight into having three children in a span of five years. I was already in my late 30s. So, mind you, I had lived a life, I had traveled, as I said, and I just happened to meet my soulmate at 36 years old and I thought, okay, well, this is it. Maybe this is what I meant to step into now.
Gabriella Espinosa:
But it all happened so fast and furiously, had the three kids and I was in my 40s when I was done went straight from childbirthing to breastfeeding, to play dates, to being the soccer mom and straight into perimenopause.
Gabriella Espinosa:
But I had no idea what was happening and I experienced that anxiety that came out of nowhere insomnia, low mood and of course, this had a knock-on effect into my intimate life. And what I realized was I had no understanding or language to communicate what was going on, either with my husband, with my doctor or even my girlfriends, and they all seemed to be doing fine. And there was this enormous sense of shame that came over me that I was getting old and that my sex life was over, that my husband was going to leave me. All these thoughts came racing through my head. So I just decided to take things into my own hands and spent the next 15 years. Spent the next 15 years I traveled the world again, learning from renowned experts in sexuality, traveling to conferences about menopause, perimenopause and really researching, exploring the most powerful mind-body tools to really step into this next phase of life. Mind-body tools to really step into this next phase of life really prioritizing my pleasure, prioritizing my health and deepening connection to myself.
Michele Folan:
Okay, there are some amazing voices out there in the menopause space right now and I know you're in contact with many of them right now, but when you started the women's body wisdom back in 2011, that was not the case. There were no conversations and you even said that yourself. There were really those resources. How do you think you were able to break through the stigma of talking about menopause and midlife intimacy?
Gabriella Espinosa:
Yeah, I'm really so grateful to those doctors who are now educating and correcting decades of misinformation and myths around menopause with true and tested evidence right around menopause with true and tested evidence. Right For me, it was more about sharing my story to empower other women to fully embrace this transition. I think I had done a lot of the work by that time by 2011,. I had done a lot of the work to release limiting beliefs and shame I had about reaching this life stage, and so I started sharing my story in my I trained as a yoga teacher, in my yoga classes and workshops that I led, and then I started sharing it on social media and so many women would message me and thank me for speaking up. They told me they felt seen, they felt less alone and that they felt the same and that by my speaking up, they were going to take action to learn more about this transition. So that snowballed into my holding women's circles workshops.
Gabriella Espinosa:
I started an online platform called my Menopause Story where I invited women to share their menopause stories, and it was incredible the amount of stories that I received on a weekly basis Women really wanting to feel seen and heard through a transition that had been silenced for so long, and so it just felt like the right thing to do. It felt like that was my calling to be of service to others by sharing my story. And I knew that if I shared my story and I touched the lives of one person on any given day, that I was fully serving my purpose, my why, which was really to empower women to embrace and fully step into this stage of life, feeling in their power and fully in their pleasure, and finding some sense of purpose through this transition.
Michele Folan:
I love what you're saying here because I truly believe that this can be the best time of our lives. There's so much freeing that comes with this stage of life. Many of us are empty nesters or soon to be empty nesters. We may have a little money in the bank. There's just I don't know. I think it can be the best time of our lives, but I think there's this self-exploration or discovery that you talk about. Self-exploration or discovery that you talk about that needs to kind of happen first. How do you get women to start to look at themselves a little differently, because we've been in this little box of mom wife for so long? How do you get them out of that?
Gabriella Espinosa:
Yeah, that's such an important point that you raise, and this is what I call the inner work of menopause.
Gabriella Espinosa:
I think, with all the awareness and education going on about menopause, it can tend to be focused on the physical symptoms and how to manage or alleviate them, and I think this tends to lead women to search for a quick fix, almost like putting a band-aid, hoping that they will be able to carry on like normal, just like they did before, multitasking, putting their needs last, being of service to others. But the truth is it is a life transformation. Menopause can feel life-ing, but I also feel it can be a life affirming transformation and, like any transformation, it can be confusing, painful and frustrating. But transformation is uncomfortable because we're changing, not because of the changes that are visible on the outside, but because of the changes that are happening on the inside, who we're becoming on the inside. So I feel this is a wonderful time to pause and reflect on who we're becoming on the inside. How do we want to feel and be in this next stage of life? And it really requires, you know, a pivot.
Gabriella Espinosa:
It requires us to get to know ourselves better, empower ourselves with knowledge you know, upgrade our physical, mental and emotional health, to really sit down and value our lived experience and wisdom and set boundaries, prioritize our own needs, our own pleasure, and really see it as a new chapter in our life to be embraced and not feared. So all of that requires deep reflection, this journey of self-discovery, as you refer to it, and it's that sort of inner knowing, that intuition, that you can get to the other side feeling more empowered, feeling sexier, feeling wiser and more purposeful.
Michele Folan:
Yeah, and I think personally this time of our lives because we do have that life experience can be so empowering, because we are better at setting boundaries and speaking our mind, speaking our truth right. Women at this age may not have the body confidence that they once had. May not have the body confidence that they once had, and I know this has to be a challenge for you when you coach. Our bodies have changed, which can create, I don't know, a significant roadblock maybe to intimacy and pleasure and self-acceptance. Any advice how we can overcome this and better connect with our bodies at this age?
Gabriella Espinosa:
I think midlife is really a time of making peace with our bodies. Many of us have already spent most of our lives judging, dieting, trying to change our bodies to meet unrealistic standards of beauty or fitness. And then we get to midlife and we feel we are swimming against a very high tide because changes are happening that we simply cannot control, and sadly, this leads to further feeling that our bodies have betrayed us and that we need to be fixed in some way. And I feel, as women, we are our worst critics. No one judges our bodies more than we do, and I just want women to feel that they are enough in the bodies that they inhabit and that you are more than the number on the scale or the bikini that you want to fit into this summer.
Gabriella Espinosa:
Our bodies hold so much intelligence. This is the body wisdom that I often talk about. They carry our stories, our lived experience, and they do so many amazing things for us. And I'm not saying don't exercise, don't go to the gym. We need to eat well, look after our bodies, but we need to focus on befriending our bodies and building a more compassionate relationship with them. So I asked women to consider how are you caring for your body right now. Are you listening to your body's cues for nourishment, for rest, for movement, for pleasure? Are you speaking kindly to your body and how can you regard your body with the mutual respect, gratitude and trust of a true friend? Because this relationship is going to carry us through the next half of our lives and so it really is about forming that compassionate relationship and friendship. And I know it's hard and I know it can sound a little bit too out there or too woo, but it really that is again the inner work that we have to do with ourselves just make peace with our bodies and not strive for perfection.
Michele Folan:
I love that message and I think it's such a great first step in looking at what are your goals, what are your health priorities, because it's really about being healthy, not looking a certain way Absolutely, and so I think that's a fabulous message. Thank you for that. I do want to talk a little bit about the role of communication, particularly with our partners, and I know this is very important to the process, I would assume. But how do we make this more comfortable? Because I know women want to talk about their needs and you know, when it comes to pleasure, or just their daily needs of how they want to be treated and the level of communication that they want with their partner, how do we make that conversation comfortable?
Gabriella Espinosa:
Yeah, I think communication, as we're moving through the menopause transition and so much is changing is an essential part of any healthy relationship, and the sooner you start it the better. And it can feel quite vulnerable, especially if you've been seen as the one that holds the family together, manages the household, contributes to shared income, right to feel that, oh my gosh, I am not going to be able to step up to this image that everyone has of me and that I really need to be seen from this lens of compassion with regards to this major life stage. And it's really about you know, communicating with your partner, the physical changes that you're undergoing. So, again, understanding what those changes are, so empowering yourself with the knowledge as we move through menopause, we not only experience, you know, the outward symptoms or the emotional symptoms. You know either night sweats that can contribute to you know, interrupted sleep and that can contribute to our mood.
Michele Folan:
You know, it's all it has a domino effect.
Gabriella Espinosa:
But then there are the other changes, right the less spoken about changes. There's a constellation of symptoms known as genitourinary syndrome of menopause. So as our estrogen levels decline, we have estrogen receptors all over our bodies, but especially in our vulval area and vaginal tract, in our vulval area and vaginal tract. So that can lead to vaginal dryness, pain, discomfort. It can lead to altered sensitivity and affect how you experience pleasure and intimacy with your partner. So it's really so, so important to just start that open communication with your partner to adjust expectations and explore alternatives, and it's a great time to find alternatives, ways to be intimate and find pleasure in other ways. So just being clear in your communication allows you to express your evolving needs and desires, and so I often say create a clear and intentional space when you're going to do this. So make it clear that you want to start a conversation that is judgment-free. You're going to be free of any distractions. Choose a time when you and your partner are both relaxed.
Gabriella Espinosa:
I often have my deepest, most intimate conversations when I'm going out for a walk with my partner, or perhaps sharing a meal, or just cuddling on the sofa and really take time to listen to each other without interrupting. So you set those ground rules. You know, honey, I want to have this conversation with you. Could you just be a witness to what I have to say and just listen attentively without responding, and then I'll give you a chance to respond and I'll listen and do the same. So communication is a two-way street. And then I say let's ditch the blame game, right? It's so easy to blame our partners that they don't understand. We think that they're mind readers and that they should understand, but the truth is they don't understand and it's really on us to communicate with them what we're going through. And so I always say communicate. Start with I statements, focus on your own feelings and needs. I'm curious to explore this instead of you know you never do this or I hate it when you do this. And again, don't assume that your partner is a mind reader. Let them know that your changes, the changes that your body is going through, what feels different for you, share some ideas of how you'd like to be touched, new things you'd like to try, what will make you feel more comfortable, and be open to feedback.
Gabriella Espinosa:
Comfortable and be open to feedback. It's all about growing, learning and evolving together, and if something isn't working. It doesn't mean that it's all over or it's all doom and gloom. You can always start again If it doesn't work out the first time. You can have a laugh about it, have a conversation about it and don't get on the defensive, and just have an opportunity to hear each other out and then just start again. Yeah, and then just also embrace the discomfort. It's going to be awkward. Talking about intimacy and sexuality can be awkward, especially if you don't have a habit of it but just keep the mood light, curious and playful and admit, admit to it. Feeling awkward like feeling, vulnerable feeling. You know that it makes you nervous and the more comfortable you are with the awkwardness, the easier it will be to have those deeper conversations.
Michele Folan:
I think this is really great advice and I think most men are happy to have the conversation because at their core, I do believe that men do want to please their partners. We have to accept the fact that men and women are very different how we're wired, what our needs are to get us to that point where we want to be intimate and so to be able to tell your partner look, foreplay for me starts at 9 am. It's how I'm treated throughout the day. That vibe I get from you all day long gets me to that place, Whereas guys they can probably step up to the plate pretty quickly, but they want to feel cherished, they want to feel desired. So there's some commonalities there, and then there's some places where I think we're really, really different.
Gabriella Espinosa:
Yeah, that's such a, that's such a wonderful way to put it and I think, just having the spirit of generosity alive in your relationship. You know so much, so often we can tend to hold back because we're feeling that resentment rising or our partners maybe don't understand. But really initiating any kind of intimacy from a place of generosity, giving and receiving and, again, yeah, keeping the lines of communication open and, yeah, expressing, saying the things that you know that will make you feel more closer and more intimate with your partner, intimate with your partner. And if that's starting at 9am with you know a peck on the cheek or a hug, or you know a phone call or a text during the day, I know that you know partners will want to respond. We just need to, we need to teach them these skills.
Michele Folan:
Yeah, I think, in creating that environment too, and creating that environment of open discussion is certainly a great first step. Your coaching includes yoga. You do nutritional counseling. Will you address how these kind of go hand in hand as you're creating a healthy foundation with your clients as you're creating a healthy foundation with your clients.
Gabriella Espinosa:
So yoga has always been my go-to practice. I always say it's been my constant companion through all my life stages, from busy professional to pregnancy, motherhood and now menopause, and it's just been my practice, my go-to practice for connecting with myself. And I find yoga helps women find calm in the storm of so many of the symptoms. In yoga we practice breathing and conscious relaxation which switches on your rest and relax nervous system mode and from this place of your mind and body, feeling calm and grounded, it can reduce anxiety, stress, overwhelm and you're more open and receptive to pleasure. We know that stress is the driver of so many menopausal symptoms and, in particular, anxiety. So yoga helps us really to change how we perceive and respond to stress and it cultivates this inner awareness, this inner listening. When you talk about, when you hear, listen to your body, what does for nourishment, for movement, for rest, for pleasure, for connection. So often we are so busy and we're suppressing, we're pushing down those messages, those cues. So I really feel that yoga is such an incredible tool to broaden that lens of awareness.
Gabriella Espinosa:
And in regards to nutrition, there are some pretty simple and key pillars for nutrition. I don't like to say that I'm taking away things from your diet, but that I'm adding things. We're adding more protein, we're adding more greens and leafy veg, we're adding more essential fatty acids, more probiotic foods that are great for a healthy gut, and so it's really all about what can you add to your diet in terms of what can you take away, and a lot of this requires changing some habits. So that's what I mostly work on in my coaching is really changing some of those habits we have acquired over the years so that we can really optimize and upgrade our physical health to the best version possible.
Michele Folan:
Yeah, your message about nutrition is loud and clear. I want to say that I think, if we can focus on getting more of those good things like more protein, more fiber, those good things like more protein, more fiber, more veggies, all those things in our diet, and we tend to crave the sweets and the really bad stuff less often. But you got to get yourself fueled properly, fueled with the right nutrients during the day to make that happen.
Gabriella Espinosa:
Well, I do think when you do focus on all of that, on adding all of that goodness to your diet, there is more room for that dessert, for the sweets, without feeling guilty, without thinking you're being bad. There's more room for that, there's more permission for those sweet things. So I don't say to eliminate those things, I just say try to add more of all this goodness, because the cravings for those sweet things will decline when you focus on all of these other things. That's a surprising benefit. When you focus on eating all the things you mentioned, you will see your cravings for sweets decline and then, when the time comes to enjoy a wonderful dessert when you're out to dinner, you can give yourself permission and you can just say, yes, there is room for this.
Michele Folan:
Well, you're all about pleasure, you should have dessert. I don't, I think I don't. I don't ever want anyone to feel deprived, right? I mean that's, you should be able to have the dessert every once in a while. That's, come on, we got to live, absolutely, absolutely.
Gabriella Espinosa:
I was. I was just on a two week holiday with my husband and we went to Europe and Italy and the UK and you know we're both foodies. It was so nice just to get out of the standard. Okay, I'm going to eat my protein and my standard kind of things that we cook for ourselves. We cook very, very healthy foods to just, you know, be able to have those two weeks and not put any limitations. You know, having the dessert, having the, the um, the, the beef, the beef Wellington, the pasta, the fish and chips, I was like it was. It felt so, so wonderful. And, yeah, now I'm back into my regular routine and I don't really want to eat all of those things. I want to go back to my normal routine of how I'm used to eating back home and it feels good that I just allowed myself that permission just to enjoy and prioritize the pleasure of eating those wonderful foods when I'm on holiday.
Michele Folan:
Yes, and we have to give ourselves permission to do those things. What can your clients expect when working with you and the services you offer? I know you do one-on-one. Do you do group coaching as well?
Gabriella Espinosa:
Yeah, I do have a group coaching course which is all about pleasure and upgrading your pleasure. So when I work one-to-one with someone, the journey starts with you, your lifestyle, your community, your relationship to food, to exercise, how you digest, stress, how you sleep. And so we look at those habits, right, those habits that you have, and we work to shift those habits. You know, we set goals. I hold you accountable to those goals that you set for yourself. And then I provide practices that are based in yoga and breath work and some somatic movements that you can reconnect reconnect to your body and explore a lot of the shifting narratives so that you can have a greater awareness of how you want to feel and be in the next phase of life. And in the group coaching, I guide women through a three-month experience. I try to keep it intimate 10 to 15 women. It's a six-module course that I've developed where we look at the principles of pleasure, how to regulate your nervous system so that you can be receptive to more pleasure. I teach you all about your sexual anatomy. It's amazing how little we've been taught. So it's a little bit of sex education. It's a little bit about how to regulate your nervous system to be receptive to more pleasure. It's about giving you practices to explore your own sexual anatomy so I have guided audios to help you do this and then providing you with communication skills so that you can invite your partner into this exploration with you. And it really is about getting women to feel more confident in their sensuality and their sexuality and that to let them feel that it can be it will be different, but it can be better in midlife and things will not be like they were when you were in your twenties and thirties. They can be better because your body's changed, and so it's really a journey of exploring what I call new pathways to pleasure. Your whole body is a zone of pleasure, and so I give women instructions and guidance of how to explore these different erogenous and non-erogenous zones and really form this new relationship of meeting their sexual selves, sometimes for the first time.
Gabriella Espinosa:
I feel like midlife is a new chapter in awakening our sexuality. Sometimes women come to me and they've prioritized the pleasure of their partners. They've seen sex merely as a foundation for having kids reproduction and they don't realize there's more on the other side, that there's more freedom when you realize, okay, I don't have to use sex as a way of having babies anymore or making sure I don't get pregnant. There's so much freedom. I can use it as a time to explore my sexuality and there's so many ways that you can do this. So I find it's an exciting time in life. It's such an exciting time to explore sexuality, and so that is the group program that I lead women in, and a lot of women share stories and they share their experiences, and it's really a wonderful experience to support each other through that midlife sexual awakening, as I call it.
Michele Folan:
And they also realize I have other women here that are going through something similar. So I think there's that camaraderie that is developed through that, that you say, oh, I'm not so different, I'm like a lot of other women that are going through this as well. You started a podcast, so congratulations again. How did Pleasure in the Paws come about?
Gabriella Espinosa:
Well, it all started with my why, the reason I get up every morning, and that is to empower women to feel more connected to their bodies, pleasure and sexuality, which is so fundamental to our overall health and well-being and how we show up in the world. So each week, I dive into informative and thought-provoking conversations with women sharing their personal stories. Also experts, doctors, who have done research in the field of female sexuality, menopause I love looking at aspects around female spirituality and embodiment. I find a lot of women who are moving into midlife feel that they want to connect with a source that feels you know greater than themselves and that can be anything really, and so I love looking into that, looking at female empowerment through the lens of spirituality, and then also defining what your purpose is for you in midlife. So we have so much lived experience, so many gifts, and I feel that really stepping into midlife is a time to embrace your big why, your purpose, and so I love to have speakers that can inspire women to reflect on that. Yeah, that's great.
Michele Folan:
And I will encourage everyone to check out Gabriella's podcast. It is called Pleasure and the Pause, so I do have one. Well, one or two more questions for you. I'm curious what one of your core pillars of self-care is.
Gabriella Espinosa:
Well, of course it's prioritizing pleasure. I feel it's not selfish or indulgent. So making time to bring awareness to the things that bring you pleasure and how they make you feel. So it can be anything. You know, that first cup of coffee in the morning, that walk out in nature and then really asking yourself, what do I feel when I taste or smell that first cup of coffee in the morning? What are my eyes taking in as I walk through nature? How does it feel to move my body, my body?
Gabriella Espinosa:
And so when we bring mindful awareness to the things that bring us pleasure, we make more available to us throughout our day. It's our own kind of self-pleasure practice, right? So it doesn't have to be focused on sexual pleasure or anything having to do with the genitals. It can really be about those things that make you feel alive and just light you up from the inside out and really make those your focus, noticing how they make you feel. And when you do that, you literally are creating new pathways in your brain, new pleasure pathways, as I call them, that really open the field of possibility to experience other forms of pleasure with a partner, with yourself, and when you do this it really ripples out so beautifully into other aspects of your life, into your work, into your creativity, into your relationships, how you show up in the world. So I feel prioritizing pleasure is fundamental to how we show up in the world.
Michele Folan:
Nice, I like that a lot. One last question how can listeners find you, your coaching? How can listeners find you, your coaching and your podcast?
Gabriella Espinosa:
So my coaching platform is gabriellaespinosa. com, so my full name, and there you can find all of my coaching platform access to my courses and classes. And then my podcast is Pleasure in the Pause. com, and there you see all the podcast conversations that I've been having. There's some solo casts there also that I have. There's some blogs there and you can access the podcast on all podcasting platforms. And you can find me on social media at Gabriella Espinosa.
Michele Folan:
Wonderful. I will put all that in the show notes. Gabriella Espinosa, thank you so much for being a guest today and good luck with the podcast.
Gabriella Espinosa:
Oh, thank you so much. It's been a pleasure being here with you today, Michelle so much.
Michele Folan:
It's been a pleasure being here with you today, Michelle. Follow Asking for a Friend on social media outlets and provide a review and share this show wherever you get your podcasts, reviews and sharing help us grow.