Ep.105 From Confusion to Clarity: A Midlife Tale of Health and Empowerment

When my midlife health and wellness took a troubling turn in my fifties, I went on my own search to find answers to get my body back and feel good again. My journey sits at the heart of our latest episode, joined by the resilient Stephanie Shaw, who shares her bewildering health crisis. Stephanie's tale is a stark reminder of the crucial role self-advocacy plays, especially when navigating the murky waters of perimenopause and menopause. Together, we peel back the layers of a holistic approach to health that is more than a mere trend—it's a lifeline for many.

Stephanie's experience is a powerful case study in collaborative healthcare's potential, where chiropractors, physical therapists, and nutritionists converge to map out a path to recovery. The revelation of a zyto test opened her eyes to the unique dietary needs of her body, paving the way for a tailored nutrition plan that alleviated her perimenopause symptoms and reinvigorated her life. We also dissect the challenges and victories of weight management in midlife, offering hope and strategies that defy conventional wisdom.

Closing out the episode, we spotlight the launch of "Hello Hot Flash," where a menopause coach is set to demystify the menopause transition for listeners worldwide. I share my personal reflections on stress, anxiety, and the transformative power of self-care routines, with a nod to the diversity in practices that help us find balance. Whether you're lifting weights or lifting your spirits with scripture, this episode invites you to redefine midlife as a time of empowerment and holistic wellness. 

You can find Stephanie Shaw and her Hello, Hot Flash Podcast at:
https://www.hellohotflash.com/
https://www.instagram.com/hellohotflashpodcast/
https://www.facebook.com/hellohotflashpodcast

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Are you ready to reclaim your midlife body and health? I went through my own personal journey through menopause, the struggle with midsection weight gain, and feeling rundown. Faster Way, a transformative six-week group program, set me on the path to sustainable change. I'd love to work with you! Let me help you reach your health and fitness goals.
https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=MicheleFolan

Have questions about Faster Way? Feel free to reach out.
mfolanfasterway@gmail.com

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Transcript

Michele Folan: 0:00

At the age of 59, I wasn't looking or feeling my best. I had low energy, I was tired all the time and I was losing muscle, gaining fat, and what I had done in the past for my diet and exercise were no longer serving me. I wanted to do better for myself and started doing some research and landed on the Faster Way. This science-based nutrition and fitness program is like no other. It includes both food guidance and daily workouts that are tailored to fit your goals, and it's perfect for midlife women. I'm excited to start working with clients and introduce you to a sustainable, healthy lifestyle that can lay the foundation for this next phase of life. Are you ready to prioritize you? Check the show notes of this episode and let's connect.

Michele Folan: 0:52

Now on to the show Health, wellness, fitness and everything in between. We're removing the taboo from what really matters in midlife. I'm your host, michelle Follin, and this is Asking for a Friend. Welcome to the show. Everyone, you are in a major health crisis. You're unable to work or even drive a car. You spend thousands of dollars on doctors and tests to no avail, but it ends up not being an unidentified awful disease after all, and it certainly wasn't all in your head. Stephanie Shaw finally figured out what had been plaguing her health and her mental well-being, and now she helps other women who are struggling to find the answers. Welcome to Asking for a Friend, stephanie Shaw.

Stephanie Shaw: 1:54

Thank you, Michelle.

Michele Folan: 1:55

I'm so excited to be here. Well, it's nice to see you again. You and I chatted, I think, at the end of the year, in 2023. So it's been a while. Yeah, I know.

Stephanie Shaw: 2:06

It has been so.

Michele Folan: 2:07

I'm glad we were finally able to make this happen. I gave just a little brief overview of your story. It's fascinating and I would love for you to share a little bit about what was going on with your health and how and when you finally were able to figure things out.

Stephanie Shaw: 2:32

Yeah, when you're reading it I'm like, who is that woman? She had a lot of issues. That woman was me and a little bit about my background. So I spent 20 years in corporate, 10 years running an education nonprofit and toward the end of that nonprofit I started having some what I now know as perimenopausal symptoms, but I pushed them off and everything kind of all hit the fan on March 23rd 2017.

Stephanie Shaw: 3:01

I was walking down the street in New Orleans. I was about I don't know why I wanted to go to Bourbon Street, like I don't party or anything I'm like, but I'm in New Orleans, I need to go. So I, physically, was about to step my foot onto Bourbon Street and my jaw was numb, my hands began to tingling and I thought I was going to have a stroke. So before the end of that night, I ended up in two different ERs. On top of not knowing what was going on, I was with a coworker, which she's a lovely woman, but it wasn't like I was with family, so that added to the intensity of it.

Stephanie Shaw: 3:35

And then, over the course of two years, I had a little bit of everything. So my hair was falling out, twitching in my eyes, tingling in my hands and feet phantom smell. So some days I'd smell gas, some days I'd smell maple syrup, rapid heartbeat. There was a ton of different things going on. So over those two years I ended up going to 18 different doctors, two world-renowned medical facilities and spending over $20,000 out of pocket.

Stephanie Shaw: 4:05

And the most frustrating part is like no one could give me an answer, like I didn't want a diagnosis, to be honest, but you know, kind of in your head you're like okay, if it's X, y, z, then we can just deal with it. It was not only was it bad, it was different every day. So I was confusing the doctors and confusing myself, which ultimately led to anxiety and to me not being able to drive for about two months. So I was dependent on my husband, my 70 plus year old mom, and then my youngest son was still at home. So it was a traumatic two years and during that time I just really started to go deep on nutrition and what that all looked like. And that's how I was able to.

Michele Folan: 4:47

To get to the other side, Were you feeling dismissed during this time? I mean, were people thinking you were crazy or that this was all in your head?

Stephanie Shaw: 4:56

Yeah, so I felt I was being dismissed, but I wouldn't let myself be dismissed if you can understand that.

Stephanie Shaw: 5:03

So, like I went in the doctor's office and I knew they probably assumed I was crazy because like I would go from an ophthalmologist to which, luckily, a couple of these people were friends, so they listened to me maybe a little bit more. But ophthalmologist, gynecologist, cardiologist, physical therapist, what's the sports medicine doctor? The orthopedic? Yeah, I went to an orthopedic surgeon because the stress was sitting on my neck so I couldn't move my neck back and forth that's why I wasn't driving the gynecologist, because my cycles are heavy and odd and every other week and the ophthalmologist for the twitching eyes. So I was going back and forth and I felt I did feel dismissed, but again, I wouldn't allow myself to be dismissed.

Stephanie Shaw: 5:50

So part of the work that I do is helping women understand how they begin to advocate for themselves and that's what I did. So every time I went to a doctor's appointment, if they didn't have the records, I had the records in my hand and then I had a list of very clear questions. Plus I kept track like, okay, this day I ate this. And I felt this way, which I think made them even more confused. But there was a pattern that luckily I was picking up on because food, stress, things that were going on in my life were all part of me being able to solve what was actually going on, so that journaling. It didn't really help when I went to the doctor's office, but it helped me be that detective to understand better what was going on in my body.

Michele Folan: 6:37

I'm really curious, Stephanie, if at this point did anyone recommend hormone replacement to get relief from any of these symptoms that you were having.

Stephanie Shaw: 6:48

No, because, no one ever mentioned perimenopause or menopause or postmenopause. No one ever mentioned what was actually going on, including my gynecologist at that time. So no, so HRT was not mentioned. And the way that I operate, I always try to figure out how to use food and supplements and whatever there is in the dirt, in the soil to help heal my body. So I probably would not have been the best candidate because I would have been like, no, I can't, but recognizing that that is an option for some women. But yeah, no one suggested it because the idea that this was perimetopausal was not coming up. That's again why I kept you know if, if I'm at the ophthalmologist, I'm like my eyes twitching but I also have rapid heartbeat, he would just refer me to a cardiologist who, when I went there, I'm like, oh, my rapid heartbeat, but you know, my sciatic is bothering me too would refer me to a physical therapist. So I just, is bothering me too. Would refer me to a physical therapist. So I just I was being bounced around.

Stephanie Shaw: 7:55

There was no strategy or coming together of the physicians until I had a physical therapist who I'd gone to for probably about six months and a chiropractor and I befriended both of them, befriended their staffs and the chiropractor. She liked me so much. She still loves me. She's awesome. She took it upon herself to make a lunch meeting with the physical therapist so they could talk about me and help come up with a plan to help me feel better. So it was the grace of God that they had that conversation because it did help me move forward. But I know that's not. That doesn't ultimately become everyone's story, but that was part of my story. When the doctors start talking to each other and got out of their own zone of what they quote unquote only should be working in, they looked at me holistically. That's when I was able to start to recover some.

Michele Folan: 8:43

You talk a little bit about diet and it was an important part of you adjusting to this new normal. Yeah, exactly what did that look like? How did you kind of nail down your nutrition during this time?

Stephanie Shaw: 9:00

Yeah. So I had two chiropractors one out of state, one in state. I had two physical therapists an acupuncturist and someone that did dry needling. So it's kind of like I was going back and forth deciding who was going to give me the best path. Well, the out-of-state chiropractor was also a naturopathic doctor, so I did, after spending the $20,000, I ended up spending $200 on a, a test and it was called a ZYTO test. It's simply a urine test, but it tells you which nutrients are deficient in your body my micronutrients and it also tells you what foods you may be sensitive to. So not an allergy, just sensitive to.

Stephanie Shaw: 9:42

So I had to actually heal my gut in order for my overall healing to start to take place. So that one test gave me a list of foods that I could or could not eat and things like apples, certain beans, certain nuts and there are really common things pineapples, bananas, cabbage. There are things that you would not have thought about. They weren't right for me at that time. So I yes, I use nutrition was 100, about 90% of the natural way that I ended up healing my body. I cut out all of those foods and then I started to focus on eating really fresh, whole foods. I wasn't eating meat before, but I like double.

Stephanie Shaw: 10:23

I went more vegan versus vegetarian at that time. I would take my food to public events. I always say my cousin had a huge wedding at the time and I politely took my lunch to the 250 person and ate my lunch at the wedding. I got very serious and very focused because I had been sick for so long. So when I started eating balanced macronutrients protein, carbohydrates, fats that were not only good for me but also good for my health, that's when I started to see a change in the outcomes, and those are just things that I've worked with people on as well, because a lot of times as we age, we want to pull away from fats or from the carbohydrates, but those are the things that we really need for our brain health. We need those things in order to function well. We need to also make sure that, as women, we're getting enough protein in our diet. So once I got all of that balanced and figured out what was upsetting my gut health, I was able to move forward.

Michele Folan: 11:19

Yeah, it's really fascinating because I think we immediately default to hormone replacement therapy and I'm on, I'm on HRT, so I'm I'm very open about that. But you know, I like this holistic approach. I think it's it's probably a great message for any woman in midlife to dial in on that. You know, because I think we often complain about our muffin top and the. You know the weight that we're gaining in our middle, but you seem to think that you know the nutrition was directly tied to the severity of your perimenopause symptoms. I am curious, stephanie, what eating like this has done to your weight, like your overall body composition. Have you seen changes?

Stephanie Shaw: 12:12

Yeah, so well, I'll be honest with you. I teach women how to do what I did, so the macronutrients eating more healthy. And then we uncover what sensitivities may be in the body healthy, and then we uncover what sensitivities may be in the body. And then I teach them to strategically begin to do this on a slow basis so you can build habits. I didn't do that for myself. So, because I've been sick for so long and I'm like boom, I'm going hardcore, I'm doing it at 100%. So, honestly, for me, I initially lost a ton of weight. I'm small, my frame is small.

Stephanie Shaw: 12:49

When I say a ton of weight, for me, seven to 10 pounds makes a huge difference, like in my face and my whole body. So for me I lost over 10 pounds, to the point that one of my sons called my mom. He's like I know mom has cancer. She just won't tell us. We need to know so we can start working through it. It was, you know it. That's how my, my body looked differently. So for me, it allowed me to lose weight and then I was able to pull everything back together and be a more healthy way.

Stephanie Shaw: 13:20

Right now I'm I'm. You know, it's always that three, five pound kind of thing. But what I've also learned is's not about the three to five pounds Like I have. So now that I feel as if my gut is well, my gut is healed, because my gut is now healed and I am living a more healthy lifestyle, I'm doing more self-care, journaling and meditating and so forth I don't think about well, I'll lie if I say I never think about the weight.

Stephanie Shaw: 13:46

Because my son's getting married this summer, I'm like, oh, I've got to fit in a dress. But on the day to day the weight doesn't become an issue, because now I have joy and have peace and I'm more calm and family relationships are better and I'm not my hormones aren't all crazy where I'm like yelling and stressed out. So that is way more important than the weight and that's why I'd like for everyone to start thinking about that. This is like an amazing time of your life. I'm like I know when not to shut my mouth. You know what I mean. You can solve a lot of problems just by not saying anything. The wisdom that comes along with the age is what I would like for people to start to focus on. But yeah, I've seen some fluctuations in weight, but I try to focus primarily on all of the other benefits that eating this way has brought to me.

Michele Folan: 14:34

Yeah, and I love this message because it wasn't just about healing your gut and finding foods that worked for you, but reducing your stress and also speaking your mind, you know, being more forthright about not just your physical issues but communication with people around you. So you know, I know I love this. I love this time of life. I wouldn't pass this moment up for anything, right? No?

Stephanie Shaw: 15:07

I do occasionally say that I want to go back to my freshman year in high school because I would probably pick a different. Like I would have a naturopathic degree at this point or functional medicine. Like if I would have known all of this back in the 80s, that would have been so amazing. That's the only reason I would go back, only for the education piece. But for everything else, life and everything that's gone on this right here, is the best time of life, I believe.

Michele Folan: 15:33

Now, Stephanie, you know it's never too late.

Stephanie Shaw: 15:36

I know. I know, I know, I know, I mean, I have my master's degree, my MS, but I, um, I really would have like man, I wish I would have known about functional medicine back in the 80s, because back then we thought hippies did it. You know, oh, those are hippie people, they're the smart people, yeah, yeah.

Michele Folan: 16:00

Well, and you know, I grew up with a dad who was an MD and even back then in the early years, chiropractic was even kind of voodoo right. It still is to some people, to some people, but a lot of the medical doctors that I know refer to chiropractors. So I think we've come a long way in regard to that. Are you surprised how many women are coming forward and asking for your help and that their stories are so relatable?

Stephanie Shaw: 16:34

Yeah, I am so and honestly, that's why I'm doing the work that I'm doing. I hid mine for the entire year. So my immediate family knew so my, my husband, my kids, my parents and my board chair, because I was running a nonprofit at the time. So I let John know. But I'm like, can we not tell anyone that I don't know what's going on with me? And then the employees that I had, of course they knew, because I was at the doctor and one was on the trip with me.

Stephanie Shaw: 17:03

So when I, after I, started talking about it and then started to hear other stories, I'm like man, there has to be. I have to share what happened so that no one else has two years. I need to tell you like immediately if you do this, this, this and this, you will not need to have two years of a struggle. If you ask these questions when you're at the doctor's office, this can help you move forward. So, yeah, I'm very surprised that so many women are having similar issues that I had and that it's 2024 and we're really just now starting to talk about it at this level. It's sad, actually, I'm very sad.

Michele Folan: 17:47

Yes, yeah it is, but again, it's because we're talking about it. You know, Halle Berry just this week came forward and said her doctor had told her she had horrible herpes and it was actually perimenopause. Yeah, and she's, and it was actually perimenopause, yeah. The more that these high profile women come forward and talk about it openly like this, it really does help everyone and open up the discussion. You have a podcast.

Stephanie Shaw: 18:19

That has to happen. I'm sorry, I was just gonna say that saddens me that that has to happen. I'm grateful for it, but I'm saddened by the fact that that has to happen in order for our voice as women to be heard. Like it, you know, we're not listened to enough, so especially when it comes to our health, Correct, Correct, and.

Michele Folan: 18:38

And you started a podcast. It's called Hello Hot Flash. When did you decide? Okay, I I like the coaching piece. Now I feel like a podcast is in order.

Stephanie Shaw: 18:52

Yes, so my undergrad degree is in telecommunications, so I've done some TV and radio work in the past. So it felt like a natural fit, and I don't know why, but the more podcasters I listen or talk to one-on-one they're like I'm an introvert. I don't know if it's the introvert's way to stay closed off but yet still have some buddies. I'm not sure why, but so that's kind of the side in my mind. I'm like, oh, this is an opportunity to meet and engage with people. But also I had started to build a network of women who were really smart. They knew about bioidentical versus compounded HRT. They understood what to do when you had vaginal dryness. They understood all of that stuff.

Stephanie Shaw: 19:42

And I thought, if I'm having these conversations with these very intelligent women from around the world, why am I not sharing this information with everyone? So I'm setting the podcast up or this podcast is set up. So just that happened. So it's not like you only can talk to your gynecologist or your girlfriend. Now you have access to all of this very relevant information on perimenopause and also postmenopause and then just life in general. That information that we need is meant by women.

Michele Folan: 20:12

Yeah, and I've looked at, well, I've listened to your podcast, but I've also looked at some of your other episodes as well, and you really do cover the gamut of topics that are super relevant. There was one thing I wanted to back up and talk about and that is the role of anxiety in perimenopause and menopause, because those heart palpitations are real. No, I've had them. I've had them recently. They haven't gone away, even with HRT and being 60. Do you have any suggestions of ways for women to manage that anxiety and that stress that comes with this time of life?

Stephanie Shaw: 20:59

I think one of the things I didn't do and I've recommended to quite a few women is understand where the stress is coming from, because often we'll make an assumption oh, we just do what we do. We go to work 40 to 50 hours per week. We come home, clean the house, cook, take care of our spouse, our kids, our grandkids. We just do it all, and that's the way it is. That's the way it has to be, and that's the way it is. That's the way it has to be. And then sometimes you will find that hidden in all of that are certain things that may be triggering stress or causing your cortisol hormones to stay at 100 all of the time. I always recommend, just like I did when I went to the doctor I tracked everything and I kind of journaled my way back to health. I journaled my way through stress as well. When I started to see a pattern, I'm like, oh man, every time I'm in this person's presence or every time this person and I have a conversation, I didn't even realize I had worse sciatic pain, like that whole next week or that next day or what have you, because I was making that comparison, I was finding my own data. So that's what I encourage people to do. First step figure out what where the anxiety is coming from. So my stress was coming from two people. My anxiety was coming because I couldn't figure out why I was sick. But again, I had to map all of that out and I think one thing that we can do is recognize that and you guys heard this 5 million times because it's the buzzword put on your own oxygen mask first, you know, take care of yourself. But I say it in a joking way. Yet it is very serious because prior to this, I really did think that people took care of themselves, were selfish, Like I have a story that I clearly remember sitting in the bridal room at our church and everyone's going around talking about what they did for themselves. Like one woman went to the movies once a week by herself. One woman went out to get her nails done, not just for her nails, but just so she could get away. I'm like, oh my goodness, they're so selfish. Is their house clean? Are the kids being taken care of? Like I'm going through all of that crazy me and yet they're thriving. So I had to flip that script and recognize the only way that I could thrive is if I started to put some self-care practices in place. So I also recommend that people understand what that looks like to them.

Stephanie Shaw: 23:21

Going to the movies every week by myself I don't think that's. For me, that's not self-care. But sitting alone, quietly reading a book, sitting out by my pond, or just anything like that. To me that's self-care. Other women it may be. I need, you know, 10 of my friends over and we just need to go out to dinner and laugh, figure out what self-care really is and then start to implement that. Maybe you can only do it once per month, then maybe it's every other week.

Stephanie Shaw: 23:46

You will see that stress and anxiety that you have slowly begin to release and slowly begin to go away. It was so crazy. I'm like, oh, why did someone tell me this earlier? Just by taking time to myself. I'm like not all stressed out and anxious about everything. Just by taking time to myself. I'm like not all stressed out and anxious about everything, because I have those moments where I can actually reflect on what's important.

Stephanie Shaw: 24:10

And as it related to stress, I also began having some bold conversations, and I did them strategically, so I didn't just get in someone's face and say you're making me sick, you make my sciatic hurt and giving me a pain in the neck. So what I did was understood. I actually sat down like, dotted out where they are in life, where I am, this is what they're going to probably say to me. That's going to hurt my feelings. So how am I going to respond? And then, kind of I like played the role of both people preparing for that conversation. And then when I had the conversation it went both conversations they went so smoothly. It's like it was totally different than just immediately going at someone. So those those couple of things for stress and anxiety, I have seen them work for myself and for others as well. We we just first have to recognize where it's coming from.

Michele Folan: 25:07

I love that idea of my thumbs really hurt. So what is going on in my life right now that is making my thumbs hurt? And actually that is a true thing. That happens to me when I get super stressed out. I have arthritis in my thumbs. It flares up and I know it. Now I can identify those things, but you almost have to catalog it, journal it and you may start to see some patterns with that. So this is super great advice. Stephanie, I love this. You obviously are a menopause coach, so how do you work with clients?

Stephanie Shaw: 25:48

Yeah. So clients can come to me and we work together for six months and we go through this four-step process called Meno. So we work on mindset what does it really look like during this time? And how to get you prepared emotionally and physically for the changes that are going to take place over the next six months that we're together and hopefully over your lifetime. Then we focus on exercise, because sometimes people will over exercise during this time not exercise at all, they'll do cardio but not lift weights and talking about why each part has a place and how important lifting weights is for women, and then just start to build really small habits.

Stephanie Shaw: 26:30

Our goal is not to run a marathon. Our goal is to walk for 10 minutes per day, you know, initially, and then maybe we're adding a few minutes and then maybe we're lifting two pounds and then perhaps we get up to 10 pounds. So walking through all of that and then educating women on why it's important because people can tell you to do things. But if you don't really understand that, you know as you age, if you fall, your chances of survival over the first year of falling is X. Or if you're not building strong, healthy bones and your muscles aren't strong and you're not flexible. Xyz can happen, osteoporosis and so forth. So education is really huge and we talk about exercise. Then nutrition, again, we talked a little bit earlier about people assuming that they should cut carbs or that they need to fast, for you know, 20 hours out of the day and so forth. Our body, all of our bodies are different period, and our bodies are different for us than they were when we were 20. So, understanding where your body is now and what you can handle. So one of my clients, um, Lee Ann, actually she was doing that little short one about eat six hour, eat between six, you know, I think it was noon and 6 PM and she was exercising like a maniac, she was working out, she had a trainer and so forth and could not lose weight. For over a year we did the opposite. We worked on nutrition, had her eating a ton more food and then pulled back on the exercise and in three weeks she lost seven pounds. She's like I don't know how this happened. I'm like cause you were fighting your body, so educating people on that happen. I'm like because you were fighting your body, so educating people on that. And then the last piece of that minnow is optimization. That is so important Because, again, we talked about how now we are, this is our power mode. We were wise. We, you know, race.

Stephanie Shaw: 28:15

A lot of us have raised children. Sometimes we're helping raise our children's children. We, you know, gone through different relationships. We had a bunch of bosses we had to tolerate. Like, how do you harness all of that knowledge and information that you now have and then decide what you're going to do with it? Are you going to change careers? I had a client also that she was like she went through. We were working together, she had an opportunity to retire early and then she just said it just feels right now, because I have everything else in place, I need to. Now that I have more energy and I've lost this weight, I need to live the next part of my life more free and out of this workplace. So, optimizing what is going on right then and then deciding what you want to do with the next chapter, because the next chapter is beautiful. I'm so excited I'll be 55 this summer.

Michele Folan: 29:06

I'm like you look terrific and I love your. You said 60. I'm like it's real, it's 60. I know, I know, I know you talk about making changes. I resigned from my job recently. Yeah, my last day was a week ago. Oh, wow, congratulations, thank you, and I'm I'm onto my next little project and I haven't haven't totally announced it yet, but I just feel, much like your client does, that you know I need this time for me and to do some things that are important to me. You know I've been working for 42 years and it's time right and you know it when it's time. You know I may not have been ready to do this even two years ago, but I think there's this calling and I, but we, we have this confidence at this time of life. Yeah, and, and and that is, that's the beautiful gift that we're given in in midlife.

Stephanie Shaw: 30:22

Is that confidence, to say that we're given in midlife is that confidence to say you know what I can do this, yeah, yeah. And part of that optimization is building that confidence because while we have it, some women still don't. There may not be confidence by what's inside and or what's going on outside. So helping build that confidence I'm happy you said that that's all a part of this as well. Yeah, exciting.

Michele Folan: 30:45

I would love for you to share one of your pillars of self-care like something that you do that is important to you and a non-negotiable yeah, spending time in the Word, spending time reading my Bible and praying and listening to worship music, so like non-negotiable.

Stephanie Shaw: 31:06

I don't care. I mean, there's a few mornings I'll get up and I'll be like, oh, I don't have time, but I will at least read a scripture, you know, real quick, if I have to and those are very few, far between. If I do not start my day with God, my day does not start right. And then I even beat myself up, which I know is not fair and should not be done, because he has tons of grace for us. But I'm like, oh, I didn't spend enough time or I need to do this. So throughout the day, if I feel like I haven't spent enough time, there's worship music blasting in the background, blasting in my car.

Stephanie Shaw: 31:42

That is a non-negotiable. And I always talk about the exercise, the nutrition, the self-care and so forth. But and I talk about the nutrition that healed my body, but at the very core of it, it was that relationship and me being able to study the bible and go back to the word of God and know what he says about my healing and know that he knit me together in my mother's womb. That is really what is the core of the reason why I know my body was healed and I was able to get some solutions early.

Michele Folan: 32:13

And it's that piece of gratitude. Yes, that connection, that spiritual connection that you have, is also about gratitude.

Stephanie Shaw: 32:24

It really is yeah you're right, you had.

Stephanie Shaw: 32:27

So I, when I was sick, during that whole time, I'm like, okay, I, every once in a while I'm like I need 60 seconds to complain, and I would, and it would make me laugh, cause it was, you know, like setting up the moment to complain. But my thought process was through that entire two years, was like, oh, wow, you have something really good for me, cause I'm like Job right now, like I'm not my skin wasn't falling off, but I'm feeling like Job right now. So you must have something really good in the end for me. So, yeah, that you're the way you think about what you out. No, that's what I say Think about what you think about. And if you put, even if you're going through a struggle right now, you don't have the confidence, you can't optimize this time of year, you're, you're suffering with the hot flashes and so forth. Start to focus on all of the things that you should be grateful for, as you just said, michelle, and that completely starts to shift your perspective. It helps with the stress and anxiety as well.

Michele Folan: 33:27

Absolutely. Stephanie Shaw, I would love for you to share where the listeners can find your podcast and also your coaching.

Stephanie Shaw: 33:35

Yes, so if you go to my website hellohotflashcom, you can find everything. There are a ton of free resources on there. You can get access to the podcast and then you can learn a little bit more about my coaching.

Michele Folan: 33:51

Stephanie Shaw. Thank you so much for being here today on Asking for a Friend. Thank you so much, Michelle.

Stephanie Shaw: 33:58

I appreciate you.

Michele Folan: 34:02

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