Asking for a Friend - Health, Fitness & Personal Growth Tips for Women in Midlife

Ep.101 Navigating Midlife Health: Empowering Women with Smart Choices and Self-Care

April 22, 2024 Michele Henning Folan Episode 101
Asking for a Friend - Health, Fitness & Personal Growth Tips for Women in Midlife
Ep.101 Navigating Midlife Health: Empowering Women with Smart Choices and Self-Care
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

When was the last time you went to the doctor and felt like you had a true champion in your corner? Someone rooting you on to not only improve your biomarkers and lose a few pounds, but a health care provider who gets excited for your small health wins and encourages you to live your healthiest life, not only in words but by example. Meet Dr. Tolu Olabintan.

Tolu's journey from Nigeria to the U.S. has infused her medical practice with deep empathy. We dissect the challenges and strategies for women's fitness, nutrition, and overall well-being, and we explore the 'whys' and 'hows' of maintaining an active lifestyle and managing cravings, packaging wisdom from personal struggles into actionable advice.

Imagine starting each day grounded in a routine that fuels your body and mind, ready to face the world with a go-getter attitude. This episode peels back the layers on how such morning rituals, consistent self-care, and a thirst for knowledge, can shape our health. Dr. Olabintan's story emphasizes the power of epigenetics, where our daily habits speak directly to our genes, influencing our health in profound ways. Join us as we illuminate the connection between our lifestyle choices and the legacy we leave in our DNA.

Wrapping up with a passionate call to action, we underscore the need for comprehensive health screenings tailored to the unique challenges of midlife. We share tips on navigating the maze of medical tests, the importance of patient involvement, and how to tackle stress and sleep disruptions head-on. You can check out Tolu's YouTube channel where she interviews doctors from around the world.

Tune in to hear: 
- Why Dr. Olabintan encourages a "brain dump" to help with stress and anxiety 
- What bloodwork to ask for at your next appointment
- Upgrading and being intentional about your "thought life" 

You can find Dr. Tolu Olabintan at:
https://www.livingspringmedicals.com/
https://www.youtube.com/@dr.tolulopeolabintanmd62
https://www.instagram.com/dr_olabintanmd/
https://www.facebook.com/Eniabire

I'd love to work with you! Let me help you reach your health and fitness goals.
https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=MicheleFolan

Have questions about Faster Way? Feel free to reach out.
mfolanfasterway@gmail.com

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This podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional healthcare services, including the giving of medical advice. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

Michele Folan:

If you are a midlife woman who's frustrated because you're trying to lose body fat, but what you've done in the past is no longer touching that muffin top Perhaps you're struggling to manage your sugar cravings or evening snacking. You want to build muscle, stay active and be mobile well into your later years? Well, listen, I have been in your shoes and can share a program with coaching and accountability to keep you on track, with daily at-home workouts and macro-based meal plans that produce sustainable results. All you need to do is decide that you are worth it and that you want to control the narrative. And how do I know this will work for you? I was a client and loved my results so much that I became a coach. Just go to the show notes of this episode and let's connect. I'd love to tell you more and work with you as your certified coach.

Michele Folan:

Now on to the show Health, wellness, fitness relationships and everything in between. We're removing the taboo from what really matters in midlife. I'm your host, Michelle Follin, and this is Asking for a Friend. When was the last time you went to the doctor and felt like you had a true champion in your corner, someone rooting for you, but not only to improve your biomarkers and lose weight, but a healthcare provider who gets excited for your health, wins and encourages you to live your healthiest life, not just in words, but by example. Meet Dr Tolu Olabintan. She is the fangirl we all need to cheer when we win and pick us up when we don't cross the finish line. Welcome to Asking for a Friend, Dr Tolu Olabintan.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Oh, thank you so much for having me on. I'm honored and delighted to be on.

Michele Folan:

Well, and I heard you on another podcast and I love your approach, and so I thought this would be a great opportunity for you to talk a little bit about what you do. But first of all, I would love for you to tell the audience a little bit about where you're from and your career path audience a little bit about where you're from and your career path.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I am originally from Nigeria. I was born there in the western part, and I lived there till I was 15. I moved here. My parents' idea was to have me come here get a better education, and he had friends here who had encouraged the transition, and so parents brought me over. I've always known I like to take care of people, so at first I thought maybe nursing would be for me because I like their uniforms better. But then I saw that it was the doctors that told the nurses what to do, and I was like you know what? I think I like that one better.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

So medicine became a natural longing or something I worked towards. And then I lost my aunt. She was in her 20s shortly after her wedding, to an asthma attack oh my goodness. And so I think that I remember that day. That kind of sealed it for me. Not like that, no, that's, I want to do medicine. There has to be a better way, and care has always been something that defined me. So I like caring for people. I like, I like to be part of the equation to help someone feel better. It is a little bit, and so medicine allows me to do that as part of my job, and so went to did high school, did sciences, did undergrad, pre-med, biochem, took a year break and then went to medical school. And then here we are. How many years later now, since med school, about 17,. 18 years later, I'm still doing medicine.

Michele Folan:

Did you go through the citizenship process?

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Yes, I did. That was interesting. Initially it was not the plan, it was just to do studies and then go back, but it worked out this way and then, yes, I am a citizen here.

Michele Folan:

What was that process like? For you to go through the citizenship process, be studying, going through your residency, all that stuff. I mean you were super busy. How did that all work within your life?

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I'll be honest with you. The initial cultural shocks are adapted to a new culture that is more expressive and more. Yeah, it was tough. I'll be honest with you. I grew up in a culture where, you know, you couldn't talk back to elders. You respected the elderly by virtue of their age. Elders, you respected the elderly by virtue of their age, not because of their social ranking. You, you're not really allowed to fully express your thoughts. You had to curtail it to the circumstances you were in.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

And then coming here, and I recount one of the one of the worst days of my life to date there was a student it was high school, my first year here, and she told the teacher to shut up and I got up with holy indignation. How they hit. Like how dare you? Because to me that was. I mean, even now I cringe, but not as much as I did then I was, and I think that was the day I committed what I call social like. I was like how could you talk to her like that? That was so rude, and so of course I was ostracized. You don't to her like that. That was so rude, and so of course I was ostracized. You don't do that.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

So just learning the environment. That was different and you know I grew up in an environment where I was well-known and so come to a new place. But one of the things that has helped me do is to understand people better and be in their shoes better when they're uncomfortable or where they feel they stand out or where they feel you know I don't belong. So it's helped me be who I am today. Those experiences Were there. Challenges, yes, but life is full of challenges. It's guaranteed to have challenges. You just make the most of it, and for me, being a doctor is much more than a career path. It's a calling. So you do the things needed to get there and I had a good support system.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I'll be honest with you through each phase, through each season, on my way here.

Michele Folan:

Well, I know your parents are there with you right now and they must be so incredibly proud of you.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

They are, they don't hide it.

Michele Folan:

Well, they don't hide it. Well, that's so nice and, by the way, I hope that we all try to raise our kids to be respectful of their elders. I know I have really tried and I, you know, my kids are in their 20s and it does break my heart when I see kids that are disrespectful. It just, you know, just wasn't the way we were raised and I don't expect that type of behavior from my children either. So all we can do is do our best with, you know, those kids in our care, right.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I agree and you know, one of the things I find to be the truth is that I don't think people mean to be disrespectful. It's just we've got to understand the implications of our verbal communications, our nonverbal cues. Like I'm teaching my daughter, who's so excited, eager to grow up, and I said, when I say something to you and you eye roll and you do this, you communicate in disrespect. You don't mean to or you're sad, but you are communicating Like you may not think you are, you're actually like oh, I say, that's good enough, you're responsible for all your cues.

Michele Folan:

Yep.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Yes, you are?

Michele Folan:

Yes, you are, you know. One other thing and this is just kind of a side note too is I always try to be cognizant of when I'm having a conversation with someone and they're off, or you know they're in a mood or they may not be treating me well. I try to think. You talked about putting yourself in someone's shoes. Did they have an argument with someone that day? Are they not feeling well? Did they have a death in the family? You know you try to think about all the extenuating circumstances that can make somebody not behave in a normal or acceptable manner. So more about you.

Michele Folan:

I was excited to talk with you because I think it's good to get insight into how a doctor practices what they preach. So you're giving a lot of advice and encouragement to your patients. But what do you do in your personal life that you feel helps you again put yourself in your patient's shoes human.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I'm a doctor, but I'm a human too, and I emote. I have feelings. I also want to be appreciated. I want to be loved. I want to do better in my health, I want to live a good quality of life. So you know, between learning in medicine and learning even after going to school, I've committed to continue to learn ways to improve the quality of life for people. Now my niche is doing this on the platform of sincere care.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I believe in helping people live a better quality of life and quantity of life, because I believe how well you live is just as important as how long you live. And so I've seen what it feels like as a patient, and even watching or having patients over the years tell me how they felt, either at a practice I was at, how they felt belittled on their way in, or how they felt they were talked down or talked at. I've gone to doctor's offices where people don't know what I do, heard them talk about other patients and just feel like a bull, a number or an inconvenience, and so I know that people thrive best or they heal well when they know that they are cared for. Healing starts from that first impression, and so you know, sometimes I come back to the clinic and I tell my team like I'm very happy that I work with you because I just came from a clinic where I didn't feel so good on the way in. But I knew the doctors, she knows what I do. They don't know, and I don't ever want anyone to feel like that coming to our clinic. And so, with that in mind, it's helped me curate an atmosphere at my practice that, from the minute you walk in, oh you are excited to be there, from the colors, the music, the smile, because even if in the clinic we can't change your medical diagnosis, oh you leave knowing that you were cared for and that adds value to you. It's a ripple effect that ripples even in their world.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I've seen it happen over and over and over again. People just feel better. Like you know what? I came here, I just felt, I felt listened, I felt heard. In the end, if I'm honest, as a physician I didn't do much. I listened to you, I encourage you in your journey. Like it seemed like that was a burden to bear, but you don't have to be miserable through it. Here are things that add a little sparkle to your life and it's not all about. Let's act like everything'sdosy. It's like you have to live. You're living through this, so how can we make it a little better for you? A little bit, those experiences have helped me know what I don't you know. It's so funny.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I never thought I would open my own practice, never thought that. But I used to imagine like, hmm, yeah, that's something I wouldn't do. You know how. You say, as a mom, that when I'm a parent, it's funny that I do some of that now as a parent. But it had a running, almost like a running play in my mind that now if I ever were to have a place you know my own this I wouldn't allow or this I will allow. We got to do a better job of showing people care. It takes effort, it takes intentionality. I have a morning routine that I don't negotiate. I have to pray. I've sent to myself. I have to draw strength for my relationship with God. My faith is big because I can't pour from an empty cup. I can't.

Michele Folan:

Right yeah. What other things do you do that you feel are a good example to your patients?

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I read books, I listen to books. I'm constantly learning new ways that people can live better. I'm also lifestyle-aborted. I keep adding more titles to my not titles, but more knowledge to my old reminders, you know. And I also practice the things I'm talking about. I try new fruits and vegetables that I don't enjoy. I blend them, I freeze them, I chomp them, I slurp them. Same way I tell the patients too I make water a drink of choice for myself. So I drink water. I have a water bottle at my office. That reminds me. I encourage my team, I reward people with fruits and veggies. And then I'm also very big on my thought life. I guard my mental space as best as I can.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

The things I listen to are things I say to myself and I say to patients and tell them to go watch and be reminded who they are, their value, their worth. Sad, sometimes people may not recognize that, but you have to do that for yourself. So I exercise. I do a prayer walk every morning, most mornings for almost an hour, and I agree with team members, I'm not always excited to exercise. I don't enjoy the gym. People look stressed in there, they look angry. I go there, take a machine, do a little cute when I'm doing my thing and play with some machines, and yeah, you know, so I keep it real, so I do the things I tell my patients to do, and we talk about the different textures and like that. I'm like, yeah, I agree, but I know it's good for me, so I do it anyway. Yeah, yeah.

Michele Folan:

And it's hard. I mean. Well, first of all, you're leading by example, but not just with your patients, with your staff. So if they see you treating patients in a certain way, they will see that and I believe they'll emulate that. So I think that's super positive and something that you're doing really well. In terms of the food and that sort of thing, you're having to break habits that you may have a patient that's not had a great diet for 75 years and all of a sudden you're trying to change that paradigm of hey, it's never too late to change up the diet, and so I think that's one of those. Well, good luck with that.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

You know what's so interesting. Everyone is capable of change. It doesn't matter how old you are. It's when you see what's in it for you to the point where you're like you know what I'm willing to change for that what's in it for you, to the point where you're like you know what I'm willing to change for that. And a lot of times people say things like oh, my family diabetes runs and my family this, almost I can get them to see. Well, it may not be the actual disease, it may be the actual habit that runs in the family, that you could break the cycle. They're like ah, it's true. And then they see it, they feel better and they're like you know what it's worth it. So it became oh man, medicine has changed me, has taught me a lot. It has changed me too.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I used to be very like oh, labs are better. Yay, your a1c is great. Oh, your cholesterol, my goodness. And the patient is like okay, good for you. Now I'm like how do you feel on your joints? You're eating more fresh preservatives. Your number has come down. How do you feel? Do you have more energy? Are you sleeping better? Your skin it looks better. And you're like oh, yeah. So sometimes you just want to remind people that what they're doing is working to keep them encouraged to keep retaining these new habits. What's in it for you? It's not about my computer looking cute, no, Right yeah.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

That's the trick. That's one of the tricks I share with you there.

Michele Folan:

They may not understand the numbers, but the numbers may be a direct reflection of, like you said, how they feel, how they look. Oh, my goodness, I was able to take three laps around the neighborhood yesterday and I haven't done that in years. Right, you brought up something interesting, Dr O, when you were talking about maybe it's not your family history so much your family's health history. It may be the habits, and we've had that discussion before on the podcast. It's kind of that chicken or the egg. Do we inherit the bad lifestyle? Is it truly inheriting the genetics and maybe it's a combination of both? I think that's an interesting perspective that you have.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Yes, it's a combination, and now we're starting to understand something called epigenetics, that though you don't change your genetic makeup, you can actually not alter your genes, but tease your genes in a way that it works more for you than against you by changing your habits. We're starting to see that, and so the truth is, when I'm helping you eat better and saying I want to prevent a heart attack, you don't know the effects of what I've done down the line, but it's not worth trying to find out. There are many things that have been established over centuries that eating well, a plant based diet for the most part, that exercise and seated standing, whatever type, is good for you. Right, and so we'll see. I say encourage people to make that effort to change your lifestyles, to eat better, regardless of what their family history shows.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Some people say well, I'm due to this anyway because my father had this or my mother had this. But I've had patients outlive their parents, their grandparents. I've had them outlive stats. I've had people who have strong family history of dementia by some of their lifestyle changes actually reduce their risk. So the science is showing that that does happen. So let's not lean on it. It's not going to work anyway, it could be a family habit, not a family history, health history. It's a family habit that's just passing down the line that needs to be broken.

Michele Folan:

That was going to be one of my questions. Are there current recommendations for dementia and Alzheimer's prevention?

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

for dementia and Alzheimer's prevention. Sadly, once someone has dementia, it's hard to reverse right now, depending on the type. Now there's someone that's suited to dementia or depression, or there's a thyroid issue, or there's a B12 deficiency, or there's some electrolyte imbalance, or there's something that could be reversed to correct that. Or someone had a stroke, or someone had multiple strokes that were not caught. But we know for certain that certain things minimize or reduce the risk of dementia happening. Exercising is one. Eating fresh fruits and vegetables is another. Limiting exposure to too much electronics is another. Learning something new is another. Having a good Social network, even if they're Superficial interactions, those are very helpful too. And then doing things that are in line with your Purpose what you believe your purpose is Is actually known to minimize your risk of dementia. So we Know that. But the sweet spot is in the prevention, and it's doing it consistently right, and so we encourage our patients to do that, even as we're discovering more and more new modalities and treatment for dementia.

Michele Folan:

You know, I posted something on my story the other day and I can't remember who it was, but they were talking about just doing 10,000 steps a day can lower your risk of dementia by I was like 50%. I mean it was a huge number. So I reposted it because it doesn't have to be an hour and a half at the gym sweating your brains out. It can be 8,000 to 10,000 steps a day of just walking. That can make such a huge impact. So that's really interesting, the correlation there with dementia. There is a lot of coaching going on there right now about sugars in our diet and I want to ask you how you're addressing the extra sugar that people are getting in their diet and your practice.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I have a post called sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar. Because you know there's a brown sugar, the blue sugar, the green sugar, like, oh, I'm eating healthier sugar, like it's all sugar. And for my sweet tooth patient, I feel the most for them because you know, if you have a sweet tooth, that's tough. But understanding that the sugar, the high-quality syrup that's embedded in a lot of fruits oh, not fruits, but a lot of foods are placed there by what we call food engineering to keep you hooked on it. So I tell my patient I don't want you to be a fucker Like, I want you to know what's in.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

So if you're going to eat it, you know that, okay, I'm drinking this can of soda, this small can that has 48 grams of sugar. Now, five grams of sugar is one teaspoon. So I'm essentially saying I'm going to chow down about, let's see, 48 divided by five, about almost 10, 10 teaspoons of sugar as a little snack. Yeah, so it's opening my patient's eyes to say this is what you're doing. Now, if you like soda, that's tough. And I tell them oh, I can understand, I drink soda once a year, usually with a burger once a year as well. I open it, I take a sip and I'm like man, this is there's nothing better. I take a sip and I'm like man, this is good.

Michele Folan:

There's nothing better.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

And then I remember my why. I want to be 90 and look back on how I've blessed this planet, be surrounded by family and friends, knowing that I've done what God has asked me to do, and still able to tell people hey, you got to behave and still be able to do the things that matter to me. So this soda not worth it. It's rehashing that conversation in different pieces and a lot of my posts on social media is just the debacle. As a human, fighting cravings and urges, you know you're tired, you want something to soothe, you go for a soda, you go for something that's really sweet. So I teach them what else can you do outside of food? To self-suit, to give yourself a hug after a long day, maybe read a book? That's what actually got me reading more books, because I like to eat as much as I'm a physician, I'm a foodie too. I enjoy eating, but I eat healthy. But there are days where I'm tired and I tend to make poor choices. So it's let me address your what's going on. What are alternatives? I've also taught my patients about dried fruits, strawberries they're sweeter right when they're dehydrated. Or maybe drink a little water. Or freezing your chocolate so it can thaw and put some music, you know, let it melt in your mouth Like don't multitask when you're eating, enjoy the chocolate. You may not have to eat as much, you know. So it's keeping it real.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Before I used to be no, don't do this, don't do this. I'm like you know what. That's not reasonable. How can I help you make better choices? And every day is a new conversation, you know I'll share this story. I had a patient once who got really upset with me because the first day I met her, I told her to stop Dr Pepper. She was diabetic. Of course, I'll tell her to stop Dr Pepper. And she said you just met me. I love Dr Pepper. I've had a long-term relationship with Dr Pepper for decades and I was like you know what? I'm sorry. Can we cut it down to sweet tea, half and half? So we negotiated by doing the math. So it's many people where they are and little steps. I've never given up on people. I'm never getting tired of doing that, because some days I'm like are you listening?

Michele Folan:

Yeah, I've tried this managing a group of people. If you give them some buy in, give them some a little power in the relationship, then you're likely to get some behavioral change. You're a genius. Instead of saying you can't do this, you can't do this, you can't do this, and say can't do this, it's like, well, can we compromise, let's meet in the middle somewhere. And that's such a great start, right? I mean, we talk about sugar a lot on this platform and I think we had a pharmacist on and she was saying that the new American Heart Association maximum for women grams of sugar a day was 25 grams of sugar, added sugar. And when you look at what is just in a grande latte from Starbucks or, like you said, a 12-ounce can of soda, you've already surpassed that. And it's really trying to make that a visual for people so that they understand how much sugar is really in their food they're eating.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Yes, Even in condiments. There's sugar in ketchup. I love it. I'm like what?

Michele Folan:

Yeah, I was having this conversation with a family member who has psoriasis and I mentioned to him. I said there is a correlation there with high sugar intake. It can aggravate your psoriasis. And I mentioned to him, I said there is a correlation there with high sugar intake, it can aggravate your psoriasis. And he's like wait, I have a bowl of Froot Loops every night before I go to bed. I said oh you might want to cut that out because that's really not doing you any favors. But anyway, it's baby steps, right, Dr O?

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

That's right, it's baby steps.

Michele Folan:

Most of my listeners are midlife women and I think we've talked a little bit already about how do we best prepare ourselves to be a healthy 80 years old. But right now, when we go to our health care provider, what blood work should we be asking for? Because sometimes I think we need to kind of be in the driver's seat when it comes to managing our care?

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

And I'll be honest with you, most doctors don't have a a hard time, or you know, with ordinary tests it's just insurance coverage you get in the bill and getting upset. But I would say this for the most part at least get a cmp, so complete metabolic panel. Check your kidney function, your liver function, your electrolytes, check your vitamin d, because that's very important, even for mental health, for bone health and for kidney health. You want to check and screen for high cholesterol, because high cholesterol is linked to heart disease, linked to strokes. You want to also check your diabetes. You want to check for diabetes. Are you pre-diabetic, are you diabetic? You want to know where you are on that spectrum, not just oh no, diabetes, are you close? You also want to check your thyroid function function and I I tend to recommend that as a, because it's a metabolic hormone that regulates perfectly with burn calories and affect your temperature revelation as well. And I like to do the thyroid like the specific ones, not just a thyroid tsh with reflex. There's a reflex pattern. I like to look at a t3, the t4s, the tsh and see if there's something that's a little slowed. So those are the basic ones I tend to recommend. There are more specific ones that check for cholesterol. I also recommend your blood levels too, your CBC, so your complete blood count. Are you anemic? Is there something that's eating at the blood cells? For menstruating women, I recommend iron screen too, an iron test just to make sure that you're having enough ion reserves, because that's important too for your blood cell formation, which is important for carrying oxygen to different organs in the body. Now, those are typically blood tests, of course imaging testings, colon cancer screening, checking your prostate as a man but you're not a man, so we're going to switch it off.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Then the other slew of tests, depending on what your concerns are but that has to be personalized and a lot of questions. I always like to ask, or encourage patients to ask when they ask for tests, is what would you do when you get this result? So it helps guide. How much you do you know? What would you do, what would you be willing to change? Based on this information? Because once you know you, you do. What would you be willing to change? Based on this information? Because once you know you know what are you going to do based on this, so that helps guide. Sometimes I have patients who come I want everything. I'm like oh, they're over 10 000 blood tests.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I could do so yeah, so you gotta really like what questions you want to ask. Are you tired? Do you check your hormone levels? Do you need to check your cortisol levels?

Michele Folan:

Yeah, I appreciate you saying that about thyroid, because I believe I actually last time I went to the doctor, I asked her to do a more in-depth thyroid panel based on. Actually, one of the guests on my podcast told me to do that and she was like, yeah, sure, I don't always do that, but yeah, let's do it. And so that's why I was hoping to get some of that information from you, because I think that's important for us to direct traffic a little bit when it comes to our doctor's appointments.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I agree, it's your buddy.

Michele Folan:

Exactly, absolutely. You know, when you have a midlife patient come in and they're complaining about not being able to sleep or they're super stressed out, you know they feel like they're kind of amped up anxiety and you know we know some of that can be menopause. How do you coach a patient through sleep and stress and anxiety questions.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

So I ask them will you feel me? Will you do? What are you thinking? And sometimes they're like what do you mean? I'm stressed, I'm like, before I see you the next time, can you just think like what thoughts? I'm afraid I will sleep well. I'm afraid I have a lot of things to do, I'm afraid that I forgot to do something. I'm afraid I tell them to pen it down, like write it down, because it actually helps you take stock of what needs to be addressed. And then we could talk about okay, you're going through a stressful time at your job, what are things we could do? And so I say things like how about you do a brain dump an hour before you go to bed? Let's do a to-do list. What are things you're afraid you're going to forget? Let's write it down.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I encourage journaling. I used to think that was a silly thing to do, but oh my goodness, I journal every day. So, but I do it intentionally. It's not just scribbling, it's more what am I thankful for throughout the day? So what that does to my brain, it's tell my brain that there are things that are working in the day, but because my brain naturally would not tell me like, hey, this worked. Things are not bad. It's only going to show the things that are stress inducing, for whatever reason, I don't know. And so that helps me as I'm training my brain to be more positive. During the day, I'm less stressed because I see the things that are working. But for the sleep part, I say brain dump. So things to do, things I'm grateful for. And then I do this exercise where I reinvent my future by imagination and I tell my patients to do the same thing too.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I said the worst, worst case scenario. You get a good sleep, you're like well, you're setting yourself up for failure and what's false hope. I'm like I get a good sleep, it's worth it. All right, and so the other things are. Especially, especially as women, we don't prioritize sleep. Oh my gosh. It's like whatever is left of the day I'll do. But I remind my patients, women one a lot of people are tied to you. You don't want to not do this for this person. You want to be there for this person. Well, you need to rest and be able to carry the weight of taking care of all the people you care about.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Number two when you sleep, you allow your brain to excrete things, toxins. That's a necessary process. It only happens during good sleep and you wake up refreshed and you're able, actually able to think of good ideas for problem solving right. And then, an hour before you plan to go to bed, like condition your atmosphere. And it's not only you trying to sleep, everybody needs to know you're trying to sleep. So phones are off, electronics are off, your phone is on, did not disturb only those people who need to get to the evening. Allow light stim. You know blackout curtains are in place so that you can really reset to sleep and then try to pee. So those are things, but it varies and a lot of it. Patients or people are like oh my God, I have to do. I'm like there's never going to be a time where you have absolutely nothing to do. So stop stop. You know it's not. It's not possible. There will always be something to do.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, I think for me it's planning my day the night before, so I make a list of all the things that I need to get done so that I can go to bed knowing that I have a plan. So I love your suggestions. I think that's. I'm going to try some of the things that you just suggested. What do you think about alcohol?

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I personally don't drink that. It's a personal choice, more of a consecration type thing for me, but it depends. Why do people drink? So I have people who drink them out of sleep, you know, to help them relax. So one has to be very careful. The recommendations for a woman is no more than five ounces of wine and those big glasses that you can go like this with. That is not five ounces.

Michele Folan:

No, I know.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

So it's why. Why is it more a habit or is it something like? I have people who use it to sleep, who use it to relax. They can't sleep without alcohol. That's a concern. Now there's also the argument that, oh, it contains antioxidants, and you know grapes and the amount needed for it to actually be clinically relevant, you have to drink more than like a lot and at that point it's not worth it. So drink at your discretion. It's not medicinal. I don't believe it's fully medicinal. Just get grapes.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

And make sure you're also finding out, like why that's important, Like can you do without it? That's when I you know like no, I get the shakes, or I feel restless, Can I help with sleep. So that's an option. So alcohol becomes an option for you, not a necessity. So that's a different option versus necessity. When it becomes a necessity, then I get a little concerned. What's going on with your liver? Too much of your blood pressure, your protein intake?

Michele Folan:

Yeah, Okay, if you could influence your patients to do just one thing, what would it be?

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Upgrade your thought life because, oh my gosh, you think possible. It's possible. You think I'm worthy of sacrificing or avoiding certain foods to improve my well-being. A lot of it stems from thoughts, so please be very intentional about your thought life and make efforts to upgrade it for every area of your life.

Michele Folan:

I love that that can be so impactful to so many people. What is one of your most important pillars of self-care that you practice every day? Pray.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Oh yes, I have got to pray. Yeah, that's a non-negotiable, it's a big part of who I am.

Michele Folan:

He's your partner?

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

Yes, Big time.

Michele Folan:

Yeah, you can't see Dr O right now, but she is smiling ear to ear right now. Dr O, you are delightful. Please tell the listeners where they can find you.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

I am on the World Wide Web, wwwlivingspringmedicalscom. There's a point there where you can actually email me and I get emails directly. I also am on YouTube. You can Google my name Tulope Olabintin. I have a YouTube channel over 200 videos just having discussions to help people live longer and well. I've interviewed a lot of doctors and specialists across the globe asking questions like I'm a patient, so there's a lot of resources there. I'm also on Facebook. I'm on Instagram, I'm on TikTok, but not really. It's too addicting. But I'm on LinkedIn as well, so just put my name in Tulalope Olabintan Instagram and her YouTube.

Michele Folan:

She's very engaging and you can tell she really does care about her patients and which is why I had her on the show today. Thank you so much for being here. I will put all your contact information in the show notes and really appreciate it. Thank you for the privilege.

Dr. Tolu Olabintan:

It was really an honor. Thanks Really appreciate it. Thank you for the privilege. It was really an honor.

Michele Folan:

Thanks. Follow Asking for a Friend on social media outlets and provide a review and share this show wherever you get your podcasts. Reviews and sharing help us grow. Thank you you.

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